StickFight! EP and T-Shirts Now Available at www.GrudgematchRecords.com
StickFight! consists of five dynamic figures, who are often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. They have been known to remodel train stations, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. They translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, write award winning operas and manage time efficiently.
Occasionally they tread water for three days in a row.
They pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed and cook 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes. They are experts in stucco, veterans in love and outlaws in Peru.
Once, using only a large glass of water and a hoe, they defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. They play bluegrass cello, were scouted by the Mets and are the subject of numerous documentaries.
They enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, they repair small electrical appliances free of charge.
They are abstract artists, concrete analysts and ruthless bookies. Critics swoon over their original line of corduroy evening wear. They don't perspire. They are private citizens, yet they receive fan mail. They have all been caller 9 and have won the weekend passes.
Last summer, they toured New Jersey with a centrifugal force demonstration. They bat .400.
Their deft floral arrangements have made them famous in international botany circles. Children trust them.
They once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening.
They know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. They sleep once a week; when they do sleep, they sleep in a chair. The laws of physics do not apply to them.
They balance, weave, dodge and frolic; and their bills are all paid. They have made extraordinary four course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven.
They breed prize winning clams. They have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff diving competitions in Sri Lanka and spelling bees at the Kremlin.
They have all played Hamlet, performed open heart surgery and have spoken with Elvis.
