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Matt Allen
Stand-Up / Jokes / Other
Matt Allen Like Febreez for the smelly couch of your mind

Male
28 years old
Burlington, MA
United States



Last Login: 10/28/2009
Mood: blissful Mood Image
View My: Pics | Videos | Gifts

   Contacting Matt Allen

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   Matt Allen's Comedian Bio
BioMatt Allen is a Bookseller turned Stand-up comedian from Springfield, MO. whether its Baby Voices, Homeless people with post-it notes, or his never ending feud with Kansas and North Dakota's Quarters. Matt Allen loves to show you his world one joke at a time. With a mix of observational humor, Random thoughts, and slight akwardness, matt leaves his audience laughing and looking at the world a little different. Family friendly or smoky bar Matt can keep your attention. He also has a side project he calls "Matt Allen and the Magical Lights" involving a very tiny light up Casio keyboard and thoughts that would make Jack Handy wonder if he has a missing brother. He is also very talented at typing in third person, so it seems as if someone else much more important than him is writing his Bio.
Websiteclose your eyes.....aaaaand........now open them.......
InfluencesMitch Hedberg, Demetri Martin, Eugine Mirman, Mike Birbiglia, Jerry Seinfeld, Woody Allen, Todd Barry, Jim Gaffigan
TV ShowsI was on the news once....i told them i thought gas prices where to high....It wasn't funnny....but it was true.
AlbumsComing Soon....my first album titled "What are the odds?"

    Matt Allen's Interests
GeneralSo much stuff...Doing Stand up comedy, Painting, Writing, Watching Movies, Music, so on and so forth
MusicTom Waits, White Stripes, Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Nick Drake, Nick Cave, Elvis Costello, Cat Power, Ben Kweller, Mozart, Chopin, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Bobby Darin, Ella Fitzgerald, Billy Holiday, Harry Connick Jr. Micheal Buble', Squirrel Nut Zippers, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles (all memebers as well), The Guess Who, The Who, Lovin' Spoonful, Oasis, Magnetic Fields, Phantom Planet, The Walkmen, The Effects, Willy Nelson, Patsy Cline, Bruce Springsteen, Michel Shocked, Pearl Jam, Steve Earle, Rufus Wainright, Ray Charles, Count Basie, Duke Ellington, George Gershwin, Beethoven, Damien Rice, Norah Jones, Joe Henry, Solomon burke, Mazzy Star, Doors, Joni MItchell, Yo La Tango, Miles Davis, Ben Harper, PolyPhonic Spree, Dandy Warhols, Iron and Wine, Josh Ritter, Jeff Black, Greenhornes, Louis Armstrong, Simon and Garfunkle, Dr. John, Bobby Gentry, Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly, Brian Seltzer, Otis Redding, Marvin Gaye, Sigur Rose, Strokes, Ryan Adams, Iggy Pop, Andre Bocelli, Tool, NIN, Wilco, G Love, Elton John, Robbie Williams, Starsailor, Nat King Cole, Ed Harcourt, Loretta Lynne, Don Mclean, Beck, Dave Matthews, Blur, Weezer, Vines, Black Keys, Shams, Thee Fine Lines, Mooney Suzukie, Jet, Soledad Brothers, Detriot Cobras, LeadBelly, Hetchmen, Beta Band, Pink Floyd, Emenim, Von Bondies, Jay z, Outkast, The Roots, Amiee Mann, Rolling Stones, John Pizzarelli, Dave Brubeck, Hives, Jeff Buckley, Elvis, Chris Isakk, Steve Poltz, Jock Johnson, Green Day, Muse, Mum, St. Germain, REM, The Kinks, Radiohead, Coldplay, Flaming Lips, Super Furry Animals, Stereophonics, Moby, Bright Eyes, Tori Amos, Fiona Apple, Kings of Leon, Over the Rhine, Danny Elfman, Jon Brion, Tony Bennet, Ambulance LTD, Keren Ann, Air, Mody, Jeff Black, Judd, Belle and Sabastian, Beastie Boys, Sloan, Black Crows, Modest Mouse, Robert Johnson, Blind Willie Johnson, Muddy Waters, Son House, Susan Tedeskie, Bjork, Joseph Arthur, CCR, oh, ....my brain..can't go on....must stop.....Wait there's more Dresden Dolls, Arcade Fire, Killers, Man Man, Matt Pond Pa, Ray Lamontage, Kings Of Convience, Ludo, Supernauts, The Redwalls, Hot Hot Heat, Andrew Bird, Regina Spektor, Apollo Sunshine, Clap your hands say yeah, Someone still loves you borus yeltson, Did i say Sweetwater Abilene?, Sweetwater Abilene, To any band i missed.....i'm sorry
MoviesCharlie Chaplin Films, Really Old Horror Fims, Really Bad Sci-Fi films, Ed Wood, Vincent Price movies, Wizard of Oz, Almost Famous, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Adaptation, Punch Drunk Love, Amelie, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, American Splendor, Magnolia, Oceans Eleven, Ghostbusters, Three Amigos, What About Bob, Lost in Translation, Man on the Moon, Coffee and Cigarettes, Down by Law, Royal Tanenbaums, Bottle Rocket, Edward Siscorhands, Mars Attacks, Nightmare Before Christmas, Citizen Kane, Metropolis, Run Lola Run, City of Lost Children, High Fedelity, Singin in the Rain, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Dawn of the Dead, Human Nature, Being John Malkovich, Sleepy Hollow, Kill Bill, Big Labowski, Pulp Fiction, Snatch, Army of Darkness, Fight Club, Swingers, Resevouir dogs, Capote, History of Violence, Broken Flowers, King Kong, Mirrormask, True Romance, Red Dawn, Dick Tracy, Goonies, Dogtown and the Z boys, Citizen Kane, Truman show, Anchorman, Labryinth....and so on
Television
Watch These

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30 Rock
Lost
Heroes
The Office
Bionic Woman
Chuck
Books
Read these
Caption for imageCaption for image
Caption For ImageCaption For Image
HeroesBatman
Groups: Downtown SpringfieldBlack Box Revue

View All Matt Allen's Groups

     Matt Allen's Details
Status:Single
Here for:Networking, Friends
Orientation:Straight
Hometown:Oologah, Ok
Body type:6' 1" / Slim / Slender
Ethnicity:White / Caucasian
Religion:Atheist
Zodiac Sign:Taurus
Smoke / Drink:No / Yes
Occupation:Ice Machine/ Coffeemaker/ Entertainment Stand


Matt Allen's Clips [View All Clips]
Clips: 3 Total Plays: 1221 Plays Today: 0
Stand-up With some Magical Lights @ Loony Bin Comedy Club
Stand-up With some Magical Lights @ Loony Bin Comedy Club rating
Matt Allen @ The Mystery Hour Comey Show 2/03/07
Matt Allen @ The Mystery Hour Comey Show 2/03/07 rating
Matt Allen & the Magical Lights
Matt Allen & the Magical Lights rating
 

Matt Allen's Latest Blog Entry  [Subscribe to this Blog]

I’m Pretty excited about my new video  (view more)

The Jimmy Kimmel Sierra Mist College Comedy Championship TONIGHT!!  (view more)

Sometimes when i’m angry, i kindof look like Julie Andrews  (view more)

More of this and that  (view more)

Rambling at 5:54am  (view more)

[View All Blog Entries]

   Matt Allen's Blurbs
About me:
I'm a stand-up comic. I write lots of things down, and i say some of them later to lots of people. I used to think i wouldn't live to be 25, but i made it. So thats an accomplishment. Now i think i'll be crazy by 30, here's to hoping.
MySpace Layouts
Who I'd like to meet:


And If time and Death didn't matter I'd Like to meet.....

Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg

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   Matt Allen's Friend Space (Top 34)
Matt Allen has 765 friends.
 Tim 


 Chris 


 Tyler Snodgrass 


 Trent Wilson 


 The Outland 


 The Moxie 


 Cody 


 Jenny Peppertooth 


 Pamalama 


 freckles 


 The Boogeymen 


 Sweetwater Abilene 


 The Dirty Blondes 


 Carrie, Carrie quite contrary... 


 Mystery Jeff 


 Mr. Fancypants and His One Man Band 


 The Skinny Improv 


 The Skinny Improv's 'THE MYSTERY HOUR! 


 Jim Short 


 Sir Davis 


 Conrad Courtney 


 Claude Stuart 


 John Burton 


 ComicJBrown 


 Gary Saenz 


 Lewis Black 


 Zach Galifianakis 


 Demetri Martin 


 Mike Birbiglia 


 Brian Posehn 


 Eugene Mirman 


 Patton Oswalt 


 Jim Gaffigan 


 reese 





Matt Allen's Friends Comments
Displaying 25 of 325 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
The Scrawny Pale Guy

The Scrawny Pale Guy



Jul 14 2009 5:48 PM

What's up Matt Allen?! Long time... NO TALK. Hey, Jon Lovits just opened his brand new comedy club on the citywalk of Universal Studios Hollywood. Thought it would be a great place for you to play sometime. Anyways, Hope all's well back in Missouri- PEACE
Angelina

 Angelina



Jul 14 2009 5:48 PM

what are YOU up to?!
The Scrawny Pale Guy

The Scrawny Pale Guy



Nov 8 2008 8:38 AM

Still waiting for you to cross into Los Angeles someday! Hope your well my old friend from MO.

Catch up again sometime soon-
~ Deadly Lil Who A.O.D.S.~

~ Deadly Lil Who A.O.D.S.~



Oct 29 2008 9:50 PM

CommentYou.com is your One Stop Shop
Click Here to get more at CommentYou. com

Image Hosting at Photobucket
Claude Stuart

Claude Stuart



Oct 15 2008 9:32 AM

RIGHT NOW.....Are you smoking and staring at trees, or hiding in somebody else's bush?
Ab

Ab



Oct 8 2008 1:42 AM

I'm watching Friday the 13th in order, too! What do ya know?
Jamie

Jamie Evans



Oct 13 2008 6:28 PM

MATT!!!!!!!!! Whats up boy? Remember in High School when I flipped that penny (and honestly never could actually succeed at flipping one) but the one time it hit you right in the eye? hehehe... Sorry about that.
I miss ya! Hope everything is great with you!
Gloria

Gloria



Oct 7 2008 1:27 AM

Hey Matt! Sorry I missed your departure...you're funny.
:)
Carrie, Carrie quite contrary...

Carrie, Carrie quite contrary...



Oct 1 2008 3:21 PM

Hello Matt! You were the star of my dream last night. I was watching a movie/actively participating in the movie.. you know how dreams are. I ran into you in a crowded bathroom while you were signing up for some college classes... and you looked at me with no recognition for about 10 seconds before you barely acknowledged me. I was crushed. :( And then onward the dream goes.. But all of that aside.
Did you know I am in New Jersey now which is about 4 hours away from you? And that my dear is a totally doable road trip for one or both of us!
THE ARCHIVER

THE ARCHIVER



Oct 1 2008 5:33 AM

Thanks for the add. I hope you enjoy the music.
-Jeremy Michael
Scott

Scott Allen



Jul 9 2008 12:08 PM

whats all this i hear about pico?
Ender

Cody Walker



Jun 23 2008 2:46 PM

Damn. You posted the status I was going to before I could. I salute you sir and I salute everyone's favorite counter-culture philosopher today.
Jim Short

Jim Short



Jun 22 2008 4:07 AM

thanks amigo......it is indeed a good looking poster/postcard. Trying to promo my shows here in SF. Everyone gets one, while supplies last.

Boston treating you well? Tired of lobster yet?
In The Wake FREE RINGTONES!

In The Wake FREE RINGTONES!



Jun 4 2008 8:23 PM

thanks Matt! you funny man you
Tyler Snodgrass

Tyler Snodgrass



May 12 2008 10:32 PM

Hey Matt, thanks again for all of your help. I hope you had a great birthday and a safe move.
Don't be a stranger! Good luck!
Leighton Warren

Leighton Warren



May 8 2008 11:44 PM

Holy Shit! Matt Allen is the Worst! and i'm totally Not Coming to His Crappy Show Tonight!
♥ing life with him

Desiree' French



May 8 2008 10:25 PM


Sexy Comments & Profile Graphics

JUST WANTED TO SAY HAPPY EARLY B-DAY AND GOOD LUCK WITH ALL YOU DO!!
.sam walker.

Sam Walker



Apr 30 2008 5:57 PM

I will be there!
Tyler Snodgrass

Tyler Snodgrass



Apr 29 2008 5:12 AM

The poster looks awesome! Did you make that yourself?
Tyler Snodgrass

Tyler Snodgrass



Apr 13 2008 6:00 AM

Hahaha that's hilarious! I recently saw one that said "Jesus is the reason for the season." Which is fine I suppose...except that it was March.
The Scrawny Pale Guy

The Scrawny Pale Guy



Mar 31 2008 7:21 PM

Hey Matt... Hadn't checked in for some time... Been busy producing... Hope you're doing well!

Cheers from Hollywood,
Tim aka TheScrawnyPaleGuy
The Dirty Blondes

The Dirty Blondes



Mar 7 2008 9:09 PM

DIRTY BLONDES LIVE @ PATTON ALLEY!

THIS SAT. NIGHT!!! (10:30ish)

Let's show those hippies how to rock!
(plus they've got great beer there too)
The Dirty Blondes

The Dirty Blondes



Feb 6 2008 5:29 AM

RAN’S BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANZA 2008!
@ THE OUTLAND

featuring
THE DIRTY BLONDES
SOUND AND SHAPE (Nashville, TN)
PILOT WHALE (CD release!)

THIS FRIDAY! FEB. 8TH
10pm, 21+, bring me a present
COMEDIAN JAY DEE

COMEDIAN JAY DEE



Jan 21 2008 5:55 PM

I have 2 very insightful,fullfilling, and somewhat life-changing words for you:
1.)Fuckin
2.)Cloverfield
The Dirty Blondes

The Dirty Blondes



Jan 11 2008 3:29 AM

First show of the year
THIS FRIDAY NIGHT @ THE OUTLAND!!!

THE DIRTY BLONDES
THE DISSAPONTMENTS
ANGRY PANDA

10pm, 21+

It's business time.
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