Likes . . .
Guitar/singing/making and listening to music, sleep, food (not just any food but snobbishly good food), World of Warcraft/fucking around on my computer (but I haven’t WoW’ed in a while, sigh.), sleep, wasting lots of time thinking up clever ways to be more clever, coffee (plain, real coffee- not the foofy crap), forbidden carbs (I love you. Let’s rendezvous later. Our secret *wink*), more sleep, retro, an occasional satisfying sneeze, crap or similar spontaneous bodily function (but not at the same time. Achoo! Whoops . . .), proper use of commas and the addition of semicolons if needed (I fucked up back there, did you notice?), comatose children, painting furniture, making home decor items out of odd materials, class (it’s not a matter of money or appearances- it’s a matter of tact and self respect), reading about crazy shit (and then trying to do said crazy shit), garage sailing/thrift store whoring, making up words, people watching, day dreaming of winning the lottery/getting perkier "you knows"/becoming rock star, intelligence, Bollywood, grown-up activities that we shouldn’t really be discussing in such a public fashion (can range from low impact to high intensity), writing, bugging the crap out my dog, subversiveness/anarchy (except in people that I expect to listen to me), playing practical jokes on the kids and making them cry, eating/cooking/discussing/ fantasizing about really good food, not spilling liquids on my keyboard, psychoanalyzing everyone (and being totally right), urban dictionary, experimenting, a house that smells good (and not like girly, flower bullshit either) and . . . uhh . . . more sleep.
Annoyances . . .
Most people in general, Chicken Soup for the soul-esque bullshit, mass consumption of alcohol and/or really bad drugs, narrow-mindedness, toilet paper lint, organized religion (or even organized anti-religion), clutter (unless it’s functional and feng shui), girly sparkly shit, online dating websites, automatic transmissions, improper grammar/English usage, laziness in others, people who complain when I’m being lazy, hypocrites, carpeting, violence, bad tattoos, eggplant, therapists, country music, comments from apps (I will delete them as I find them incredibly tacky so please don’t leave me those-- or sparkly blingee roses with a naked chick on a Harley that says “just showing some sexy love,” items in that genre will kiss it as well.), cat vomit, fake boobs/tans/nails/ditzy bleach blondes, thinking inside the box, fishy tasting fish, suburbia, television (all mainstream media really), bad cheese, going to the doctor, putting air in my tires (it confuses me and I keep letting all the air out), prudes, prunes, most perfumes, Nickleback, the same old dry wheat toast day in and day out. . . I really could go on and on.
Music
Adam Ant, Air, Ani DiFranco, Anoushka Shankar, Arctic Monkeys, B52's, Basement Jaxx, Beck, Bjork, Frank Black, Black Sabbath, Blink 182, Bob Rivers (christmas), Broken Social Scene, Butthole Surfers, Cat Power, Circle Jerks, The Clash, Coldplay, Cranberries, The Creatures, The Cure, Dashboard Confessional, Dead Kennedys, Dead Milkmen, Death Cab For Cutie, Deftones, DJ Chicane, Duran Duran, Echo and the Bunnymen, Elastica, Electric Six, Eminem, Emily Haines, Eurythmics, Fat Boy Slim, Flunk, Foo Fighters, Franz Ferdinand, Fugazi, Garbage, Greenday, Heart (Little Queen), Hole, Hooverphonic, Hot Chip, Kaki King, Karsh Kale, Kate Nash, Kings of Convenience, Ladytron, Led Zeppelin, Legendary Pink Dots, Le Tigre, Lemon Jelly, Liz Phair, Madonna, Mash-ups (all of them!), Metallica (old school), Metric, M.I.A., Milk Inc., Moby, Modest Mouse, Monster Magnet, Moodorama, My Brightest Diamond, Natacha Atlas, Nirvana, Patti Smith, Paul Oakenfold, Peter Schilling (yes, I did just say that—one hit wonders FTW), Pinback, Pixies, Portishead, That Dog, The Postal Service, Prince, Prodigy, Rachel Starr, Rilo Kiley, Royksopp, Salt, Sia, Silversun Pickups, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Sleater-Kinney, Smashing Pumpkins, The Smiths, Sneaker Pimps, Sonic Youth, Stina Nordenstam, Styrofoam, Sugarcubes, Suzanne Vega, Tricky, Tori Amos, U2, Underworld, Violent Femmes, Ween, The Whitest Boy Alive, White Stripes, Yaz, and anything Classic Rock, Ambient (as long as it's not too freaky weird), Techno, Downtempo, and Mash-ups. (There are also 50 gabillion others I didn’t list here lol)
Movies
My brain is mush, uhhhhhh . . .pretty much the movies most other people like. We're all sheep, most of us tend to like the same sorts of stuff, right?! I don't like the movies that make me go "WTF was THAT!?!?" when they are over (like Unbreakable-- "water is my kryptonite!" Gak). I like the rest.
Television
Television? What’s that? I honestly don’t watch TV. I don’t have cable or reception. I’d like to think that rather than being a backwards ass dork who is too cheap to pay for cable, that instead I’m living large on the cutting edge. The only thing I watch is the internet. I am not a penny pincher-- I am a calculated early adapter who has embraced the home computer as the sole entertainment hub for the modern household (TV, stereo, DVD player/TIVO, communication center, reference library, game console and interactive dirty magazine). I have fully integrated it into not just my own life but also the lives of my children (except not the dirty part, der). And now I must do my civic and devoted consumerlicious duty to entice the next generation of soon to be addicted users– the early majority (can you tell I was a marketing major? Can we talk product lifecycle?)—into weaving this new technology into the fiber of their everyday existence. Noooo, I am not a miser, I am a savvy consumer . . . and I’m looking out for you!
Below are a few of my favorite web series and single videos. Please watch, get hooked and consider throwing your TV out the window. It’s cheaper, it’s funner (yes, of course that is now a word—go ask UrbanDictionary ), and it’s the wave of the future.
MY 3 FAVORITE WEB SERIES . . .
First off, here is my all time FAVORITE web series (and it’s award winning, Ohhhhh! Fannnnncy!)-- The Guild. It is now in it’s 2nd season and each episode is better than the last. It’s probably funnier to those who play WoW or have played some sort of MMORPG (“massively multiplayer online role-playing game” for those of you still living in the dark ages) but still, even if you have no gaming frame of reference, you will enjoy it. Season 2 is coming to a close now (only one more episode left and I’m gunna be totally left hanging on the edge of my seat till season 3 starts!). I think only season 1 is available on youtube. You can see all episodes for both seasons here on MSN video:
Click here for all episodes of THE GUILD
Episode 1 Season 1 . . . .
Pleased for you to crap hands and cheering for Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show!
There are bunches of episodes. This is episode #1 . . .
Your butt smells like a fart! Retarded Policeman also has tons of episodes (my personal fave is #15, Season 1—Assburgers Syndrome). Here is the very first episode (they do get funnier too). Love it!
A FEW OF MY FAVORITE STAND ALONE VIDEOS . . .
Awesome crank call:
Fun with Mr. Rodgers:
News bloopers . . . they always make me pee a little . . .
And last but not least . . . I’m a chick. I can’t help but have my hormones interfere every once and a while and make me like some deep, fuzzy crap. The pink foofy estrogen in me had a hair pulling, face scratching bitchfight with the boot stomping feminist in me and the liking of the following videos was the result. I suppose though, in the scope of the deep and fuzzy universe, these are still pretty enjoyable so it’s really not all that bad. I could be posting Hello Kitty, something about Jesus or a Lifetime TV-esque slide show about bulimia that plays to “Run Away Train.” I guess I even like my poetry a little hard core. So here’s some Def Poetry I’m partial to . . .
And please, if you have a good video or web series to share— pass it along!
Books
Murder, mystery, blood, guts, gore, serial killer, thriller, Stephen King, Patricia Cornwell, etc. Then and occasional David Sedaris or Laurie Notaro or something for laughy ha-ha's. Then more murder. Oh and my dorky evil twin read all the Harry Potter books and has a sick fascination with nonfiction. NERD.
Heroes
Peopel who can SPELL :)
. . . my little pink Peter!!!
.
. . . the entire cast of Too Close For Comfort. Just . . . because :D
. . . and this guy becasue we ams aww a weedul bit spase peepole. SPASE PEEPOLE!!!!
And These kids-- TOTALLY! (don't play if you have kids in the room or they will wag their finger at you and scream "NO, NO, NO! We NEVER EVER say those words in this house!" I learned this the hard way . . . . but at least now my 5 yo knows that "bitches ain't shit"-- she had to learn sometime)
Really, it's all here in one way or another. I'm just soooo disappointed in myself having just made a dorky, sheep like myspace page that I can't go on blabbing about myself any longer. I suddenly have the urge to slap on some ho make up and take pictures of my cleavage, attach gangsta rap music to my profile and tell you all how "I'm sweet and sensitive and REAL. I like puppies and long walks along the beach at sunset. And babe, U R 2 cool for stopping by. You must be one of my Boyz. You dope, yo." I need to go visit sparklee.com and get some cool gifs of glittery lips, Playboy bunnies and pot leaves. Good lord, I can't believe that I have finally been MySpace-itized!!!! Hold my hair while I puke . . . . .
Guess what!?!? (don't say "chicken butt"). I FINALLY fixed the music! SEE!?!
(UPDATE: everything sucks again and some songs no longer work. Be persistent, go on to the next one. About half of them do play.)
The Bloodhound Gang video I had posted is no longer available, sadface (although the phrases "ham wallet" and "pudding hatch" will live on forever) so I've decided to put up something new. Now, when you watch it you might be a bit taken aback because IT'S NOT REALLY FUNNY. It's actually sort of (gasp) TOUCHING. And *I* posted this? Yes, I know-- I'm beside myself as well. But trust me, you'll like it. It speaks volumes. You'll feel warm and fuzzy and thankful that you found that one or two once in a lifetime, weirdo, bunny hand puppet, doppelganger friends that are just as quirky and fucked up as you are. And if you don’t have any of those kind of friends this might throw you instantly into a bi-polar downswing, so grab your Xanax and proceed with caution.
Also forgive me again because this song would be considered "emo" music which usually makes me want to cut *other* people. I know. IDK what came over me. Maybe it's because I'm on the green pills this week?
Okay, and yeah maybe it *is* kinda a good song, alright?
And I swear to god, if you tell anyone I got all sappy for a second, I'll kick you in the fucking face. I mean it. Just shut up.
P.S. To my couple of once in a lifetime, weirdo, bunny hand puppet, doppelganger friends that are just as quirky and fucked up as I am-- thank you (you shall remain nameless but you know who you are. Heh-- now I have 40 top friends POSITIVE that it's *them*). I promise I'll stop doing stupid things and making you crazy having to hear about it. And I'm also thankful that you know me so well you can instantly spot when I'm full of shit.
..
Who I'd like to meet:
LESLIE!!!!!!
GEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMM SWEATER!!!! . . . Here is a new Leslie video -- we've all seen Gem Sweater a gabillion times (and if you haven't, shame on you-- go youtube it stat!). Pump up your shitty PC speakers, flip it on full screen and get NASTY!
Here's my dog, Peter. See(and hear)him speak English. Seriously. He's brilliant. BRILLIANT I TELL YOU!
New Animal Lover Album...
An Exploration Of Human Beings
Puzzling Relationships With Animals
Click On A Photo
To See Them All aphotographicstudyofmyspace.org
Comments
Nov 25 2009 3:23 PM
Myspace 2.0 layouts
Myspace 2.0 layouts
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see more Epic Fails
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I don't know, I kind of like them.
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see more Epic Fails
Oh, beautiful Great Lakes sister.
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MySpace Comments
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Myspace Comments | Dancewear Online
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Good Mornin and have a sensual Monday
Mike
Nov 15 2009 12:37 AM
Click On A Photo
To See The New Album
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Watch CBS News Videos Online
Not what you think when you think "beaver urinates on woman's face," is it?
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Happy Halloween
APSOM Halloween Album
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Warning:
Disturbing Images
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CLICK PICTURE TO GO TO SACRED CHAO TATTOOS
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New Halloween Album
Click On A Photo
To View The Gallery
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New Animal Lover Album...
An Exploration Of Human Beings
Puzzling Relationships With Animals
Click On A Photo
To See Them All
aphotographicstudyofmyspace.org
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Newly Restored Family
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Click On A Photo To See
The Newly Restored
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Click on a photo to see my
anti-theist propaganda
taken from Myspace users...
http://aphotographicstudyofmyspace.org/albums/index.php
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