Robert is a young entertainer who has his eye on success and that piece of cake thats sitting on the table.
Robert left his roots in Fort Worth, Texas and moved to the Bay Area to attend college at Stanford University. I was continuously mistaken for a cafeteria worker. It was very insulting, because I was a janitor, not a dishwasher! When not cleaning up after drunk, rich white kids, he pursued stand-up comedy in San Francisco and Oakland. He beat out 60 other Bay Area comedians to win the local Brainwash Comedy Competition. Robert was so thrilled by the prize package of a hat, t-shirt and gift certificate that he continued to perform throughout college.
Having worked as a security guard during his college summers, Robert aspired to be a full-time security guard once he graduated. Unfortunately, a football back injury squashed this dream. After my security guard job fell through, there was nothing left for me to do with my Stanford degree but be an entertainer. Since then, Robert has been a hit on the comedy festival and competition scene. He was a national semifinalist for Comedy Centrals Laugh Riots and a national finalist in the Laugh Across America Competition, where he performed during the Las Vegas Comedy Festival.
Martinez is also a favorite on nationally broadcast stand-up comedy television shows. He’s appeared on the nationally syndicated hit show Live in Hollywood and the extremely popular Latino Laugh Festival: The Show, which airs on the SiTV network. You may have also heard Robert on the airwaves as a featured comedian on XM Satellite Radio and Premiere National Radio Network.
As an actor, Robert will be seen in the upcoming horror flick "Little *ucker: The Last True Party Animal. He can be seen all over television. He has appeared on ER, America’s Most Wanted, and Jimmy Kimmel Live!. You may also see him battling his way to the finals on the new MTV competition show, "Yo Momma" hosted by "That 70’s Show" star Wilmer Valderrama, hitting people with clever "yo momma" jokes. His commercial career has also been very lucrative, having appeared in numerous commercials including national commercials for Target, Playstation 2, Sprint, Star Wars: Battlefront video game, Comcast Cable, and Eastwood Insurance, as well as regional commercials for Normandie Casino, Dodge, and the Oakland A’s. You may have caught Robert on the wireless front, as one of the hosts for Comedy Time, comedy programming that airs on MobiTV.
Whether it is film, TV, radio, stage or wireless, Robert is ready to entertain and make you laugh. The only thing that can deter his career is that piece of cake on the table. Seriously, get me some milk.
Ellen Degeneres, Chris Rock, Bill Cosby, George Lopez, Dave Chapelle, Kevin James and Patton Oswalt.
Members
SAG - Financial Core (so I can do union and nonunion work! whatever puts money in the pocket!)
TV Shows
ER, America’s Most Wanted, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, SiTV’s Latino Laugh Festival: The Show, Live In Hollywood, MTV’s Yo Momma, tv commercials: Sprint, Target, Playstation 2, Star Wars Battlefront Video Game, Eastwood Insurance, Oakland A’s, Dodge, and Normandie Casino.
Films
Little Fu*ker: The Last True Party Animal as Rubin.
Various short films.
Robert Martinez's Interests
General
Bondage, S&M, Midgets...oh wait, not my porno interests? my bad, i'm so embarrassed now. Um, I like sports, videogames, acting and laughing. Oh...I also read...Maxim and FHM, magazines like that, and occasionally a book. As long as the book has pictures. Lots and lots of pictures...of naked women...jk...ok i'm not kidding...I also am interested in television: watching television, being on television, anything to do with television. One thing I don't like is nature. Being outside sucks. I prefer air conditioning.
Music
Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, 98 Degrees...oh wait, we're still not talking about my porno collection? Fine! I like hip hop and r&b. But that's not very original. So I like my hip hop and r&b with chocolate sauce...though my CD player isn't very fond of this combination.
Movies
I love the upcoming horror flick that I’ll be in, "Little *ucker: The Last True Party Animal." I like all movies except for the ones I auditioned for and didn’t get. I hate those movies and hope they bomb. I like movies like The Notebook that make you cry and feel all sappy because then I can point and laugh at you and call you a crybaby as the security guard escorts me out of the theater.
Television
I like all the tv shows that play any commercial that I’m in. Because that means I’m getting paid! CHA-CHING! I love these two shows called "Live in Hollywood" and "Latino Laugh Festival: The Show" because I was on these two shows. You may have seen them if you enjoy watching channels like the WB or SiTV at 1AM Sunday mornings (sigh)...stop laughing at me...:(
And I guess I have to say I kind of like Yo Momma on MTV, sort of, even though they made me look bad. It still gave me national exposure.
Also I LOVE ER!!!! It’s the BEST show EVER! And I’m not saying that because costarred in one of the episodes this past season... Episode 5 "Ames v. Kovac" in case your interested...
And, and... I love the Jimmy Kimmel Live! show since I was on it and America’s Most Wanted...if they ever air my freakin episode!
Books
Huh? Books? Are you serious? I enjoy books on tape and cookbooks. Actually I love James Patterson and Stephen King. No, seriously, I LOVE James Patterson and Stephen King, they are so sexy. Haha, jk. But why do people care what books people like? I'm not trying to start a book club with anyone.
Heroes
My heroes are celebrities who break the law and do what they want, when they want. I'm huge fans of any anorexic/bulemic celebs like Lindsey Lohan and the Olsen Twins. I also like celebs who do lots of drugs and ruin their careers because of it, like 90% of the people you watch on VH1 shows like Surreal Life and "Celebrity" Fit Club. I'm also a huge fan of actors who have made it even though they aren't very talented. Wilmer Valderrama comes to mind. He's famous even though he's an ass who's not funny and has a gay lisp. Now that's living the American Dream.
Everyone on myspace is my hero too. Especially the people with thousands of friends. I want to be a myspace whore too someday. Right now I'm just a myspace undercover freak. In a year I may make it to myspace slut.
Robert Martinez's Details
Status:
Single
Here for:
Networking, Friends
Orientation:
Straight
Hometown:
Fort Worth, TX
Body type:
5' 10"
Ethnicity:
Latino / Hispanic
Religion:
Buddhist
Zodiac Sign:
Aquarius
Smoke / Drink:
No / Yes
Children:
Someday
Education:
College graduate
Occupation:
Actor
Robert Martinez's Schools
Stanford University
Stanford,California
Graduated: 2003
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Communication
Clubs: Stanford Scoop TV Show, Judo
1999 to 2003
North Side H S
Fort Worth,Texas
Graduated: 1999
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
Clubs: Valedictorian, Football, Baseball, Student Government
I'm Robert as you may have noticed. The reason I'm beautiful is because I'm mixed with white, Latino, French and some other stuff. Born in Fort Worth, TX now living in Los Angeles. I graduated from NORTH SIDE HS (Fort Worth, TX) in 1999 and then I graduated from STANFORD UNIVERSITY in June 2003 with a BA in Communication. I am a stand-up comedian and actor. For more info on me, visit my website, www.stanfordcomic.com. It has a complete listing of upcoming shows, pictures, etc. If you're interested in booking me for a gig, hit me up and maybe we can make that happen. To read more of my thoughts and get to know me or for funny stories that are happening to me, read my blogs.
I just moved to LA in 2005, so I'm looking for friends. Wanna be my friend? Please?...
It seems like the cool thing is to give shout outs and thanks to people as if they are winning an award so let's see.. unlike most people I've met lately, I'm not in a frat. I'm not in a sororiety either unfortunately (though I've tried). So I don't need to shout out to any Gammas or NAK's or to any of my "beautiful sisters" from Sigmas or Lambas/Lamdas, however you spell it. I will however be starting my own Fratority for guys and girls, which will include me, my homeboys and lots of girls. The name of it is Busta Nuta Nuta. SKEELEO-WOP-BOP-BAM...that's our chant. But back to my shout outs...I'd like to thank my mom for having me, even though she'll never read this and has no idea what Myspace is. I'd like to thank this girl named Regina from high school who gave bomb ass head and really helped me get through the day, haha. And to Rachel who took my virginity. It was the best five minutes of 6th grade. Also, I'd like to send a shout out to ALLLL of my friends out there, all 4 of you.
If you want to know me or talk to me, hit me up on AOL IM: StanfordComic. Don't im me and ask me to tell you a joke. I'm not a joke whore, I don't be giving it out for free to people I don't know. But I will tell you a joke or two after talking or having sex with you, whichever comes first.
Don't forget to send me a note and make me feel loved and popular. Getting notes on here boosts my self-confidence, haha. Holla!
Who I'd like to meet: This is a trailer for the Latino International Film Festival that I'm in briefly.
I'd like to meet cool people who are rich and always takes their friends on extravagant trips and pays for everything. But if your cool, I guess you'll do (sigh)... ;)
It'd also be nice to meet some more LA people. Maybe some non-entertainers to balance my life out. I like to have get-togethers at my place with friends for drinks, movies, and hanging out. So if you're a fun, laid-back kind of person, you just might meet the criteria!
I'd also like to meet God...or Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba... I'd be happy meeting any of those three...ok, I'm lying... I'd prefer to meet Jessica Biel... I mean come on! Have you seen that ass lately?
I was really bored one day and made a slide show of all the girls that I am determined to date once I make it. It's just a matter of time before all these girls have at least one disappointing night of sex with me!
hey how are you? I am good just wanted to show love and support to your page and to say thanks for the add! Hope your having a good monday take care tttyl :)
I just want to let you know that I have another public art show. Admission is free. All money recieved for my "art works" will go to the "Rainbow Room." A group that helps abused children in Fort Worth. Help me to help those in most need of God's mercy.
