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History of Space Witch
Space is trippy, Witch is heavy.
Let it be known that the ones who are called Space Witch were spawned in the shining month of July 2007 AD in the kiln strewn kingdom of Stoke on Trent, by the one known only as ‘Daz’, who had been cursed by a plague and struck down. But Daz fought his malady with the help of cosmic magic and fashioned great riffs of cast iron doom on his Gibson SG that had been blessed by wood elves on Mow Cop and that made him feel strong again and made his bones roar with power.
His merry helper Rob joined his riff making on his bass and also a lass christened Sara played another guitar and together they both helped Daz to make the vibrating enchantment called rock music.
Alas, they were in need of a man to beat hard upon tight skins of animal hide but by a stroke of luck, bless Odin’s beard, Rob and Sara beheld the fabled warrior Al drum at a great party in a cave, and he blew them away with his tireless strength. They went back and told Daz, and Al was recruited. He already played in the mighty Rise To Thunder, who had been terrorising Stoke for some time.
They jammed on but Rob had to pull out after a lunar month because he was busy with prog fusion band Normal Wisdom, and three small bairns. They carried on as a three piece but in September Sara left to learn new things at a university. So Daz and Al gritted their rotten teeth and carried on jamming. A stout hearted fellow called Doog ( also in the band Normal Wisdom, along with Al), who could also play the drums and blow well on a saxophone, joined in on his sturdy bass guitar. The jams were really getting clever and powerful now so Daz and Al asked him to join forever. He accepted, and the wise ones smiled, for they knew it was good.
In the darkness of November 2007 Al introduced the idea of the sinister noise wizard Pete, also the bassist man in Rise To Thunder, joining in on moooooooog (a weird analogue synthesiser, believed to be a gift from the Elder Gods). Together they blasted and boomed and crushed the rocks in the earth and shot at the stars in the sky and made the holy hypocrites in their temples tremble. Daz and Al and Doog and Pete finally saw that Space Witch was mystic and high into the sky with all the stars, like eating the small mushrooms of the field and smoking the green leaves from the hot lands beyond Arabia, and was fucking heavy like the ancient metal lords of the great ruined city of steel chariots.
The stars were aligned at last and in the green month of May 2008, they played for the first time supporting Rise To Thunder at the inn called the Glebe, and they unleashed their astral drone, and the peasants were afraid and they flung themselves down and prayed to the one, for they knew the time had come for the Space Witch, in all her arcane and timeless glory, to finally return to the earth and claim what was rightfully hers.
BOW DOWN IF YOU VALUE YOUR PITIFUL LIFE, ALL HAIL THE COSMIC DOOM OF THE SPACE WITCH…SHE IS THE CREATOR, SHE IS THE DESTROYER, SHE IS THE EARTH, SHE IS THE FUCKING UNIVERSE, AAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHH…………
Adam - September 2008
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