Our Writers
The Douginator has done it all. He hunted wolverines in Alaska, worked in the CIA, created The Beatles, explained the Theory of Relativity to Einstein, told on Richard Nixon for being bad, sang opera, danced with some stars, and played professional finger jousting. He enjoys the Big Lebowski and Boondock Saints. He has a crazy taste in music which includes Nirvana, the Beatles, Metallica, Luciano Pavarotti, Beethoven, Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, Bob Dylan. The Douginator is a writer, chief promoter, page designer and all around html problem solver for The Arabian Monkey Company. You can reach him on them newfangled internets at thedouginator@arabianmonkey.com.
The Gerk is a complacent college student who is cogniscent of (but will never attain) his full potential. He is a pessimist, an apathetic, and an asshole. In his free time he works at a television station and plays internet poker on Pokerstars, UltimateBet, and FullTilt. The Gerk also enjoys debauchory, revelry, shenanigans, and causing a ruckus. He also likes to gerrymander. You know, like districts. The Gerk is a writer and editor-in-chief for The Arabian Monkey Company. He is fully aware of the fact that he is better than you, and any dissenting opinion should be sent to TheGerk@arabianmonkey.com.
Jesus Shuttlesworth is an opinionated hood rat straight from the streets. He is a rebel and a socialist who sleeps with anarchy and dreams of revolution. In his free time, Jesus enjoys protesting, peacefully marching, and not shopping at Wal-Mart. Jesus Shuttlesworth keeps a watchful eye on all things political, social, soulful. He also checks out the hood, G. You can send him his much deserved hate mail at jesusshuttlesworth@arabianmonkey.com.
Drokk is a born-again Evangelical Christian college student from Michigan. He is also the luckiest poker player in the world (this fact may or not be related to his religious piety). He claims that he is open minded, just not so open minded that his brain falls out. Sports are a big part of Drokk's life- he is a hardcore Detroit fan, and likes writing about local teams. Drokk also wrestled in high school, and enjoyed it way too much. You can send him pictures of your genitals at Drokk@arabianmonkey.com.
Max Power is Arabian Monkey's newest writer. As a film buff, he will be primarily concerned with movie reviews, and he just might save you from watching the next "Gigli." You're welcome. Max takes pride in knowing more about movies than you ever cared to know, and on an unrelated note, he is also quite a snazzy dresser. He enjoys long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and sexual fantasies involving a farmer and a Mexican apple picker. You can tell him where to shove his movie reviews at Maxpower@arabianmonkey.com.
