Drool
Droo Smellner
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What, five dollars? Get out of here!
Male
28 years old
Wasilla, ALASKA
United States
Last Login: 11/27/2009
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Drool's Interests
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| General | Dipping my bottom over and over into a bath of the silkiest oils and creams! | | Music | Ted Leo, Two Gallants, Loudon Wainwright III... I feel like if I start I'm not going to stop. | | Movies | There's really only two movies worth mentioning: Rock'n'Roll Nightmare and The Poseidon Video | | Television | My television viewing is often limited to compromises with my son. I talk him into watching Spongebob instead of Power Rangers and feel like I've won. But mainly I've lost. My son always wins. | | Books | I don't read books. At least not recently. I subscribe to so many news magazines it's tough to keep up, let alone start a book. And I have a tough time these days reading fiction. News somehow seems more important. I suppose it's still true that my favorite authors are Tom Wolfe, Hunter S. Thompson, Kurt Vonnegut, Chuck Palahniuk Gogol and Joseph Heller. But I haven't read any of them in ages. | | Heroes | Scottie Ramsey. One day I hope to follow his lead and run from the police in a stolen motorhome, get the tires popped, run into a supermarket, hide in the back room behind a pallet load of vegetables, get my leg tazed, pretend I'm unconscious, get wheeled out on one of those flat-bed shopping carts, then drink filthy puddle water in the parking lot in an attempt to prove the tazer has fried my brain. |
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Drool's Details
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| Status: | In a Relationship | | Orientation: | Straight | | Hometown: | Anchorage Alaska (who said Houston? jerkass...) | | Body type: | 3' 7" / Body builder | | Religion: | Scientologist | | Zodiac Sign: | Taurus | | Smoke / Drink: | Yes / Yes | | Children: | Someday | | Education: | Grad / professional school | | Occupation: | Newspaperman | | Income: | Less than $30,000 |
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Drool's Schools
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University Of Southern California
Los Angeles, CALIFORNIA
Graduated: N/A
Student status: Alumni
Major: Print Journalism
Clubs: Future Hacks of America, Citizens United to Obfuscate Truth, Students Against Feelings of Sympathy, Aspiring Tools of Law Enforcement, Instructor: How to Exploit Misery for Career Advancement and Personal Gain.
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2003 to 2005 |
Colgate University
Hamilton, NEW YORK
Graduated: 2003
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Philosophy
Clubs: WRCU (librarian)
Trotskyite Punting Society (anchor)
Playground Games (instructor)
Drinking and Yelling Intramural League (champion)
Skeptics! Fan Club (undersecretary)
Phi Beta Kappa (just kidding, where's the tequila?)
Students for Social Justice (an excuse for social drinking)
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1999 to 2003 |
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Drool's Companies
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Pudsterdrool, LLC
Los Angeles, Seattle, London, Berlin, Moscow, The Great American West and "The Lesser Continent" US
President
Divisions are for pansies
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1927- present
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Drool's Latest Blog Entry
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Names IV
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Jury Watch
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Wigglesworth Update
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Sarcasm overload
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Oh how I have dreamed of this day...
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Drool's Blurbs |
About me:
Places I've puked:
Hamilton, New York: on the dancefloor of the shittiest bar in town just as the DJ was warming up.
Hamilton, New York: In the front garden of my rented college house, a garden we utilized mainly for puking and which never sprouted. I had just lost a (rigged) drinking contest to my little sister.
Seattle: On a bus while leaning my head back. I briefly resembled a disgusting, incredibly befouled fountain statute.
Scotland: On a garden wall that was likely older than American democracy.
Russia: On the green Metro line's last run of the day, very non-chalantly while my friend was distracted. Afterwards, I pretended to sympathize with the shock and disgust of passengers who entered at each new stop.
Russia: Between cars on a train to St. Petersburg.
Russia: In a Vladimir hotel bathroom surrounded by broken glass that I believe I'd broken.
South Africa: in a bathroom stall, having downed a fishbowl-sized cocktail, not two hours after landing at the airport.
Anchorage: In Roger's bathroom the day before Christmas Eve the past two years (can someone say tradition?)
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Who I'd like to meet:
A meth lab operator. One who's missing teeth, whose face looks like the surface of Mab, (that moon they found rotating around Uranus), who has constant nose bleeds, visible track marks and a rap sheet long as the list of lives he's broken. Or one of these young men who go on crazed crime sprees, robbing gun stores, stealing motorhomes and trooper badges and spreading other drug-fueled mayhem I end up reporting on. Mainly because I could get a good story out of them. Non-professionally I'd like to meet Joseph Stalin, Hawkeye Pierce and Kurt Vonnegut.
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| Drool's Friend Space (Top 7) |
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