I'm the co-author of L.A. Bizarro, a book you may have heard of if you live in L.A. We're doing an update so we're putting out our feelers for obscure, absurd, and perverse places in Los Angeles. I'm a semi-professional agoraphobe, so please send me your cool L.A. places so I don't have to leave the house. Won't you help us create another #1 bestseller that earns us absolutely no money whatsoever? Thanks!
5 Fascinating Facts About Me
1) I am the love child of Charles Whitman and Tura Satana.
2) I am prone to bouts of ontological solipsism.
3) I am my own worst enemy.
4) I own a smoking donkey.
5) I can make sandwiches.
Bonus fact: There's something in my pants.
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A Special Message for the Hearing Impaired
A tip of the hat to April Winchell, who is not deaf.
Go work, so that we can hang out soon. You should give yourself a deadline, and everyday past your deadline you have to donate $10 to the NRA or Dennis Prager. That'll get you motivated.
