Nick, Chuck Smiley, and DaveO. Plus a bucket full of kick in the nuts punk rockery.
Influences
Basically we are all influenced by the cool kids and they way they make a man feel nauseous. You know how a band can play some total ass-style of music, but then dress cool, and add the word "Punk" to their self description? "My name is Theodore and my band plays rectum/electro punk." Sorry Theo, eat a big bowl of dick cereal. Unless you're Fonzy, you're probably not very cool. We in the Baby Arms have come to terms with our un-coolness, and have in fact embraced ugliness and stupidity. I got fat on purpose.
Sounds Like
Really, humbly, I would say we sound like a rip in the underpants of time and space. Embarrassing maybe. But really very undeniable. Have you ever had to buy new underwear for existence? Didn't think so. So how would you know anything?
What is there to say, really? The Baby Arms are just four of your average Non-Deformists* who decided to be way hotter shit than seems reasonable. We all played in other bands, went to each others shows, drank beer, managed illegal gambling establishments, gave tigers their stripes, taught midgets to read, showed vaginas how to smile, (and not just a few how to frown), just, you know, you're basic small town punk rock and rollery. Then, blah, blah, blah, something happened, blah, blah, blah, we started practicing, blah, blah, blah, something, something, best band ever, now, us, we are it. It seems ridiculous to start, at this point, reeling of the list of insane-o, awesome things that we've done. It's just not doable at this juncture. If I were to type it all out my fingers would double over and vomit off their nails from exhaustion. My herpes would go into, back out of, and back into, remission. They would invent outer space and then go to it and then wait awhile and then claim it was all bullshit. Time, my, space friends, is of the essence, and it is starting to smell like Elizabeth Taylor in here. And not Elizabeth Taylor the actress, god damn it. Elizabeth Taylor the local homeless lady who gives all the young punks new boots and blow jobs.
Suffice it to say the Baby Arms are pretty fucking awesome. In fact I don't think we can even write a bad song. I believe it was last week at practice, maybe the week before, we were sitting around talking about that very thing. Someone said that it ,basically, wasn't fair to the other local bands that we could only write killer songs. We were using up all the gold and the other kids were stuck with semen and silly putty. So we decided to try and write a bad song. Just an off the cuff, who gives a shit, piece of petrified puke. Next thing you know, cocaine and prostitutes. That only happens when you are really good. It took about ten minutes for them to show up. But...I digress. Four guys. Punk rock. Check it out.
*Non-Deformist. (noun) Someone who's not deformed, dummy.
Nick, I just obtained some magic from a elf or a fucking dwarf or something, are you interested in bartering? Maybe we should roll the dice to see....... When are you and the big D and Ryder free...gimme a call.
Nicky da fingas, I think I DID shit my pants reading your bio... taught midgets to read, showed vaginas how to smile.....married with children giving you more time for creative writing eh? haha
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