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I am the guy that drives the Datsun. I am “Boaty.” I am furthermore known as the “Boatsalesman”, the “Boatmaster”, “Goatman”, “Datserati”, and “Air-Jew”, and “Floatman.” Almost all of the above could be considered an oxy-moron. I will never buy, sell, or use a boat. Nor will I ever be the master of said boat. I hate goats, and I’m not jewish. Hell, I can’t swim and I don’t even float,… shitty much?

Really, my name Steve. I’m just a laid back guy who love cars, computers, and camping. I have the absolute most gorgeous, beautiful, loving, caring, sexy girlfriend ever. She’s mine, not yours, you can’t have her, and she’s prettier than you. I’m not single, so don’t ask. I’m also happy, so don’t make me sad.

I live right here in Grants Pass, and I’ve resided here my entire life. I love camping, and I can usually be found not-in-town during the summer. I grew up practically living two months of every year in eastern Oregon camping, and now it’s stuck with me forever. Peace can seriously be found with a tent, a bed, and a car. You can’t go wrong. FACT: I hate KOA

For some reason lately this has been kind of bothering me. It seems that half of everybody in Grants Pass are stalker-status.. I can’t remember the last day that I drive through town, or I go to Wal-Mart or something and somebody isn’t like “Hey Boaty!”.. and I have no *FUCKING* idea who they are. If it was you, I’m sorry. I’m horrible with faces & names I guess. But in my own little world, I just like to say that I’ve never seen you in my life.

I love Dubstep, Drum n’ Bass, and chill music. I also like rock, and pretty much everything else too. I’m also known as the guy with 14K songs.



I really, really want a garage. I highly intend to hit the lotto some day, and I’ll have my first car for as long as it lives. The Lord Almighty Himself couldn’t pry my cold dead fingers away from it. So please, people, stop asking me if I’ll sell my beloved (and seemingly cute) car.

I’m a social person.
I enjoy talking cars.
I’m a safe driver.
I’ve triumphantly acquired two drag racing tickets.
I won both times.
I build computers.
I built my car.
My “khram” is reserved.
People come to me for help.
I’m hard of hearing.
…what?
I love beagles.
I love taking random drives.
I love snow.
You’ll never find me on a snow-board.
But you will find me doing donuts in the parking lot.
I don’t like morons.
I hate potheads.
Do not preach to me if I can out-smart you.
I’m a shitty motivational speaker.
I love loud music.
See “hard of hearing” above.