"What is worth learning cannot be taught" (Oscar Wilde)... So why the fuck are you trying to analyze me in a paragraph I write online? You want the DL; you want to know me? Well send me a message and stop categorizing, generalizing, and slapping a sticker price on my ass. I don't fit your genre, I'm not in your cliché, and I probably will be a very bad influence on you. Then again, maybe that's just what you want, maybe that's just what you need. Maybe, just maybe, I'm a sarcastic asshole who doesn't really give a rat's ass in the first place. I don't like drama, I don't care who won the Grammy, and I don't think you are cool because of your khaki pants. Reach for the stars; don't try to be one (unless your physician stated you are mostly a burning ball of helium and hydrogen). Your makeup doesn't make you beautiful; the smile on your face with no makeup & sex hair is the hottest I've ever seen you. No, I don't care what shoes you are wearing, I won't notice or comment if they are cute, and I will be extremely torqued if I have to walk less than 1 mph so that you can feel 5" taller (I will admit the calves do look nice though). No, I don't want to marry you in six months, and no, I don't have a financial plan of action to buy a house, buy a new car, have 2.5 kids and a dog... Cats rule! Oh, and if girl's night out constitutes any high pitch squealing at any moment, don't bother. You are not cultured if you consider knowing up-to-date fashion trends & intimate details of celebrities' romantic lives; you are rather boring, dumb, and slightly stalker like. If you live in O.C. and you're not from California, please make reference to this only as a joke; you will be deemed pathetic otherwise. Am I coming across as a dick yet? Good. For those of you that made it this far, here's the lighter side. I'm always laughing, smiling or doing my best not to beat your ex's ass for hitting you. I'm always wild, I'm always crazy and I'll always entertain you... Always. I'll fix your car at 3am with duct tape, zip ties and a pair of needle nose pliers. I like things neat, clean & simple. I like my humor dirty, raunchy & down right funny. I'll be the one person that can make you smile no matter what went wrong. I'll stay up with you all night to help you study for a test when I should really be getting my own homework done. I'm the sweetest guy you'll ever meet (I have quotes from people, I'm not just pulling this shit out of my ass). "Hold me, thrill me, kiss me, kill me" doesn't even begin (U2 lands an applause on that one, I'm not a thief).
| You Are 96% Evil |
 Even the devil is a little scared of you!
(I guess I only look sweet & innocent...
At least the picture matches my page!)
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