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I remember the first time I made someone laugh, but we won’t talk about my early dating life here. I’ve done stand-up on different continents but never incontinent. Idolized Richard Pryor at a young age because he was more stable than my parents. Left college early (1:45 PM) and began a full time comedy career as soon as I realized that working in the "normal" world was a sure path to addiction and serial killing for me. I enjoy making people laugh because it reinforces my belief that I am in complete control. I think all zoos should have a "Heckler Habitat" where we can watch them fling inane lines and feces at each other. Delusions can be our friends. I can’t be responsible for hurting a prop comic with part of his "act." You’ve got something on your lip.
Web Sitesi
stephenkruiser.com
Etkilendikleri
Richard Pryor, Richard Pryor and Richard Pryor.
Üyeler
If I had "members" I'd be on "MySpace Carnival Freaks."
TV Programları
I show my TV to everyone who comes into my home.
Filmler
Played Pamela Anderson's left breast in "Scary Movie 3." I was heavier then.
Albümler
"Caffeine"-1995
"Live at the Wheezing Urethra"-1999
Stephen Kruiser | İlgi Alanları
Genel
Feigning sincerity. Honestly, I mean that. Running, reading, writing, martial arts, politics, golf, Scrabble, the Los Angeles Dodgers, the Arizona Wildcats, the Pittsburgh Steelers and good conversation. The First AND Second Amendments. Leaving an impression. Looking good in purple. Shaving strangers who think I'm a scientist. Open-wheel racing. Quality "me" time. Getting people confused as to why they're speaking to me yet holding them under my spell. Shiny, happy people. Real coffee. Using the phrase "ad nauseam" ad nauseam. Researching a cure for stupidity. Whorebiscuits. Explaining string theory to the home-bound. Finding the perfect boxer-briefs. SPF15. Reinforcing my reputation as "Hairstylist to the Witness Protection Program." Naked Googling. Singing in your shower. Finding out if irritating people float. Trying to see things from the perspective of others then realizing I'll still be me so, like, what's the use?
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Caddyshack. Holy Grail. Vacation. Anything with a Baldwin, a Sheen or a chimp.
Televizyon
"SportsCenter" "24" "Family Guy" "Deal or No Deal" (I can't help it...)
Kitaplar
"America Alone"-Mark Steyn "The Federalist Papers"-Hamilton/Madison/Jay "Treason"-Ann Coulter "Me Talk Pretty One Day"-David Sedaris "The Death of Right and Wrong"-Tammy Bruce "The Corrections"-Jonathen Franzen "A History of the American People"-Paul Johnson "The Company"-Robert Littell "The Elegant Universe"-Brian Greene
Hakkımda:
Optional cream cheese filling now available! No visible tattoos or piercings but I'm willing to give them to anyone who gets me drunk enough. I am the kind of guy whose name you'll accidentally yell out during sex or an argument-I know I do it ALL the time. Occasionally, I'll sit around with all the lights on and tell people stories to ghosts. I like to keep a chamber orchestra in my pants at all times-the violin both soothes and tickles. I get just as much pleasure from rubbing people the wrong way as I do from rubbing them the right way and I charge the same for both. My secret hobby is Photoshopping pics of President Millard Fillmore. I'm pretty comfortable with my looks but I like my feel even better. My family, friends and therapist all think I am crazy so I have an insanity defense in my back pocket whenever I need it. People want me to be more serious but they never want to help change the bandages. I enjoy being the center of the center of attention. When I venture into a social setting I think that religion and politics are the perfect topics of conversation-it weeds out the pussies. I like to sit at one end of a bar, walk to the other and send myself a drink. I have friends in low places but they're tall so you really can't tell. Many say I have A.D.D. but I don't really pay attention to them. My predilection for not speaking to people for weeks at a time is often mistaken for antisocial behavior. I think your nipples are trying to ask a question. The hills are alive with the sound of music. I'm calling from inside your house. I don't have any full length mirrors in my house because I actually DO want to get out occasionally. If this all sounds a bit over the top you should see what's under the bottom. I don't know what that means either. Mmmmmm...chocolatey. You have NO idea...now run along and talk to others about me. Good or bad, as long as we stay on topic. Gosh, this has been a hoot. Next time you show up bring wine, beer and something everyone can dip themselves in.
Kimle tanışmak isterim: People. Who do things. In places. And someone named "Tabitha." Never met a "Tabitha" before. (All right, I've since met a "Tabitha." MySpace DOES make dreams come true. Now I'd like to meet Salma Hayek. At my place. Soon. Show me what you've got now, MySpace.) As soon as I put that last line up there Salma got pregnant and engaged. So, MySpace, now I want to meet the "Deal Or No Deal" girls. If they all get pregnant and engaged we'll know there's some sort of MySpace curse.
Hello Stephen! I hope this finds you well and in Peace of heart and condition. I have been working on being thankful for the many things in my life, good or bad and to remain committed to my personal happiness regardless of my situation. I have obstacles just like everyone. The difference is I save some sunshine for the rainy days! This allows me to have enough love to share and to work toward global peace. Love, Sonya.
I really appreciate your support and helping spread the word - as a group we can really make a difference! Hope you are doing well and you have a great weekend!
Help support our troops by visiting the Military Troops Calendar Myspace page (on my top friends), www. militarytroopscalendar. com or my Myspace page and click the Paypal button. Proceeds go to the Fisher House, Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund and allow us to send the calendars to the troops serving overseas free of charge to thank them for their service to our country. Our goal is to send 17,000 overseas within the next couple weeks. Thank you for your support!
This birthday message is posted on behalf of all who join the site, as a TY from the brave for ur support or a TY from those who have shown their support for U being(or have been) one of those who keep us safe & last but in no way least if you made the ultimate sacrifice then this is a TY for that selfless act that caused u to give up all future b'days
we have show bash at the gothic theatre we have denver hotest artists we have Hypnautic, fat lee, BLACK PEGASUS, StrychNine, Gamer Life, to name a few but a packed night
we also working in a car show in Brush Colorado in Octoberfest
a car show in Daimondville Wyoming in early Augest if interested let me know
.....................still looking to party it up in kemmerer, big piney, star vally, evanston wyoming, BRUSH, FORT MORGAN, DENVER, FORT COLLINS, COLORADO salt lake city utah PLUSE MORE IF LIKE TO BE PART OF IT LET ME KNOW
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