When the harsh Nova Scotia winter passes, the Bears migrate west to their California home on Bear Island (Alameda, Ca). ... And sometimes on a Friday Night, when they're feelin' ornery, they enjoy slathering 4-hours of acoustic love, growl'n at the ladies, and drinking themselves blind here:
Sounds Like
3 Extremely Sexy Bears Playing The Best Acoustic Rock You've Ever Heard In Your Entire Life!!!
THE COUNTRY BEARS of NOVA SCOTIA - All Acoustic Jam Band:
"Performing 3 - 4 hours of the coolest Rock 'N Roll Hits from the 1970's, 80's, 90's and beyond!" - THE COUNTRY BEARS of NOVA SCOTIA
Are Available For Private & Corporate Events Only! (Because 'Live'-Bear Entertainment is Expensive!)
For more information email: CountryBearsNS@aol.com
Author & Songwriter Jeffrey Othello & Guitarist Rich Williamson had been touring together for sometime when... In a blizzard outside of Halifax, Nova Scotia, they spotted Nuk-Nuk the Inuit in the snow... Butt-naked skinning an elk!... His 'manhood' mostly frozen black by the freezing cold!
.... With cat-like reflexes, and without any warning, Rich jumped on Nuk-Nuk and dragged him kicking and screaming into a tent.
Well... no one knows exactly how Rich did it.... But the next morning Nuk-Nuk's 'manhood' was saved, and the noble savage became their devoted companion.
Award Winning Singles:
-THE TASTE OF HONEY
-HAND IN THE HONEYJAR
-A FIST FULL OF HONEY
-BEAR NAKED
-SLEEP'N AROUND THE WOODS
-BEAR SKIN HUG
-WHO'S YOUR PAPA BEAR?
-THE GOLDIE LOCKS INCIDENT
&
-SMELL THE PAW
THE COUNTRY BEARS of NOVA SCOTIA: Adventures on 'Bear Island'
After hibernating through the extremely cold and brutal Nova Scotia Winters, The Country Bears of Nova Scotia - Jeffrey, Rich, & Nuk-Nuk - travel from their homes on the Bear River near the brisk and harsh Northern Atlantic seaboard, and migrate west toward the warmer mediterranean climate of the sunny California coast.
There, in warm and welcoming California, they settle comfortably on a small
and friendly Island located in a Northern California bay, dubbed...
"Bear Island"! - The Sping & Summer Home of THE COUNTRY BEARS of NOVA SCOTIA!
Dateline: 11/14/2007
Alt-Rock Acoustic Jam Band - The Country Bears of Nova Scotia, were stopped at the US/Canadian Border last night, as they attempted to enter Canada with an un-documented Inuit (Eskimo), reportedly carrying 18-pounds of frozen fish in a guitar case.
US Customs Officials have reportedly begun deportation proceedings focused on sending the un-documented musician back to either Switzerland or Sweden. Sources close to the Bears overheard the guitarist known as 'NUK-NUK' growling, "But I'm not from there!"
More Details To Come...
Dateline: 11/15/2007
NUK-NUK the Inuit, the beloved 12-string guitarist for the Country Bears of Nova Scotia - All Acoustic Jam Band has been deported to Switzerland!... Even though he's not from there!
CBONS Management has released the following statement:
"Switzerland?... But, he's not from there!"
To Be Continued...
Dateline: 11/21/2007
United States Marshals & Custom Officials have agreed to accept the extradition/re-entry to the US of CBONS 12 String Guitarist "NUK-NUK" from Swiss authorities.
The official reasons are still clouded in secrecy; however, high-ranking Swiss officials leaked the 250-year old Swiss crime of ‘A Lewd Act with Cheese’ to the Associated Press - ... and being as no such law exists in the US, upon his return tomorrow, NUK-NUK is a free man! (Nasty, but free)
... Yeah NUK-NUK! (Ewww NUK-NUK)
Dateline:1/30/2008
Well...
The extra cold Nova Scotia Winter is taking its toll on the Bears!
Some how, while still hibernating... local vets had to put Jeffrey Othello on Bear-Strength antibiotics "For Undisclosed Reasons!"
Soon after, CBONS Management released this statement:
"Apparently Jeffrey Othello suffers from a rare and mostly unheard-off case of Hibernation Sleep Walking, and has been seen by local authorities 'Having His Way' with a herd of Canadian Elk!"
Soon after, Nuk-Nuk released this statement:
"Grrrr Whatever!... I don't care if he was Sleep Walking... When Jeffrey wakes-up, he's gonna need to apologize to my Elk!"
Rich Williamson reluctantly released this statement:
"(Sniffle) Has anybody seen my sister?... She was last seen feeding Nuk-Nuk's Elk!"
SEE YA IN THE SPRING! - Yarrrr Bitches!
Dateline 2/19/2008:
It has just been verified that the famed (and sometimes infamous) Country Bears of Nova Scotia 12-String Guitarist "Nuk-Nuk", is being held in the brig of a fishing barge in Bear River, Nova Scotia.
Sources on the Canadian fishing barge "Chumsushiyuk" confirmed that Nuk-Nuk was taken into custody, after being spotted loitering near a Bear River fishing warf with a 42-pound Salmon and a 15-pound block of Canadian Cheddar Cheese inside of his overcoat.
Nuk-Nuk is being held on $15 bail (which is a lot in Nova Scotia). His bail hearing is set for March 14th, 2008.
CBONS Management released the following statement: "We're so sorry!... There's no excuse!... Nuk-Nuk apparently has a very serious problem with both Cheese and Fish, and we tried to make Nuk go to rehab, but Nuk said Grrrr Grrrr Grrrr!"
Dateline 3/5/2008:
Well...
The notoriously voraciously cadaverous Jeffrey Othello awoke from his winter hibernation last Saturday March 1st, and immediately found a nearby field of imported Peruvian Strawberries, and in typical voracious bear-like fashion rooted, rutted, devoured, and apparently contaminated, the entire crop. A herd of recently traumatized Canadian Elk looked on in empathetic tearful horror!
Predictably, the now fully engorged and invigorated Jeffrey Othello is back on Bear-Strength antibiotics and is expected to again make a full recovery by March 21st, when The Country Bears of Nova Scotia are expected to return to Northern California to perform at their favorite watering-hole, THE LUCKY 13 Saloon in Alameda!
… No local Fish & Wildlife Officials were available for comment, and no Canadian Elk have been reported missing or otherwise misappropriated. However, Canadian Agriculture Commissioners have categorized this year’s crop of Peruvian Strawberries as “RUINED!” … just plain ruined.
“IT’S SPRING TIME BITCHES!!!! YARRRRRR!”
Dateline 3/14/2008:
Well... NUK-NUK's Bail Hearing took all of 25-seconds... The Judge just looked at Nuk and shook his head in disgust!... Nuk-Nuk was released on a reduced bail of $9.42 Canadian (which is still a lot in Nova Scotia)… and set free to return to BEAR ISLAND, CA (Alameda, Ca) with THE COUNTRY BEARS of NOVA SCOTIA: All Acoustic Jam-Band.
