STeeVi WoNDa

This is my bit for the losers that i share my strange life with, they are all a bit geeky, so i've found pic's that make them look as normal as possible. If you see any of them in public, don't point and laugh - its not their fault and their mummys have always told them how special they are...

FOOKIN' LEGENDS:


Paul 'Officer' Turner:

Age: 21
Pokemon Name: Turnernator
Famous for:
- Being a Pig
- Beating Kev & Steve @ the Climbing Frame Challenge
- Farting on Camera
- Fart attacks
- Smelly Farts (that actually slap u in the face)
- Being Fat

Most Likely to be found: "Arresting people"



Kevan "Scum" Groves

Age: 21
Pokemon Name: Kev-a-tron
Famous for:
- Binge Drinking
- Exposing his Arse to the public
- Eating anything with no limits
- Discussing Poo's with people
- Having a fit mum

Most Likely to be found: "asleep on his couch with a half eaten kebab on his lap"



Jon "Boy" Radcliffe

Age: 19
Wrestler Name: Jon-a-tron
Famous for:

- Ability to get wasted on 2 cans of redbull
- Inability to drink alcohol
- Starting Fights in front of Kev's Family
- Driving Safely (lol)
- being in love with Borat

Most Likely to be found: "Driving dangerously"



Matthew "Gumbo" Teesdale

Age: 20
Pokemon Name: Turbo Niptastico
Famous for:

- Eating quicker than breathing
- Drinking inhumane amounts of alcohol
- Being a Turk
- "Cheesy Mouse Get Back In Your House"

Most Likely to be found: "In a pub, drunk"



Name: Leah "Mega Tits" Murray

Age: 11 (lol)
Pokemon Name: "Lanky"
Famous for:

- getting wasted
- throwing up due to high alcohol consumption
- hot mum
- big tits for such a lil lady
- being a crack whore
- seafood sauce fights back in the day!
- being sick all over the bar in a pub

Most Likely to be found: "Chundering in the garden"



My Nan (The ultimate Legend)

Age: around 200
Pokemon Name: El Chiefio
Famous for:

- Calling her son Stephen and her Grandson David (should be the other way around)
- Drinking inhumane amounts of alcohol
- Farting when cuddled
- Giving too much money to people
- Getting shot by Kev and Teesdale with foam bullets
- Giving inspired advice to me such as: "Look after your organs, you only want one set - if you go through life without having to have a heart transplant you've done well" or "Your mum's stressed enough without you being a drug dealer - don't do it stephen, get another hobby like golf"
- Getting wasted on white wine, eating seafood....no i'll stop there, it got messy.

Most Likely to be found: "In the town hall dancing with all the old biddies!"




Llanan "Trout" Williamson

Age: 19
Wrestler Name: Scum-a-tron
Famous for:
- Trying to be posh when she is blatantly a tramp
- spitting in plant pots
- dribbling KFC down herself
- spilling things down her top
- wearing dirty clothes
- as much common sense as she has a penis

Most Likely to be found: "Shopping"



Jade "i can drink half a pint of Jd in 1" Williamson

Age: 20
Pokemon Name: Jubblys
Famous for:
- Fantastic Breasts
- Outdrinking Steve, Kev, Paul and Matt (combined) with ease
- drinking 4 shots of JD in 1 glass
- Having a 14 inch penis
- Being a total sap

Most Likely to be found: "Round Pistoff's being a sap"



Caroline "don't say cu..." Hughes

Age: 19
Wrestler Name: Hughmungawunga
Famous for:
- Not saying the 'C' word
- Being so tall she can nearly reach my shoe laces
- the most legendary Laugh i have ever heard
- knowing every person on the face of the planet
- APPLE JUICE!
- Moaning that i haven't written enough stuff about her
- V tickets (lol ;-))
- blatantly fancies me but is scared to admit it

Most Likely to be found: "Billericay!"



Maisie "i love my sister" ... don't actually no her last name haha
Age: 32
Gangster rapper Name: May-Z
Famous for:
- "Teesdale! can i borrow ya fone?"
- breaking bathroom objects
- being able to hide in matt's pocket
- being really tall
- being a half pint rapper

Most Likely to be Found: "reppin the streets causing bare trouble"


NAME: Stevie Sky
Age: 75
Wrestler Name: Messy Sperm Whale
Famous for:
- Running Naked around carparks
- Strange Text messages
- Getting wasted
- Wierd noises
- Inspired quotes
- breaking cd's
- having a monkey (yes an actual monkey)

Most Likely to be found: "On someones roof breaking roof tiles"



NAME: Sophie "Denzel/Dennis/Denise/cock breath" Denyer
Age: 20
Wrestler Name: Dennis the Meanace
Famous for:
- Having an answer for everything (bint)
- Either drinking tap water or getting to a dribbling state, theres no in-between
- not being able to speak spanish as well as steve
- being wrong
- sniffing pants
- only one brave enough to sing karioke with me on holiday!
- lower IQ than Steve
- likes it in the wrong'un

Most Likely to be found: "Homework Club"



NAME: Alexis "I say c*nt too much" Gale
Age: 21
Wrestler Name: C*ntatron
Famous for:
- swearing
- screaming
- violence
- having a hot mum
- having a hot sister
- living with the fact that both steve and turner have boned her mum
- hitting me with a bat
- buying me food in 6th form

Most Likely to be found: "teaching children swear words"





Caroline "Anyhole's a goal" Joel:

Age: 19
Pokemon Name: Anyhole
Famous for:
- Coolness
- taking pictures of toilets
- having the longest middle finger in the world
- fit sister
- fantastic boobies
- looking innocent, but being violent...no spiteful is a better word
- moaning because steve didnt put her on here earlier

Most Likely to be found: "Drinking Fosters while stroking her Dingo on Bondi Beach"




Lauren "you can't lose" Rogers:

Age: 21
Pokemon Name: Rogertron
Famous for:
- chun dolls
- longest fingers in the world
- RAPE!
- stealing tables
- "You can't lose"
- IT lessons with Mr Cotterhill
- Smoke weed everyday

Most Likely to be found: "on a park bench eating a kebab and playing with her chun dolls"



Finally...Me
Age: 21
Wrestler Name: Stone cold (Sober) Steve Harle
Famous for:
- Swearing unnecessarily
- Being crude
- Drinking silly amounts of alcohol that make him far too drunk
- Exposing himself to old women
- Stealing road signs
- Power Eating Dominos Pizza
- Stitching people up (and getting it on camera! ha!)
- Stealing Naan Bread

Most Likely to be found: "Asleep under a car cover in South Green"