On top of all the things associated to the above, I unfortunately do all this following stuff to:

Technical/stage management/theatre/stage. I regulary work voluntary for "fun" local Operatic Societies and community shows where you meet talented and obscure people and also get pissed and start causing a little mayhem on GET-OUTS until 4am (sometimes).

Stunt co-ordination, and stunt work. Meh, most recently got me on a 'very important' 'very expensive' 'Motion Picture' 'sequel' and that's all I'm gonna say.

Carnie (circus) stuff, I balance dangerously sharp knives on my nose and wreck my neck in by placing huge and massively weighted ladders, tables, chairs n stuff on my chin. Plus now I can safely perform fire acts - poi, staff juggling, fire breathing (not a huge fan of), fireball faceoff?, unicycle, still learning - giraffe unicycling, stilt walking, stilt acrobatics, backflips, frontflips, somersaults, tumbling, objected handstand, hand-walking and other acrobatic ventures.

Voice acting and other voice talent

Acting stage/film/TV - in some sense, really mostly in full costume for hidden camera comedy and street theatre.

Art direction - fun!

There's plenty of other boring/expensive/interesting/crappy/talent I can't be bothered to list (anymore) not that anyone cares anyway.

I AM QUALIFIED/EXPERIENCED/TALENTED/KNOWLEDGABLE/TECHNICAL/REALLY REALLY RIDICULOUSLY COOL IN THESE FOLLOWING OVERATED EXPENSIVE MAINSTREAM PACKAGES

Avid: Xpress Pro/DV, MediaComposer, MC Xpress, Symphony, FilmComposer, DS Nitrus, Newscutter, Liquid Studio Pro, ProTools and all the other crap Avid Technology bought out

Apple: iMovie, Final Cut Pro, Motion Pro, Shake Pro, DVD Studio Pro, Logic Pro, Soundtrack Pro, Mac OS, Mac OS X, Final Cut Studio

Microsoft: Windows Movie Maker, Office, Windows, Hover!, SkiFree (heha)

Adobe: After Effects, Premiere Pro, Audition, Bridge, Version Cue, Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, Dreamweaver, Fireworks, Flash, Contribute, Freehand (bless it)

Steinberg: Cubase

FXHome: AlamDV/EffectsLab Pro/Lite

Red Giant: Magic Bullet Suite, Magic Bullet Editors

Lightworks: Lightworks

Toon Boom Animation: Toon Boom Studio/Harmony/Solo

Boinx: iStopMotion

Alias: Maya

Pixar: Renderman, Marionette (yea I wish)

Boris: Media 100, Boris Red, Boris FX

Profile design was adapted from layout and code by Kristin Pishdadi
but I think it still sucks, I'll be sorting out another one in time.

Now don't get lost in this page...... if it was me I would have left already or....... now, x.

This bit's rather pointless really considering everything else on this crappy page and I really haven't updated this since joining this corporate hellzine, arrr I'll remove it soon or something blaaaaaaaaa wasted.

Whooaa animation, film/tv/video production, post production, movies, premieres, theatre, music production, stage production, stunt co-ordinating/stunt work, skateboarding + other extreme sports, TV, VHS, DVD, Apple Computing, computers, shopping trolleys, fu*king up England, being against the government, getting arrested, Avid, Final Cut Pro, After Effects, Flash, Dreamweaver, the interweb, CKY, Brandon DiCamillo, skateboarding photography, HDCAM, technical shat, stage sets, This Is Stupid! Pain, Lame and Crude, Slaphead Media LLC, Idiotic Group of Co, Stage lighting, Games!, Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine, Jackass: Number Two, Dickhouse/Dalkey 2 Productions, PIXAR, John Lassetter, Renderman, Marionette, Rockstar Games/North/Leeds/London/Vancouver/Licoln/San Diego/Toronto(/Vienna Xdead since 10/05/06X), Adeline Soft International, No Cliche, F4 (F4-toys), Ludoid, Lionhead Studios (sold, Molyneux needed the cash again), Bullfrog Productions (death by EA - RIP), Objective Productions, the Marlowe Theatre, hating the heartagram "bamagram", Forum administration, TV: The Movie, eBay, Pure Pwnage, Pro gaming, the studio environment, Dogtown, Skateboarding history, film burns, 16mm colors, rustic California/L.A, gaming production, n00bs, warez, illegal, alcohol, camera engineering, Little Big Adventure, Grim Fandango, LucasArts, Monkey Island, Sam and Max, Neversoft, The Warriors, Unreal Tournament, Chris Sawyer, consoles, Digital Betacam, HD, Super 16mm, 35mm, CRAZY TEENAGE WHITSTABLE BEACH PARTIES (ones where police turn up in 4 Landrovers 8 hours later), blah blah blah bvlahahdihdiuhudid, wrolf wrolf arllllllll arlllllllllllll wrolf arlllll don't stab me

The Big Lebowski (1998), French Dressing (1964), Jackass: The Movie (2002), Jackass: Number Two (2006), This Is Stupid! Pain, Lame and Crude (V) (2008), Untitled This Is Stupid! Project (V) (2008), F*ckface: The Idiotic Video (V) (2008), Shit: The Big Brother Video (V) (1996), Number Two: The Big Brother Video (V) (1998), Boob: The Big Brother Video (V) (1999), Crap: The Big Brother Video (V) (2001), Jump off a Building (V) (1998), Landspeed: CKY (V) (1999), CKY2k (V) (2000), CKY 3 (V) (2001) CKY 4: the Latest and Greatest (V) (2002), Haggard (2003), Dream Seller (V) (2007), Kiss a Good Man's Ass/Minghags (2007) [FINALLY IN PRODUCTION!], Dirty Sanchez: The Movie (2006), Memento (2000), Kingpin (1996), Crazy Monkey Presents: Straight Outta Benoni (2005), The Dudesons Movie (2006), National Lampoon's TV: the Movie (2006), Goodfellas (1990), The Godfather (1972), American History X (1998), Koyaanisqatsi (1983), Powaqqatsi (1988), Naqoyqatsi (2002), Tenkû no shiro Rapyuta (Castle in the Sky) (1986), Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (Spirited Away) (2001), Memento (2000), Dogtown and Z-boys (2001), Snatch (2000), The Blues Brothers (1980), Gattaca (1997), Casino (1995), Supersize Me (2004), Jane Austen's Mafia! (1998) Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998), The Business (2005), Gangster No. 1 (2000), 25th Hour (2002), Diarios de Motocicleta (The Motorcycle Diaries) (2004), L.A. Confidential (1997), the 51st State (2001), Beauty and the Beast (1991), Wayne's World (1992), Wayne's World 2 (1993), A Clockwork Orange (1971), Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006), Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996), Beavis and Butthead 2 (CANCELLED THANKS TO STUPID MTV PISSING OFF MIKE JUDGE), Don't Try This at Home: The Steve-O Video (V) (2001), Don't Try This at Home: The Tour (V) (2001), Steve-O: Out on Bail (V) (2003), Steve-O: The Early Years (V) (2004), Alan Partridge: The Movie (2007), Happy Gilmore (1996), The Shining (1980), The Truman Show (1998), Biodome (1996), Waterworld (1995), 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), The Shawshank Redemption (1994), South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut (1999), A Beautiful Mind (2001), American Beauty (1999), The Green Mile (1999), The Nightmare before Christmas (1993), Reno 911!: Miami (2007), 24 Hour Party People (2002), Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997), Deep Blue (2003), Earth (2007), Pulp Fiction (1994), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004), Office Space (1999), Kill Bill 1 (2003), Kill Bill 2 (2004), Alferd Packer: The Musical (1996), Sin City (2005), Sin City 2 (2007), Sin City 3 (2008), Porky's (1982), Home Alone (1990), Home Alone II: Lost in New York (1992), Kids (1995), 7-Teen Sips (2000), American Psycho (2000), Goldeneye (1995), The Simpsons Movie (2007), Phantom of the Opera (2004), Almost Famous (2000) Cool Runnings (1993), Blue Jeans (1977), Toy Story (1995), Toy Story 2 (1999), Toy Story 3 (2008), A Bug's Life (1998), Monster's Inc. (2001), Finding Nemo (2003), The Incredibles (2004), Cars (2006), Ratatouille (2007), National Lampoon's Animal House (1978), Monty Python's Meaning of Life (1983), Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979), Series 7: The Contenders (2001), Human Traffic (1999), Trainspotting (1996), Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989), Of Mice and Men (1992), Lord of the Flies (1990), Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (1991), Girlfight (2000), Dave Gorman's Googlewack (V), Hide and Seek (2005), The Warriors (1979), 28 Days Later (2002), 28 Weeks Later (2007), 28 Months Later (NOT CONFIRMED), 28 Years Later (LOL NOT CONFIRMED), Spongebob Squarepants Movie (2004), Fairly OddParents Movie (2007) [NOT HAPPENING!], The Warriors (2006), Team America: World Police (2005), The Fifth Element (1997), Bum Fights Vol 1: A Cause for Concern (V) (2001), Bum Fights Vol 2: Bumlife (V) (2003), Bum Fights Vol 3: The Felony Footage (V) (2004), Blingalong: the Bling Bling video (V) (2004) and the Pure Pwnage internet series (2004 - present)

There's lots more but alcohol affects thought.

Jackass, Peep Show, Trigger Happy TV, Wildboyz, VLB (fake as hell except the stuff by Mr 'genius' DiCamillo and Joe Frantz's nice cinematic timelapses, most of which are stolen from Haggard), Little Britain, Dead Ringers, 2DTV, Homewrecker (absolute crap except the 'Pranks and You' mini 'films'), Crazy Monkey, Crazy Monkey in the UK, Dirty Sanchez, Extreme Duudsonnit, Duudsoni-elämää, Gladiators, The Simpsons, Beavis and Butt-Head, Aaahh! Real Monsters, Futurama, Doug, Wacky Racers, Noah's Island, The Animals of Farthing Wood, Where's Wally?, Freakazoid, Ban This Filth, Bodger and Badger, The Moomins, Spongebob Squarepants, Sonic: the Hedgehog, Two Thousand Acres in the Sky, Catch the Pigeon, The Avengers (Diana Rigg Era - w00t), Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em, Men Behaving Badly, Whose Line is It Anyway? UK & US, Get Your Own Back, Charly Says, The Secret Life of Toys, Record Breakers, To Me To You, Taz-Mania, Family Guy, Inspector Gadget, Clerks, Scrubs, Bottom, Wonder Shozen, TV Funhouse, Tiswas, Don't Forget Your Toothbrush, The Wonderful World of Alex Mack, Saved by the Bell, Ninja Warrior, Saturday Nite Live, Stankervision, Button Moon, Animaniacs, Count Duckula, TFI Friday, Big Train, Dennis, Alvin & The Chipmonks, Fireman Sam, VR Troopers, Mrs. Merton, The Fone Jacker, Ghost Hunter, I'm Alan Partridge, Duck Tales, Small Talk, Planet Earth, All David Attenborough's Docs, Street Hypnosis, Hong Kong Phooey, Top Cat, Spider!, Home to Rent (Space Goofs), Grabbit the Rabbit, The Raccoons, Rocko's Modern Life, Tintin, Eerie Indiana, Bailey Kipper's P.O.V, Melvin and Maureen Music a Grams, Out of Tune, The Busy World of Richard Scarry, Ocean Odyssey, Round the Twist, Saved by the Bell, The Prisoner, Bromwell High, The Bronx Bunny Show, Max Magic, Unholy Union, Zig and Zag, The Fresh Prince of Belair, Trumpton, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventures, The Family Ness, Alistair McGowan's Big Impression, Pimp My Ride US & UK, The League of Gentlemen, Ghostwatch, The Blue Planet, Oscar's Orchestra, The Queen's Nose, TLC, Hey Arnold!, Jungle Run, Sharky and George, Pigeon Street, Morph, Bertha, Ivor the Engine, Funhouse (UK), Finders Keepers (UK - Buchanan era), Bananaman, Looney Tunes, The Real Hustle, Hustle, The Magic Roundabout, Jonathon Creek, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Global Edition, 30 Days, Channel 4 Marketing Advertisements, Reno 911!, Full Metal Challenge, It'll Never Work, 50/50, Scrapheap Challenge, The Crystal Maze "Momseeyy!", The Two Ronnies, The Two Ronnies Sketchbook, Brass Eye, Garth Marenghi's Dark Place, Transylvania Pet Shop, Danger Mouse, Ghostwriter, Look and Read, The Herbs, Dig and Dug (with Daisy), Brum, Fun House, Playdays, The Shoe People, Rupert, Phoenix Nights, American Dad, Big Kids, WWE, Magick, Mike & Angelo, My Parents are Aliens, Kenan and Kel, The Borrowers, ZZZap!, Horrible Henry, Bitsa, Brian Conley: This Way Up, The Brian Conley Show, The Brian Conley Experience, An Audience with Brian Conley, Brian Conley: Alive and Dangerous, Brian Conley's Crazy Christmas, Another Audience With Brian Conley, The Goodies, The Goodies and the Beanstalk, Goodies Rule - O.K.?, Captain Caveman and the Teenangels, Dick n Dom in da Bungalow, Harry Batt, Lost, Have I Got News for You, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Takeshi's Castle, Lock Stock: The TV series, Derren Brown: Mind Control, Derren Brown: Trick of the Mind, Derren Brown: Plays Russian Roulette Live, Derren Derren Brown: Séance, Derren Brown: The Gathering, Derren Brown: Messiah, Derren Brown: The Heist, Derren Brown: Live (Something Wicked This Way Comes Tour 06), Balls of Steel, Home Improvement, The Film Programme, Film 2000, Film 2001, Film 2002, Film 2003, Film 2004, Film 2005, Film 2006, Film 2007, Jackass Backyard BBQ Movie Special, The Making of Jackass: The Movie, Making the Video: We Want Fun, The Making of Jackass: Number Two, Making the Movie: Jackass: Number Two, Making the Video: Joker & The Thief, Aquila, Woof!, Pinky and the Brain, Fairly OddParents, Fawlty Towers, The Poddington Peas, Cow and Chicken, Weird Short Films on Channel 4, Extras, South Park, Bremner Bird and Fortune, Salty's Lighthouse, Pippi Longstocking, Stressed Eric, Celebrity Deathmatch (the new episodes suck), Stitch Up!, MTV Cribs, The Trap Door, MadTV, MTV Making the Video, CatDog, Robot Chicken, The Dave Gorman Collection, Dave Gorman's Important Astrology Experiment, Father Ted

There's lots more but alcohol affects thought (again)
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BTW I'M SORRY BUT I ABSOLUTELY HATE ENDEMOL/ZEPPOTRON, BIG BROTHER, SPACE CADETS AND ALL THE OTHER REALITY CRAP THEY PRODUCE. ALSO POP STARS, POP IDOL, X-FACTOR, FAME ACADEMY, STRICTLY GO TO HELL AND GO DANCING & THE OTHER DEPRESSING SPIN-OFFS, THE SALON, I'M A UNKNOWN TRASHY CELEBRITY WHO IS JUST A PERSON AND DON'T DESERVE ANY OTHER CREDIT THAN ANY OTHER PERSON GET ME OUT OF HERE AND ALL THE OTHER ABSOLUTE CRAP MODERN ENGLISH BROADCASTERS AND SOCIETY HAS PUMPED OUT INTO ALREADY FILTHY YOUNG DISGUSTING USELESS MINDS

"LET THE FIRES RAGE, LET IT BURN TO ASH, LET THE WATERS RISE AND SUBMERGE THIS WHOLE RAT-INFESTED SCUM GENRE OF MILLION-MAKING TELEVISION"

Thanks! lol I'm pretty mental about certain things! hahaa

Kristina Kovacic, Brandon DiCamillo, Joe Frantz, Kenneth Russell, James Booth (too late, sadly), Alita Naughton (too late?), Frederick Raynal, Brian Conley, The Dudesons, Jarret Cale, Geoff Lapaire, Joel Gardiner and the other Pure Pwnage crew, CKY, Ron Fricke, Phillip Glass, Godfrey Reggio, John Lassetter and teh PIX.. *cough* DISNEY-PIXAR animators & Marionette people, Tony Hawk, Ryan Simonetti, 'Dirty Old Geeza' (the artist behind the infamous 'Blasphomy' track), Richard Waites (again), Neil Buchanan, Tim Edmunds, Lauren Minnaar (again), errrrrr?

Anyone that can give us direct free access to Digital Betacams/DVCPROs/HDCAMs/HDVs/DVCPRO HDs/Super 16mm/35mm/etc cameras all for free and will pay for the blank media/film, maintenance, transfer, and colour correction work.

Skateboarders/BMXers/Other extreme sporters.

"Carnies" (circus) - people breathe fire, front/backflips, somersaults, fire on the head, club/staff jugglers, parkour, martial arts, karate, judo, break dance, bboy, stilt, other arts which (sorry) I can't remember......... stuff liek that is all excellently good.

Anyone that goes against the country in law, rules or society but not criminals.

Anyone who gets pissed pretty quickly and produces a lot of entertainment and will sign a release form for free.

Anyone who has amazing fight footage (who are willing to hand it over for free and without release payment).

People who want to join the quest to boost awareness of our great county of Kent on the earth through the passive use of comical, sportive and extreme entertainment.

Anyone who could just give me 200k + or more at will?

A really good local public distributor that won't rip us off and is cheap.

Someone that manages to change my negative perspective of the world, english society typically.

Someone local with a really good commercial printer that'll do stuff cheap or better for free.

Fighters.

Comedians! I love comedy typically hidden camera and street theatre stuff.

The artists that painted a chain of stickmen around the roundabout off at the Aylesham junction from the A2 (the one that had gay-pride purple streamers in the trees for 3/4 years.

Techies that work either in theatre, film/TV and music I guess

Swedish people heha.

Nice people who don't give a the dog a bone what you look like, what your wear, what you do, what music you listen to, what you eat, what you believe...............

Good bands and movie related soundtrackers, and legal people? to sort out the stuff about no royalties cause we barely have budgets, hehh.