THE SUICIDE SHIFTERS ARE:
Nitro Jen [CAPTAIN]
June Carter Crash [CO-CAPTAIN]
Amazon Assassin [CO-CAPTAIN]
Roxie La Roo [CO-CAPTAIN]
Helena de Stroy
V Twin Vixen
Jamie Lee Hurt us
Ol' Dirty Basher
Sweet Baby Jane
Cream8er
Margot Tickinbomb
RAMazon
DoS Attack!
Selma Bodie
Ally Sweet Tips
Anita Riot
PhDiva
G.I. Jenn
In early 2005, a foxy lady known as Motor Lisa was whipping around the track at the Dallas Derby Devils practice. As she skated around a corner, focusing on her cross-over form, her wheels hit an unknown obstacle and she went flying. Motor Lisa landed hard and skidded, screeching across the splintering wood floor. When she came to a stop, she found herself surrounded by the other Dallas Derby Devils, crowding around to see if she was all right. In a daze, she assured everyone that she was fine and shakily stood back up on her skates.
The look of astonishment on the faces of the other Dallas Derby Devils made her uneasy and she anxiously asked, “What? What’s wrong? What are you guys looking at?”
Motor Lisa was bleeding a lot from her fall, even more shocking was that she did not bleed blood like a normal human, she bled gasoline.
The Dallas Derby Devils watched in awe as gasoline pooled around Motor Lisa, eating at the plastic on the wooden floor and filling the rink with fumes.
Suddenly, the sunlight angling in through a vent shifted and lit Motor Lisa up. She fell into a trance, and hair aflame, she lifted off the floor, floating above the gasoline pool, which danced around her wheels. Her mouth opened and from it sprung 18 tongues of flame, forming a circle around her. The Dallas Derby Devils backed up, but were otherwise unable to react. They watched as the 18 flames formed into skaters, dressed in green and black. The mysterious skaters’ shirts read “Suicide Shifters” and bore individual names on the backs: June Carter Crash, Helena de Story, Nitro Jen, Amazon Assassin, Roxie La Roo, Ol' Dirty Basher, Jamie Lee Hurt Us, V-Twin Vixen, Dos Attack, Margot Tickinbomb, Sweet Baby Jane, Ramazon, Ally Sweet Tips, Selma Bodie, Cream8er, Anita Riot, PhDiva, and G.I. Jenn.
Motor Lisa recovered from her trance, the fire and all evidence of the incident disappeared, except for the mysterious skaters and the faint smell of gasoline. She shook her head, as if to clear it and looked around. The rest of the Dallas Derby Devils were awestruck. With a knowing smile, Motor Lisa took off around the track and the newly appeared skaters followed her, establishing the Suicide Shifters.
After a year and a half of leading the Suicide Shifters, the lovely Motor Lisa had to retire. Her flame and fuel were fading. She took NitroJen aside and spit into her palm. NitroJen was confused at first, but realized that it was not spit in her hand, it was gasoline. It heated in her hand and produced a small flame, but did not burn her. Motor Lisa looked at her with that knowing smile then sat to remove her skates. She left the rink that day, knowing that the Suicide Shifters would always be led by strong and loyal skaters.
Times change as does the line-up of the Shifters, just know that those that have come and gone will always be Shifters in our hearts and will always bleed green gasoline... EAT SHIFTER!
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