is the soundtrack of my life. Some really incredible bands and artists have kept my courage up in the ongoing war against my daemon. Here are some samples:
is the tool of Satan. That brain-box is the New World Order's main weapon against freedom. KILL YOUR TELEVISION!
Books
I've only written one...
On a hot June evening in Alabama, a man dressed for a funeral entered a State Police station with evidence of a gruesome murder... His own.
Joe Abraham is just a Worker's Compensation investigator, a city-boy recovering from the destruction of his entire family on 9/11. The case is simple enough: a redneck survival-nut living out in the woods. But then the forest starts talking, black helicopters appear overhead, and Joe falls out of the real world forever. Suddenly, Joe is missing several days. He learns that he's been working all along for The Company™ – the sinister shadow at the heart of every global conspiracy. Bizarre characters appear, evoking strange new memories. Did Joe forget that he learned Gun Fu from former CIA assassins? Or did the Sinister Men In Black (SMIB) program him to remember? And is his boss working with, or against, the FBI? As if that wasn't bad enough, Joe's fallen in love with his suspect's neice – the heir to an extraordinary birthright, gifted with great powers and cursed with a supernatural stalker. Is Joe supposed to defend her from a dark past, or has he been turned into the perfect patsy in the ultimate contest of good and evil?... Joe has stumbled into a twilight world of contradictions – a place where angels and demons gamble for human souls, where the very land is haunted by its history. Where you can meet the Devil at a moonlit crossroads, or raise a ghost just by speaking of the past.
A place that's South of Strange...
Inspired by the southern gothic tradition, South of Strange is where old and new worlds collide, complicating our sense of self...threatening to drive us into the depths of despair and paranoia.
You can read it as soon as it's published...
Heroes
T.S. Stribling. Neil Gaiman. Ray Bradbury. William Faulkner. Terry Pratchett. Charles Williams. Flannery O'Connor. Charles Bukowski. Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Isaac Asimov. Naghuib Mahfouz. J.R.R. Tolkien. Robert Heinlein. Margaret Atwood. David Weber. Arturo Perez Reverte. Rumi. David Lynch. Homer. Umberto Eco. Stephen King. David Mamet. Alan Dean Foster. Omar Khayyam. Eric Flint. H.P. Lovecraft. Too many to list...
I wasn't born with the name "Matt Osborne." It is an alias to protect me and the secretive organization from which I have retired: The Sinister Men In Black — SMIBs.
SMIBs have been with humanity for thousands of years. They have appeared in every culture, usually following significant supernatural events. Their speech is otherworldly, their behavior strange. Witnesses are threatened, coaxed, and cajoled into silence — or driven insane. Since the 1950s, the SMIBs appeared after many UFO and alien events, slowly rising in the public consciousness until an explosion of media attention in the 1990s. Then their already-rare visits came to a sudden, mysterious end, with the last reported sightings taking place shortly before September 11th, 2001.
Who were they? What is their agenda? Where were they from? How are they connected to the conspiracies and cover-ups of our time? Why do they always wear black?
For the answers to these and many other questions, subscribe to my blog. For while I can never reveal the facts, I can use lies to tell the truth — which is always more important than facts. Truth made of lies is called a "story;" and whereas all stories are true, some of them even happened.
Who I'd like to meet: READERS. Lots and lots of readers. Also, an AGENT looking to take a chance on a very, very quirky sci-fi/mystery novel set in the American south.
Also, I'd love to meet these people:
GOD
THE DEVIL
JESUS
BATBOY
ANGELS
DEMONS
BIGFOOT
NESSIE
ELVIS
DRACULA
ALIENS
GHOSTS
WEREWOLF
MUMMY
WITCH
GOBLINS
Basically, I'd gladly meet anyone who has ever posed for the world's most informative publication.
I have been born. That is to say, I have been published. Just wanted you to know that. Oh, and the author misses getting those strange phone calls from, the ones where all he can hear is a lot of noise.
Hey there, O Strange One! Long time no see! How's it going? I've been offline for quite a while. Just trying to catch up with my old friends. Hope all is well. Voo
Have a Very Merry CHRISTMAS, a Happy Hopeful HANNUKAH (!הבה נגילה), a Kick-Ass Krazy KWANZA, a Sensationally Spirited and Slightly Sprightly SATURNALIA, a Deliriously Delightful Zhou Dynasty DōNGZHI, a Wonderfully Wayward and Wickedly Wacky SHABE-YALDA, a Joyful Jubilant INTI RAYMI, an Enchanted Elated Extended SOLSTICE DAY with Great Gaiety and Giddy Moondancing Galore, a Blissfully Bouncy and Brilliantly Bountiful ALBAN ARTHAN, a Harmonious and Healthy Hopi SOYAL, a Delicious yet Decidedly Decadent YULE, some Seriously Silly Stupendous SWIANTKI, a Mirthful Month of RAMADAN, a Calm and Contentedly Contemplative BODHI DAY, a Jolly Jolly Jolly DIWALI, a Zowee Zoroastrian DAYGāN, a Fantastic if Fatalistic Nietzschean NIHILIST BLOW-OUT, and/or a Fabulously Feelgood FESTIVUS (for the rest of us)!
And remember: "Every time a bell rings... another congressman, senator or governor gets caught in an FBI corruption sting."
Suddenly, Joe is missing several days. He learns that he's been working all along for The Company™ – the sinister shadow at the heart of every global conspiracy. Bizarre characters appear, evoking strange new memories. Did Joe forget that he learned Gun Fu from former CIA assassins? Or did the Sinister Men In Black (SMIB) program him to remember? And is his boss working with, or against, the FBI?
As if that wasn't bad enough, Joe's fallen in love with his suspect's neice – the heir to an extraordinary birthright, gifted with great powers and cursed with a supernatural stalker. Is Joe supposed to defend her from a dark past, or has he been turned into the perfect patsy in the ultimate contest of good and evil?...
Joe has stumbled into a twilight world of contradictions – a place where angels and demons gamble for human souls, where the very land is haunted by its history. Where you can meet the Devil at a moonlit crossroads, or raise a ghost just by speaking of the past.
Inspired by the southern gothic tradition, South of Strange is where old and new worlds collide, complicating our sense of self...threatening to drive us into the depths of despair and paranoia.
