Christina robinson

About me:

.. .. ITS NICE TO MEET YOU I AM GLAD YOU STOPPED BY MY PAGE AND ARE TAKING THE TIME TO READ A LITTLE ABOUT ME. PLEASE WHEN YOUR DONE TAKE THE TIME TO SIGN MY GUEST BOOK IT MEANS A LOT TO ME TO SEE MY FRIENDS THAT HAS STOPPED BY -MY MAIN GOAL IN LIFE IS TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT MY LIFE. I WANT MY VOICE TO BE HEARD FINALLY. ABOUT THE SEXUAL, ALCOHOL, VERBAL ABUSE & THE ABANDONMENT FROM MY PARENTS. ALSO THE DIFFERENT MEDICAL PROBLEMS I HAVE TO LIVE WITH EACH AND EVERYDAY NOW-POST TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME,DEPRESSION,PANIC ATTACKS, FIBROMYIGIA,DDD,IC,GERD/ACID REFLUX, & NOW MULTUPLE TUMORS IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BACK ON MY VERTEBRAE & RIBS FOUND IN NOV-2009 I FEEL SO OVERLOADED WONDERING WHEN I AM GOING TO GET A BREAK FROM THIS PAIN MENTALLY & PHYSICALLY AM 42 & on DISABLITY FROM THE TIME I WAS 12 ALL THROUGH MY HIGH SCHOOL YEARS AND MY FIRST MARRIAGE, MY STEP-FATHER HAD TAUGHT ME "SEX" WAS **POWER** **MAGIC** **CONTROL** SO WOMEN IF YOU ARE OUT THERE I WILL SHARE MY STORY AND WE WILL TALK & I WILL LISTEN. I AM TIRED OF HIDING AND FEELING SO ALONE IN THIS PAIN. WE ARE ALL---"SURVIVORS STANDING STRONG" I HAVE COME A LONG WAY THERE ARE THINGS I KNOW I AM GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW THAT NO ONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT-THEY FEEL ASHAMED, GUILTY, THAT IT IS THEIR FAULT- ... BUT I FEEL IF WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT WE WILL LET IT KEEP EATING US UP INSIDE AND DESTROYING OUR LIVES-WE ALL NEED TO KNOW IT IS NOT OUR FAULT FOR THE ABUSE IN "ANY" WAY!!!**** IT IS THE PERPATRATORS!!!! ITS A CYCLE I WANT TO BREAK.AND ALL SURVIVORS NEED TO BREAK THIS TERRIABLE CYCLE.I WANT MY STORY TO BE ALSO ABOUT COPING SKILLS & HOW TO HEAL YOUR BROKEN SPIRIT THAT I KNOW WE ARE ALL SUFFERING FROM IN YOUR OWN WAYS. MY GOAL ON MYSPACE IS TO BE A SUPPORT TO OTHER INCEST SURVIVORS. ANYONE THAT ALSO SUFFERS FROM INCEST OR ABUSE. I AM A 42 YEAR OLD INCEST SURVIVOR. MY HEART YEARNS TO HELP OTHERS.THIS STORY IS ABOUT THE MONSTER WHO SEPARATED MY FAMILY ONE BY ONE, AND RAPED ME,SODOMIZED ME FOR 3 YEARS, MY HANDICAPPED SISTER WHEN SHE WAS 5-8 YEARS OLD , MY NIECE WHEN SHE WAS A LITTLE GIRL, AND GOD KNOWS HOW MANY MORE OUT THERE THAT ARE SUFFERING BY HIS HANDS I DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT. ALSO THE ABANDONMENT THAT HE PUT US THROUGH--ME IN ARIZONA, MY HANDICAP SISTER IN NEBRASKA, AND MY BABY SISTER IN FLORIDA. HE IS THE TYPE OF MAN YOU WOULD GIVE YOUR LAST DIME TO. YOU WOULD NEVER!!THINK HE WOULD DO THE THINGS HE DID , BUT AFTER HE HAD BEEN MARRIED 8 TIMES AND HAS NEVER***PAID FOR ANY ~~~~~~~~OF THE CRIMES HE HAS DONE TO US IT SICKENS ME THAT HE WALKS AMONG US***TALKS AMONG US AND NOTHING CAN BE DONE. BUT SINCE I DO KNOW HE IS STILL DOING HIS SICK DEEDS -I JUST PRAY THAT HE GETS CAUGHT AND HE GETS PUNISHED IF NOT FOR OUR CRIMES BUT ANY JUSTICE WILL BE FINE. JUST AS LONG AS HE IS OFF THE STREETS WHERE HE CAN NO LONGER HURT ANOTHER CHILD. I HAVE WITNESSED SO MUCH IN MY EARLY CHILDHOOD YEARS THAT HAS HAUNTED TILL THIS DAY... MY REAL FATHER PLAYED RUSSIAN ROULETTE WITH ME AND MY BABY SISTERS ONE EVENING ALL I KNEW IS MY DAD HAD A GUN I WAS 4 YEARS OLD MY MOM WAS CRYING AND MY DAD WAS YELLING AGAIN, I HAD NO IDEA ONE OR ALL OF US COULD OF DIED THAT NIGHT. I WILL WRITE MORE AS I GET STRONGER. MY MOM,DAD AND STEP FATHER WERE ALL ALCOHOLICS AND THEIR VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE HAS SCARRED ME FOR A LIFE TIME THAT I AM STILL HEALING FROM TODAY. BUT I AM STRONGER TODAY THEN I WAS YESTERDAY,LAST MONTH OR LAST YEAR. I HOPE THAT GIVES OTHER SURVIVORS HOPE. SO I AM HERE AND WILL TALK IF YOU WOULD LIKE.... ABOUT THE DIFFERENT PROBLEMS I HAVE TO COPE WITH DAILY;MY SEXUAL ADDICTION IS JUST AS BAD TO DEAL WITH AS DRUGS OR DRINKING. WHICH AS OF TODAY I HAVE UNDER CONTROL. I NEED TO ADD THAT MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN A WONDERFUL SUPPORT THROUGH ALL THIS-I COULD NOT HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER SUPPORT SYSTEM THAN WITH HIM. (THANKS BABY!!) I AM HAPPILY MARRIED WITH 8 CHILDREN AND 5 GRANDCHILDREN!! BUT AS A TEENAGER WHEN I FINALLY GOT AWAY FROM MY PEDOPHILE FATHER-AND IN MY EARLY ADULT YEARS IS WHEN THE SEX PROBLEMS WERE OUT OF HAND. I LOOKED AT SEX LIKE COMFORT FOOD. BUT I AM WILLING TO TALK ONE-ON-ONE ABOUT THOSE ISSUES I HAD TO FACE. BECAUSE I KNOW MANY SURVIVORS HAD CRUTCHES THEY TURNED TO - TO HIDE OR TO SHIELD THE PAIN. FOOD, ALCOHOL, CUTTING, "sexual compulsiveness" ECT. SO THATS WHAT I AM ON HERE FOR TO HEAL MY BROKEN SPIRIT AND TO HELP OTHERS HEAL FROM THEIRS. WHEN I HAVE A PANIC ATTACK; SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE NO ONE REALLY LOVES OR ACCEPTS ME OR KNOWS WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH OR EVEN CARES AT THAT MOMENT;I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO STAY ISOLATED; AND THAT I DON'T DESERVE HAPPINESS.WHEN I GET THAT LOW (WHICH IS RARE NOW ADAYS) I GET TO MY SUICIDAL MOMENTS~THE MOMENTS DON'T LAST LONG~BUT I DO FEEL AT THAT MOMENT I JUST WANT TO END IT I HIT THE LOWEST POINT & I JUST WANT TO DIE~AND NOT COME BACK~ITS ONE OF THE SCARIEST FEELINGS TO FEEL. AND ONE OF THE LONELIEST FEELINGS TO FEEL. I SHOULD SEE THE LOVE AND THE HAPPINESS BUT I FIGHT MY OWN SELF--AND THAT AFFECTS MY HUSBAND AND MY CHILDREN. BUT LIKE I SAID I AM STRONGER TODAY- AND I DON'T GET LIKE THAT AS MUCH ANYMORE--BUT IT HELPS TO TALK ABOUT IT AND HAVE FAMILY & FRIENDS AROUND ME TO HELP ME DIG MYSELF OUT OF MY DEPTH OF LOSS. MY LIFE WILL BE OVER BEFORE I SEE I HAVE HAPPINESS RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF ME. MY HEAD IS MY WORST ENEMY!!! I WANT TO WRITE MY STORY TO HELP OTHERS WHO I KNOW ARE GOING THROUGH THIS SAME MESS ---MAYBE JUST MAYBE IT WILL GIVE ME THAT PEACE TO KNOW I AM NOT ALONE AND THEN IT WILL HELP EACH OF US TO SHARE WITH ONE ANOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO SIGN MY GUEST BOOK. AND THANK YOU AGAIN FOR TAKING THE TIME TO STOP BY MY PAGE. ..Christina D Carter Robinson

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US Military Tribute "Men Like My Son"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shWr8qyOQMg

dedicated to my son James~~Be safe when you leave Keep my ring close to your chest and know my love is right there in your heart always and forever! And your mom will be waiting for your beautiful face to come home for me to hug your neck and welcome you home! Love Your Mom