I have an idea of how He felt.
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Nearly half way through my fourth year of teaching high school history, I recently had a revelation. I keep asking myself: Why am I so much busier now than I was my first year of teaching? There is never an end to lesson planning, typing teacher-made resources, making copies, grading papers (and whatever else it is I do that makes 90 minutes seem like 15) Why do I never have any down time before the school day starts or during my planning period like I did before I had any idea of what I was doing? As final exams approach (and for the classes I teach, that means state mandated standardized tests), I have scurried and scavenged resources from our textbook package, other teachers, curriculum coaches, other bureaucrats, and the internet…then literally cut and pasted, or typed up everything from key terms study guides to practice multiple choice questions, doing what I can to make sure every student knows as much about the curriculum as possible. I feel like I’ve done so much; putting in all that time and effort to give my students a chance to help themselves. Yet when it is time to actually use these materials in class, more than half of the students in every class are more concerned with some text message, something another student said in the halls, or who’s dating who than attempting to focus on reviewing the material they will be tested on soon. Every day people forget to bring their book or homework, but interestingly enough no one has ever mentioned forgetting their Ipod or misplacing their cell phone.
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As I leave my classroom and head down the hall; maybe toward an office, the workroom, or the restroom there are constantly various students loitering, wandering aimlessly, others having loud conversations, carrying on like they’re in their living room, still more sending text messages or making cell phone calls, while others engage in public displays of affection their parents ought to smack them for, or use language that would make a sailor blush, all generally walking around like they own the place. I keep thinking to myself, “If they only knew how much we did”….if they only knew first of all what we went through to get certified and get hired so we could be there for them, but then how much time and effort we put in every day: Just to be prepared for one class, or get one set of papers graded. If these kids only knew how hard we work to serve them; how easy they have it; how many people it takes to hand them a privilege that millions of other kids in the world would actually appreciate. If they knew what every one of us went through on a typical day or week; waiting for our obsolete classroom computer trying to run new software to comply, hoping the printer network is functional, fighting with the copier even when it is “working”, not to mention actually teaching classes. Then there are the meetings, the workshops, plus other periodic duties that will make a typically mild mannered person beat their fist on their desk when they realize it’s their day for say....lunch duty. These kids just don’t know; they just don’t care. We do so much for them, and they ignore us, disrespect us, hatch schemes to systematically annoy us, and do everything except what we ask them to…yet we keep on giving; hoping there will be one day where that light will come on in their brain; in their heart to see things as they are.
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Believe it or not, I actually do enjoy my job as a teacher and hope to stay in the profession for as long as I am allowed. I may complain about irresponsible lazy students and paper jams but that’s not even a drop in the bucket compared to the revelation I spoke of: How hard must it have been for The Lord Jesus Christ to do what He did?! I can never know exactly how He felt but I have an idea: To pour out everything He had; to lay down His life; to step down from being THE king to become THE lamb. To CHOOSE leaving splendor and majesty to come to this world He created, full of beings He created, yet which He KNEW would reject Him: Only so those that He knew would murder Him could be forgiven if they believe in Him. That’s love. I thought I loved my students, even the most hateful, malicious, with the worst attitude and most misaligned priorities: But if you would have told me many years ago that I would give them my all; that I would serve them, not hold anything back, and give my absolute best effort every day, yet they would behave the way they do, I don’t think I would have gone through with it. But to a degree that I can’t explain or understand, that’s exactly what The Lord Jesus Christ did by going to the cross to be the unblemished lamb to die in my place, to pay for my sins, to give me the opportunity to experience victory through His power and might, not mine.
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If you don’t understand why we need a savior from sin, or want to learn more, click here.