the vodka bender

About me:

Hello ladies. Look at your man, now back to me, now look at your man.... now back to me. Sadly, hes not me. But if he went to college and got a job, cleaned himself up a bit, and started calling you "sweetcakes" he might be able to play me in some off broadway stage show... poorly. Partly, because I dont call anyone "sweetcakes". But mostly because I cant stand off broadway stage shows. Im perfect in every way you see. Im also the most interesting person ever, I won an award for it one time, and received an award of 300 billion dollars with which I used to start a school for every orphan ever in which they were given an orphaned puppy or kitten, sometimes both. Unfortunately you wouldnt have heard of them though because they only go to med school or become professors of physics and literature at prestigious universities and keep a low profile. I imagine you will be adding me as a friend now and thats a good thing because you wont be disappointed.