Storm Large - Mouth
Hotrod Davey Nipples - Bass
Jimmy Jamms Beaton - Keys
Brian Boom-Boom McFeather Parnell - Drums
Storm, cancer, double jointed, likes long walks on the beach and porn. Kinda big for a girl, very sweet but volatile. Never touch her unless you know her very well - she took down two frat boys, a CPA and a caterer when one of them put his finger on her back to read her tattoo. It took a few whacks with a golf club and whole can of bear mace to finally break it up.
Davey, aries, Italian, finds the misfortunes of others hilarious and he loves lima beans. He was a founding member of the Portland institution, Sweaty Nipples, then went on to be touring guitarist for Everclear before slinging bass for The Balls. This old fashioned daddy believes that blowjobs ARE cheating, but it's ok to scare a girl until she starts crying while in a relationship.
Jammer, pisces, vegan, vegan, vegan, likes em' small. Also a survivor of the Everclear camp, Jimmy Jamms is a sweet natured soul with a heart as big as his hairy back. Though he is vegan, I've seen him do things to a chicken that made me wonder. ...and boys, when the Jammer's around, watch your women. I saw him steal four girls at one party. This bald little lover's a cock block extraordinaire.
Boom-Boom, taurus, soft spoken, likes Robitussin and burning things. It's really all about Brian. Silent but deadly man of mystery. He's worn the same shoes for seven years. Never look at his neck.
Influences
Lenny Bruce, Dave Chappelle, Mandarin cosmopolitans, chicks and hot cheese.
Sounds Like
Take one Mike Patton with boobs, crush in a sprig of Nina Hagen and a dash of ham. Put a dress on it and tell it to be nice. It won't, but it doesn't hurt to ask.
Best Of Portland
by Byron Beck for Willamette Week
Any band with the word "balls" in its name should be, well, ballsy, and one-of-a-kind torch singer Storm Large and her three-man backing band the Balls don't disappoint. The commanding, 6-foot blond vixen cleverly twists rock and heavy-metal hits, American classics and everything in between into absurd and poignant renditions best described as loungecore. In Storm's world, Abba and Iron Butterfly coexist harmoniously in "Abba-Gadda-Davida," and it's perfectly normal to revisit Metallica, the Cramps and "The Star-Spangled Banner" in one raucous evening. Of course, it doesn't hurt that Storm's Balls consist of skilled ex-members of Everclear and Motherload.
The Balls are crazy, sexy punk rock jazz. They run the gamut of live metal mash-up to heart wrenching torch songs. The band is super tight, and Storm could be Charlize Theron's big ex-con sister who will scare you into loving her forever.
I got cut off...so Part II, of my dandy little message. Here goes... After missing last year's holiday show, because of the ridiculous fucking snow (i love snow, but I mean c'mon! we had 3 1/2 feet - & were snowed in for 3 weeks. argg!)-- there was NO WAY I was missing this year's show!! I was completely ready to tough it out. And I want you to know there is NO ONE else I would have done that for. Not Madonna. Not the Eagles. Not Green Day, or Linkin Park. NONE of the classic bands, or ANY of today's hottest, most successful bands. Nope, I would have sold my tickets, or given them away or something, but I wouldn't have made the post surgery effort for anyone but you. Also think you should know...I introduced my sister to your rock star awesomeness awhile back, and now she's hooked! And she's turned her boyfriend, and her friends on to your music...and everybody's crazy about you, of course! So we've got like a Storm music, pay it forward kind of deal going on. Oh, and my sister and her boyfriend are flying in from Vegas, for Thanksgiving, your show, and my surgery. Guess which one they're the most excited for, and can't stop talking about? I'll give ya a hint...6 ft. tall, would look stunning-even covered in slugs, performs like she's on fire, and sounds as good-if not better, live? Uh, yeahhh! 'Nuff said. :) We're all really looking forward to friday night, because you're so phenomenal, it's sick!! I don't think ANY of us are going to be able to sleep the night before! We're so psyched to see you & ring in the holiday season STORM STYLE!! Now all we have to do is drape ourselves in mistletoe, and figure out how we're going to get close enough to the stage. *wink* Can't wait to celebrate and have some fun with you on friday night! Happy Thanksgiving. Take care. With WA Love, Vegas Love, Mistletoe-EggNog-Roasted Turkey-Holiday Love, Danielle-Stacey-Rob XOX
T-minus 12 hours and counting until we arrive in Portland (from Las Vegas) and pretty much head straight to your show!! :) My sister (Danielle-who leaves myspace msgs often) turned me onto you, your band and your AMAZING sound/music!! She flew me up for one of your last 'Crazy Enough' shows in May...and I have not shut up to anyone about how incredible and talented you are!! Your fan base in the LV valley has totally blown up!! :) We all just love you! I've recruited my boyfriend and a gf from San Diego to join us for tonights' festivities!! :) We've been eagering waiting for our NW visit...the holidays with our NW family and friends...but DEFINITELY for your kick ass show!! My sister was expected to have major knee replacement surgery a few days before tonights' scheduled show...but the crazed fanatic that she is (that we all are) she pushed back her surgery so that we would/could catch your show and be able to enjoy ourselves!! Talk about dedication and love for you, The Balls and your talent/music!! :) This will be my second time at one of your shows....looking forward to MAAANY more in the future!! You are absolutely stunning and amazing!! Keep everything up....have a wonderful holiday season and KICK ASS TONIGHT AT YOUR SHOW!!! :) -Stacey
Hey there gorgeous...how's ya's doin'? ;) FIVE, count 'em, FIVE days, 'til your big kick ass holdiday bash...and I'm SO PSYCHED!!! I'm so excited, I could pee myself...but I won't, 'cause I'm a big girl. :)P Alright, if you're not already, get cozy, 'cause I'm gonna tell ya a little tale...and it goes like this. Once upon a time...about two months ago, in a little northwest river "village", I saw the village's leading "healer", because my knees are toast, and they make disturbing noises that creep people out, which provides me with hilarious entertainment...but are rather painful. So, TOTAL replacement surgery was scheduled for BOTH knees, and off I went on my merry way. TWO days later, an amazing "minstrel" from a neighboring village, also by a river, announced the show dates for her next performance. The performance, was to be only 17 days after my surgery, and I feared the healer's "potions", would make it hard for me to remember...the entire night. I decided to take action, and I immediately sent word. After much correspondence between me and the healer's apprentice, a new surgery date was to be. Relieved and elated, I danced a little jig (albiet rather sad...'cause the knee thing) around the room. Now I patiently wait for the great show to come. And peace, happiness, and love of great music prevail in the kingdom, and all is well. God save, rock n' roll. The End.
The moral of the story...don't let ANYTHING get in the way of seeing Storm Large!! Seriously, NOTHING!!! I'm really happy I was able to change the surgery date, because I think this will be easier, but I want you to know, if they didn't change it, I would have come anyway. Sixteen days after surgery, 14 days after I would have got out of the hospital, wobbily, tired, drugged up, and against doctor's orders...I WOULD HAVE been there!!! After missing last
8 miles wide video/song is a masterpiece! Wow, just watched video for first time, and I am pleasantly speechless. Regards, Rick Scott www.rosecitymusicgroup.com
Hey, Storm!! I just wanted to stop by and thank you for sharing your stories and magnificent voice with us. I have been performing several of your songs at our Sunday show at C.C. Slaughters nightclub and the audience eats it up! "8 Miles Wide" is one of their favorites. Lately, I've added "Put it in, Pull it out", "I want you to want me", "Tainted Love", "I want you to die", and "Ladylike". After I saw your show, Crazy Enough, the first time, I had to bring my mother.
Happy Friday the 13th!! I hope you were able to avoid all hockey mask wearing homicidal maniacs today! Unless of course you're into that, and then I guess, go get 'em?! Go forth and frighten?! The bloodier the better?!! lol. I don't know. Happy Friday the 13th!! The only part about this day that I care about, is that it's exactly 2 WEEKS from, "Storm's Holiday Ordeal." I CAN'T WAIT!! I've been waiting for this show since the date was announced. And I've been dying to see you perform again, since I saw you in May, for "Crazy Enough". You're always amazing, and I know this years holiday show will be no exception. Kick ass and full of fun, you and your troupe o' talent, is definitely the best way to kick off the holidays! Hope all is groovy and copasetic in your life. Take care, and see you soon!! Still with lots of love, Danielle
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