First of all, Happy New Year to you too :D I will go back to my DA page as soon as my art year is over and I feel... ready to deal with my work. But things are getting better yes :) My sketch book is improving everyday and I have a project nearly finished. I don't know if I already told you about this one so I'll briefly sum it up : it's about taking pictures of the monitors, when I'm in the CCTV's way. I have 67 pictures for now... subway, schools, shops, banks, fast foods and even a church ! You probably might have guess I wanted to drop the diapers and sewing on intimate feminine artefacts so I found a way to tell a lot more by dealing with the CCTVs. I take pictures of the monitor in a "private place" that films my "personal life", displayed public... and they claim it' for my safety ! Excuse the weak words but I am in a week of exam at the time so my mind is very blurry. Anyway, this CCTV project is improving everyday that passes by (will show you a preview if you wish :) ), even if poeple tend to get paranoiad since there was dynamite placed in a french shop, and it has open new doors to me : I was thinking about, as uneasy as it may sound, painting missing children in a very big format, because their image are well-know and, despise that, their are only existing through the picture. And painting their portrait would notify this fragile feeling of having lost them. What will remain of us while we're dead ? Only pictures, fraile images that are unable to define our true-us. (I talk really bad tonight, sorry). However, I hope you have understood that I was dealing w/ omni-surveillance and it's loss of identity. Will gladly hear your point of view on all that :D Best wishes again and I will take a look at all your new projects as soon as I find the time.
2/2 I also have engraving lessons but I can seem to find a subject that would use the quality of carving... smoke ? hair ? still looking... I also wanted to start a series of painting based on some scenes of "Les chants de Maldoror", something I've always yearned to do but I think they don't want us to end up just "illustrating" an idea, not in the meantime. So, as you can see, I have a great amount of work to achieve but the good thing is my terrible result to the food subject (I forgot to tell you, I was in the pile of "really crappy subjects" and that they were about to show my work to every student, as a bad example) didn't drive me down, I just wanna do better and more... and maybe, in some strange way, they were right, it was time to evolve and do something new :) Sorry for this egocentric comment, tell me about your work too !
1/2 Well I had the result for the food subject on friday. I had 1 out of 20, which would be something like F- or in other words, the lowest mark you can have. They wrote it was time for me to "get out of my world" and that the work was "useless". We all ended up with terrible marks but a few of artworks which used sex or gory effects ended up nearly worshiped. I felt really bad when I heard my result but I've really calmed down since then and I'm ready to start new projects and maybe push myself this time, into asking them more what they think about them... They are extremely hard on us and really mean but I guess they want to eliminate the weak to keep only the best of us :/ So... here are some works I wanted or will work on in the next few days : For the book we had to do based on the "No man's land" subject I was thinking about doing something about the subway, this labyrinthic place, crowed with humans that are perfect strangers to each other and that accomplish the very same path everyday but are blind to other people (musicians, homeless etc). It sounds pretty crappy said like this, but I want to emphasize this paradoxical aspect of the subway : overflowed with people that are in their own shells. I also have to work on "Bestiary in volume" and as I wasn't able to do the anti-specism subject I wanted for food, I was thinking about doing it now (especially because lots of students are gonna use animal skin/organs etc for that work :( ) : as a bestiary is composed by fantasy and normal animals I wanted to use only man/animal figures (centaur, mermaid etc) and every time add some sort of accessory : saddle or a hook for example. I've started sketches for this work and it could look well but I've always hated working in volume so it promises to be a hell to create.
Thanks a lot for caring about my Food subject. Sadly enough, it turned out catastrophic and I used the Butterfly effect piece with some modifications (I know... what a crappy cheater I am). Since then, I've felt extremely weird and bad about myself and have been unable to create anything at all. I can draw some stupid still life but I'm in front of this giant void whenever I have to be "creative" and sadly enough I have several works to give back next week and all I want to do is crawl under my sheets and hide, when I despite cowards :/ I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with myself and for some strange reason, it has nothing to do anymore with the teachers' comments but it's like I was embodying this great artistic failure and each single one of my attempts to create something was reminding me I am in the wrong section. I apologize for commenting back with such a dramatic tone and I hope to show you new stuffs in a few days, when I will feel confident again. Thanks again for your concerns and I'm looking forward to seeing your works :D
Ah well, I've decided I would still keep that subject and do as well something based on the greek myth about Tantale, this man trapped in the ancient Hell and incapable to reach or eat all the food that flows by, in front of his eyes. I am indeed upset by all this story and that's probably why I'm having so much damn trouble to actually start those works ! Only 3 days left now and I'm feeling mentally exhausted and amazed to see the teachers are actually waiting for us to come up with really simple ideas and are not into a too personal work... Now I'm just looking forward to the end of the week and being able to relax, not that I'm tired but because I'm feeling really tensed and lacking of confidence...
Quick comment to let you know how the teachers received my idea of the "food" project : they made fun of me in front of everyone because, according to them, there is no debate, animal are raised to be eaten and that is nothing to add to it... and me doing a fat lady is disrespectful to over-weighted people (!!!!????). One of the teacher even laughed at me asking why I wasn't upset when someone ripped out a flower (I replied plants didn't have a nervous system to feel pain nor a mind) from the ground... I left school hurt but not in some personal way, disgusted to have heard the animal condition was "motionless" and wasn't even a problem ! Now, I only have 4 more days to do my work and now, more than ever, I've decided I should proudly do that work, whatever the teachers say because for me, it is matter to debate !
You made a really good point about PETA's undercover videos because there is a growing polemic about them being passive when filming animal abuse in farms and such and so on, not trying to stop the slaughter... (I, of course, disagree with that view point since at PETA it can't be questioned we improve everyday the animal's condition). I asked myself the same question when I saw a so-called animal activist artist do a reversal cat / dog bag using REAL stuffed animals... I'm not even hoping this work we'll turn out alright or have a good rating now... I just wanna be honest with myself and continue that anti-species fight through painting too... I would feel even more guilty quitting that work for the only reason it makes me uncomfortable ! I hope I will have finally reached an agreement with myself on Friday and show you a work I'm proud of.
I didn't think that that "food" subject would take such proportions... I found myself watching PETA videos - I had already seen - about factory farms and animal abuse in the food process and I couldn't stop crying... I'm finding myself in this awkward position, proud of dealing with such a matter and yet selfish using animals' suffering for an art subject... I've started the first piece : the scorched pig and a fat person, a "big fat pig" lying in his sheets... but I'm thinking "Fleur, you're just doing that painting to claim you have convictions"... so, as you can see, I only have 5 more days to do it and I'm not even sure I want to give that work back now...
thank you :))) but my work it isn't even little bit so beautiful and artistic like yours:) i'm just curious how you are finding ideas for your art in your mind? some of them are incredible
Hi, I hope you're ok :) I work, so i don't have the time that i used to have and waist. But i'm looking for a job which could let me afternoons free so that I can make music and photographs.
I'll listen to Jean phillispon later, when i'll be about to hear it well. It's nice to think about me with the music you listen to :) thank you.
Have a good night :)
(I've probably made a lot of english fault :-s Sorry, sorry )
I've finally uploaded a new thing, I couldn't possibly call it a work because I'm not sure where I'm going with it, I just didn't want to leave it in the trash. Will probably add some giant golden butterfly at the top or maybe just rip the head off and start again... I actually like the face but the paper is not wide enough and I can't play with the golden paper as I would have wished... I do have photoshop actually... my problem was to know how to do a good coloring using that software and I've found an helpful tutorial : http://mree. deviantart. com/art/Coloring-Skin-in-Photoshop-29429271 Good luck with your works ;)
That's funny what you say about paint because on my side, I've always found it to be safer ! I can always add more or twist my idea in some unsuspected way, that's exactly what happened with some works I like - a little -, I was starting with a sharp idea and then the use of paint, the quality of this medium pulled me to something else. That's why I want to finally try digital... I shouldn't stay on safe ground :p Actually I think your paintings are as rich as your digital works (and the snaps you took of your videos make me really curious), the one I really like, that you did as an oil, isn't just a plan painting, I can feel the texture... you already are a mixed media artist without even realizing it :D I'm working on the mermaid, got my sister to take naked pics of me in unusual positions because I couldn't find no model, so I hope too, something good will come out of this. But this work is more about my convictions and how I'm still astonished people get moved when you talk about pets suffering but don't give a damn about fishes who slowly suffocate after being fished and feel the pain more than humans do ! Anyway, I talk too much ^_^
I really agree on the necessity to have filters... that would improve everyone's life. Of course uploading pornographic or sexist-racist files are out of subject but I think nudity, especially when it's not free and in an artistic purpose should be tolerated. Thanks a lot for the pic comment ! Sadly enough, the picture isn't even a scan cause the work is really too big (50 x 60 cm) and I still haven't bought a scanner ... It's a shame I can't upload a better resolution because this piece is all about realizing the baby's head emerges out of the material or the compress that eclipses only part of the watercolor hair :/ Hopefully, I will have a new work to show soon because I feel like working on a "Fishing hurts" subject (www. fishinghurts. com). Felt like doing a parodic Little mermaid caught with a hook... not sure what it will look like at the end and I hope my perfectionist side won't tear this work apart as I did for the last fews ;) And I would want it to be digital, but I'm still afraid when I'm not actually using paint :S
Thanks for finding me on myspace ;) I tried putting my so-called nude pictures up but they threatened me off putting my page down because it was too explicit (?!) . They even deleted my painting with the baby because you can see a nipple made with gouache xD Anyway, keep the good work, looking forward to seeing new creations !
thank you :) I'm gonna make music with a friend during the summer. I'm starting tomorow. We are going to record us. 'hope it will sound nice :) I'd like to be inspired...
