Teenage Zombie, Biff
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I Was A Teenage Zombie
Male
19 years old
Manitoba
Canada
Last Login: 10/20/2009
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Teenage Zombie, Biff's Interests
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| General | motorcycles, rock and roll, girls, being cool...
| | Music | Elvis...
Chuck Berry...
The Crew Cuts...
I kind of liked those singing zombies in the musical about my life... even though they got all the details wrong about how I... you know... Anyway, that's what I'm playing for you on this page.
 | | Movies | The werewolf one... with that Michael Landon kid...
There was a movie called I Was A Teenage Zombie... came out in the 1980's. It wasn't about me. No way. Some other poor sap who got dumped in some radioactive water or something. It was pretty cool. But that's not what happened to me. And that guy was nowhere near as cool as Biff! But they didn't make a movie about me. Oh, no. I get stuck with this musical... for the stage! The live theatre! And it's done at high schools... not even Broadway or nothing like that. Here a look at the losers who first put my story on the stage....
They look pretty happy don't they. That's because this is before they performed the show. And I think they all cleaned up a bunch of chimneys right before this picture was taken. They're all covered in black stuff. It's not zombie make-up. They looked real different with that on. That part was pretty all right. I guess you can't see them too good here, 'cause the picture's small. Trust me, you don't want to see them up close. Especially that guy in the back left corner. Who does he think he is? | | Television | Anything with a juvenile delinquent. | | Books | Are you kidding? You know who reads books? A loser. A lonely, left out loser, who has no friends, no girl, no invitations to parties. In short, a loser who has nothing better to do. You’re not one of them, are you...? Here's 3 girls you won't have!
This is what they looked like in the musical version. They're the popular girls at the school. The kind of girls who would've been crazy about me. In 1958 that is. Except these girls weren't arpound in 1958. They would've dressed different. You know what I mean. But these are the cool girls who were at the school when I came back from the dead... as a teenage zombie.
| | Heroes | Besides me and James Dean? I'll have to think about it.
But certainly not that guy who wrote the musical play of my life... what's his name...? Angus... something... not the guy in AC/DC! Nowhere near that cool! I think his name is on these dumb looking I Was A Teenage Zombie posters... Angus Kohm? What kind of stupid name is that?! Sounds like a loser who would write musicals! Crazy zombie musicals! For high schools! I mean, what a waste of time! Why didn't he join a rock and roll band and play the bars or something? Check out his webpage at www.anguskohm.com (if you have a strong stomach). And next time he writes a musical about me, I hope he doesn't! Or at least he asks me a few questions first. You hear that, Mr Angus Kohm? You call me and take me to lunch _ somewhere nice, where they serve brains - before you write I Was A Teenage Zombie 2... or Return of the Teenage Zombie... or Revenge of The Teenage Zombie - Hey! I like the sound of that! It could be about how I get revenge on the guy who wrote the stupid musical about my life! And that means you, Kohm! Or Angus... Can I call you, Angus? You call me Biff, so I figured... This don't mean we're friends or nothing, but call me! Let's talk about this Revenge idea... |
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Teenage Zombie, Biff's Details
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| Status: | Single | | Body type: | 3' 0" | | Zodiac Sign: | Taurus |
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Teenage Zombie, Biff's Blurbs |
About me:
I Was A Teenage Zombie... and still am. I died when I was 17... back in 1958. I guess I'm technically older than 17 now, but I haven't changed a bit since that fateful day when I...
when I... Hey! They made my life story into a musical! A musical, of all things! It's called I Was A Teenage Zombie (how original!) and it features singing and dancing zombies! What could be more horrifying? I read about it at www.anguskohm.com (what kind of stupid name is that?).
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Who I'd like to meet:
Elvis...
Chuck Berry...
The Crew Cuts...
James Dean... Alright, I know he died - before me, I mean - so I know it's not possible... but then again, I'm still hanging around... so maybe he is, too.
Oh, and that guy who wrote the musical about my life. I'd like to explain to him that he got it all wrong! I mean look at this guy...
Does he look like he could possibly be as cool as me? He's not the real Biff! He's an actor! Just one of the many who have tried to be me in I Was A Teenage Zombie - The Musical. He's not even a teenager! You can hear him singing in that song, Zombie Apocalyse, which should be playing right now. He does sound pretty cool in that. Him and all those other dead guys and dolls. Just when you thought it was safe to back to the graveyard... Here's another....................................
Does he look any more likely as the coolest guy in school? Well, okay, he's pretty cool... but he's not as cool as the real Biff! At least he's a real teenager. And that leather jacket is alright. But he's out of focus! He's all confused by the singing and dancing zombies, so he's gone right out of focus! That's really what happened. The camera doesn't lie. Here's a better look at the fake Biff and his zombies...
zombies... zombies.... zombies... zombies... zombies...
girls...girls...girls... not zombies... well, not yet... girls....
Zero was the coolest guy at the school until I came back from the grave. He was pretty cool, but he was no match for me. The real friendly looking one is one of his thugs. She's pretty cool, too. The girl was real popular until she got rejected by the other girls. She's still too popular for a loser like you! All three of these actors are really teachers. Bet you're shocked that they're not really in high school! Well, they are... but they're standing at the front of the class and giving teenage zombies like me detentions because I haven't done my homework for the last 50 years..................................................
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