I like to watch wrestling, tease lemurs, beavers and other small mammals. Stick my fingers in things; run really fast. masturbate with my dink a little bit on the weekdays (except Sundays cause its gods day). Pelt the homeless with hot garbage then blame it on my fat cousin Madison.
Music
The melodious tones of Anne Murray. She sings to my soul.
Movies
I always liked the Chevy Chase movie where he fell down a lot.
Television
Sue Thomas F.B.EYE, Corner Gas, Degrassi: Junior, High,The Next Gerneration respectively. Hockey Night in Canada, The Parkers (black people are HILARIOUS!)
Books
Clifford the Big Red Dog. (He has some spirited adventures!)
Heroes
The Ultimate Warrior. I modelled my whole adult life after him. What's not to like? He gets to wear colored underwear, clothesline people, grunt, press people over his head, and talk about the evils of liberalism! that's kinda cool!
About me: Hello, Bacon fans, My name is Canadian Bacon but my friends call me Canadian Bacon. I'm from GOD'S COUNTRY of Saskatchewan Canada (Heaven is North and Canada is North, do the math!!!) and I just might be the number one wrestling journalist in the history of the ever. (I once split a half a Toblerone bar with the Brooklyn Brawler Steve Lombardi in a cab to the airport so don't doubt my credentials!). I'm bigtime huge in wrestling journalism and give scoops or news even at the website I MADE FAMOUS (www.thewrestlingfan.com). You can read the full Bacon Archives (including my Juno award winning Bacon Réports) here and definitely come out a baker's dozen times smarter for it! Ya!!!!:
Anyways, when I'm not writing the most celebrated columns EVER (Dave Meltzer once voted me "Best Writer I've never read!") I'm prolly just sitting around being handsome and maybe playing with my dink on occasion if the mood strikes me right. (I like to make a game out of it where I pretend it's a neck and I'm strangling it to death).
My day job sees me sell pewter statuettes for which I was in the running for the prestigious order of the plodding moose THREE YEARS running (I woulda won last year but my cousin Madison stuck one of the pewter dolphins in his ass) and to date have moved more Che Guevara commemorative plates than any man living or dead!!! (the dead ones don't move too much stuff on the account of their lifelessness, I suppose though).
I am also somewhat of a legend in cut throat world of competitive Wall Ball here in SASKATCHEWAN, where I'm celebrated as one of Canada's greatest athletes. (I'm kind of thought of as a white Wayne Gretzky.)
The Baconman is an only child, and sadly, I never knew my Father because he died two years before I was born. I have currently converted my Mom's garage into maybe the swankest apartment you've never seen, and the ladies I bring there seem to REALLY like it. (My Aunts and cousins think it's really neat).
My favourite cereal in the ever is prolly Boo Berry, which is like Count Chocula only completely different and not at all like it. Other than that though they're completely identical. I recently had a huge bigtime contest where I was to send a baggy filled with delicious Boo Berry to hundreds of my faithful readers who know doubt salivated for this timeless breakfast treat but things didn't pan out. I got discouraged trying to attach the stamp to the ziplock bag and just decided to eat the Boo Berry myself. It was delicious but gave me real bad indigestion. Next time I'll prolly take it out of the bag first.
Anyways, to make up for it those hundreds and dozens even of people who desperately wanted a breakfast phenomenon that's not good for you and faggoty like Corn Flakes, I instead offer yous guys this:
A picture of me, Canadian Bacon, holding THE BOX of Boo Berry!!!!!!11 Don't let anyone say I don't give completely nothing of value to my fans!
Anyways, Baconman is strict as to whom he'll accept as a Friend. However, any and all Bacon fans will of course be accepted 'cause they have great taste in writers!!!!!!!
From there, I'll add you if you're a wrestler, in the business, or like me just knew a guy who once spilled the top scoop of his ice cream on the wing tip shoes of Former disgraced referee Danny Davis. However,if you have big boobs I'll definitely accept you though. (as long as you're indeed a flesh and blood woman. There was a mix up once. I don't like to talk about it.)
And once yous guys are added, feel free to ask me questions and such, and inquire anything about this wrestling business I love because I'm so INSIDE I'm practically umm, inside? YES. I'll try my best to answer you but not really and even hook you up with many of my contacts in the Industry (I know a guy who got a signed program in 1987 by Killer Bee Jim Brunzell so imagine the possibilities!!!!) That's it! Go away now!
I'm kinda Awesome.
-CB.
Who I'd like to meet: Don Cherry, The Jesus, my Father, and my online girlfriend (can't wait to put my dink in her!!!! Should be glorious!!!)
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hey just a test for a little program I got to
message all my friends. So now everyone
can get a comment from me :)
the program is over here:
http://www.silentproducts.cjb.net kisses
OMG u gotta try this website. it asks you a few questions and somehow it tells you everybody from our school who has a crush on you. no clue how it works but i just tried it and it really did lol.
We have new singles up on MySpace and delivered to Canadian Radio this week! The songs are called "Drowning" (the softer song) and "The Colours of the Floor" (the awesome song).
Take a listen if you can and let me know what you think of them!
jimi
ps both songs can be found in stores across Canada on our new disk:
hey hey...we were just going through our friends and figured we would try to say hi to all of them on our list...it will probably take a while...but whatever...so, here's a big HELLO!!! from all of us in Goodbye Glory...love ya
Flatlined's new album Deaf Leading the Blind" is coming Feb. 23rd. Come check out our first single "The Deaf Leading the Blind" now on our profile! Write us a message - we always respond! hope to hear from you soon,
So, Bacon, is this going to finally be your year? Is 2006 the year you finally snag the *prestigious* Golden Tenay? Or will I *ahem* "steal your life" yet again?
Ahh...point well taken. So what do you think the blow off in the DX/McEgo fued will be? After last night, I can't see this moving beyond RAW. You really think Shane's dead?
haha so I just decided to come by and leave you a random comment. I've been so busy lately that this is really the first time I've had to myself. I haven't gotten a chance to talk to you as much as I would like to. You should drop by my page to say hi more often. And leave me some random love, too. You know I love randomness. haha. Oh, and I'm leaving a picture link to my book on amazon.com for you, because I have a feeling that you will really appreciate the humor in it. And I'd love for you to get a copy and then leave me a review on amazon as well. You know, tell what you think about it and what not. Well, get back to me when you get the chance. feel free to leave me random comments if you'd like ;)
~Jarod
another thought provoking column, you truly are the biggest insider in wrestling to get those gems. please leave me a comment to display your wisdom to my retarded myspace 'friends'
hey hey! how you been doing? thought we would let you know some clips from our upcoming album are now on our myspace. check it out, let us know what you think so far!
wes has some more vocals to record, but we are going to be back on the road for the beginning of june. hoping to connect with you before we are gone and away again!
I NOW OWN AND OPERATE MY VERY OWN WRESTLING NEWS FORUM AND WRESTLING E-FED. SO IF YOU'RE INTO OLD SCHOOL WRASSLIN' OR SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT OF TODAY, CHECK OUT THE RINGSIDE VOICE!
Let me tell ya something, Bacon brother. The last time someone gave me any lip or sass, I wound up in jail, and they're still 6 feet under. Do what'cha gotta do.
