Andy "Of course he's the fucking farmer" Rudolph,
Michael "Throw yourself into the road, darling" Castle
Influences
Sergei Prokofiev, Igor Stravinsky, The Fucking Champs, Iron Maiden, Hella, Prague, Electro Quarterstaff, Ham, Mahogany Frog, Karlheinz Stockhausen, Slayer, Ween, Venetian Snares, Yes, The Tin Hat Trio, Mastodon, Celtic Frost, Ennio Morricone, ELP, Extreme, Oscar Wilde, John Kennedy Toole, Sergio Leone, Percy Shelly, Miss Kitten, Border Collies
Sounds Like
A Mysterious Flaming Sack on the Doorstep of Classical Music
Conceived in a tent in Northern Alberta, birthed in an inner city apartment, raised in a co-op mansion and sent to boarding school in the West Indies, The Calculus Affair is sweeping the nation with its mellow, soulful screams and wails. Comprised of one iron-clad guitar and a particularly pernicious drum set, the C.A. is riding the waves of metal-fad to a great crest of ingenuity. Be the first kid on your block to suffer tinnitus and weep with ill-founded joy.
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Show this Saturday! An evening of angular mathy rock coming at you in three bombastic bursts of jagged noise, and sweet molten groove. Join us, aswell as Lint(Calgary) and L'viv on what should be a perfectly paired fiesta at the Mondragon. 91 Albert Street, Winnipeg. $5 @ 8pm.
hey ya'll
i hear i missed a rockin rocker
and it breaks my heart
you'll have to take it up with my bike lock
instead i sat at home dressed like the white trash that i am - props in tow
and cried
well...maybe i didn't cry as much as i got trashed
and wished that it had been with you
VINNIE BAMBINO: how, i wonder, shall you balance a life of kitten sacking with a life of crime? perhaps tomorrow nite the two will combine all-too beautifully in a gory mess of bludgeoning, debauchery, mayhem, intrigue, and good old fashioned family sing-alongs. i hear your old friend guillermo is planning to attend...
Dear Mr. Rudolph,
You wrote: ¨A Blacker Pot hath never spoken, sir. Firstly, I renounce all ties with Strawberry Alarm Clock. They are dead to us. The sooner you realize that, the better. Furthermore, you speak boldly of the Samoan Civil War and it just might have been believable, had you not spilled the beans vis-a-vis your obsession with Florence Nightingale. Admit it, your father was a Turk who fought in the Crimean War!¨. While your point about my ancestry may or may not be justified, I cannot remain idle while you continue to pass by Fat Mattress in silence. You renounce all ties to Strawberry Alarm Clock, but do not dare to take a similar course with reference to FM. For this reason, they and their oeuvre are a veritable ¨elephant in the room¨. As we both know, Noel Redding was Fat Mattress´ beloved frontman before his recent death. You may be interested to know that according to wikipedia ¨He (Redding) died at his home in Ireland at the age of 57 in May 2003. In the village of Ardfield, local people have erected a plaque to his memory¨. It seems to me that those plucky Ardfield townsfolk would be quite distressed as to the current state of affairs vis-a-vis your band. One can imagine that were a sufficient amount of pitchforks and methamphetamines to be distributed amongst them, there would be hell to pay. Of course, such a confrontation is not necessary. Therefore, I beg you: will you not reconsider your silence?
forever yours in trivia,
Ryan
I just want to state that there are some rather glaring gaps in your influences section. Having witnessed the genesis of your band (I was there at your first practice, huddled beside the dryer, as usual), I must note that you have entirely overlooked what is (to my mind) a flagrant debt to rock groupings Fat Mattress and Strawberry Alarm Clock. Would you consider rectifying this situation? Fair is fair after all.
sincerely,
M. Ryan Boldt
