Scott Sourile

yah your not kidding.

Pretty much the same. There's definitely always room for shit to get worse. So these days I just do what I can and cross my fingers in hope that it doesn't get worse. :P I'm good though. How's life been for you lately?

So hows things going for you? ... I'm moving out with Kevin, I'm sure I told you, but this will mean having to put off school, more then likely  which blows rock candy, but whatever ... I have a lot of time to do school and I can take SOME classes depending on money. Anyways, enough about me. What's goin on with you?

dude, so I was having all these problems with my crazy boyfriend (whom I've settled everything with ... we're back to being just plain happy and we're gonna move in together soon!!) and she decided to come out to Chicago from PA where she's been living for a while and wanted me to come back with her and her boyfriend and Preston. I said I'd come out for a visit to just get away from everyone and everything (this was before Kevin and I fixed our issues). Well, Kevin and I talked things out and Stefanie wanted to have a night where we all got together, ordered pizza, drank (all on Kevin's dime, of course ... I've paid him back, but still ...) Well, she decided to start drama and long story short the final straw was her telling Kevin I had sex with someone I've NEVER had sex with before. He was pissed, asked me about it, we talked ... I ended up snapping at her about it. Kevin saw the drama starting so he made me leave the apartment with him to cool off outside. Well, when we got back, it was like 6am ... she and her boyfriend are having sex in my mom's bed (my mom wasn't here, obviously). I waited 10 minutes, went back, opened the door and said "We gotta talk" ... I told her they all had to leave. I was done. Sick of it. She saw I was happy with Kevin and couldn't stand it and tried to eff it up. Well, she was pissed, walked away and went to my mom's room where all their bags and Preston were. She tried to close the door and I know how she is ... not that she'd steal, but she'd try to break my mom's shit and whatever, so I walked over was like "No no no. The door stays open." She fucking LUNGED at me and started choking me, clawing my shoulder ... she ripped thru my sweater AND shirt. The bitch is CRAZY. All I did was try to pull away, but at that point, she was also pulling my hair, so ... yeah. It was insane. Her poor boyfriend tries to separate us and she PUNCHED him! TWICE! I felt so bad for making him and Preston leave, but I could not have her here. She was call

Ugh no I'm not working there anymore. I've been having anxiety attacks and had to take a leave of absence which led to filing for disability. I tried going back to work at one point, but I was stuffing anti-anxiety pills down my throat like candy, so ... I didn't go back. And I'm still having them; I've had 5 since August 23rd. Its difficult for me and everyone makes me feel horrible about the whole thing. Like I'm faking it, despite the fact that the people who make me feel bad (my mom, Kevin, my ex, Vyni ...) have all been witnesses to either the anxiety attacks or the depressive episodes or both. And still ... they act like its a horrible thing for me to ... feel lost. I feel hopeless and helpless, but I don't exactly have anyone HELPING ... Kevin and my mom seem to ADD to the attacks and depression. Kevin says I can make it stop ... like I have control of it or I do it on purpose or something. I dunno. My mom just keeps asking for money so ... my meds don't get bought and I haven't seen the doc since July. Ugh ... you should come home. If I had the $300 for your plane ticket ... I'd give it to you! It would be nice to go out with some good friends and have a few drinks ... altho Kevin would probably accuse me of cheating on him ... again. He's a psycho, I tell you. 

well my psycho controlling boyfriend forced me to apply to Harper College, which in essence is a good thing, except for one minor detail ... the Illinois Community College Board hasn't approved Harper for the Human Services courses, which is what I want to major in ... the approval is still pending; has been for a few months. I tried explaining that to him, but he basically insisted I was a bum if I didn't apply. Other then waiting for orientation for a college which wont be able to teach me what I want to learn - everything is ... well, I'd be lying if I said "alright" so let's just say ... it will be alright, eventually. All I can do is keep my head up. How are you, sir? Hopefully much better then me ... 

Ehh ... not everything is going the way I'd like, but ... what can you do? I have a cold right now, which is, of course, so much fun and just makes me the best of company to be around (snot rags and puffy eyes ... what more could a man ask for lol) ... other then that ... yeah ... been having some mildly violent fantasies about killing my boyfriend, but ... sshhh ... don't tell anyone lol

heeeey .... how's it hanging??? 

i dint get it man i was looking foward to a good lough

lol not yet

shhh n ure secrets r safe with me

pretty sure i should be HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 'ING TO YOU! plus mines not for another 4 days :)