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I like to wail on my axe!!!
Movies
The single greatest cinematic sexy achievement ever to have light directed through it and projected onto a screen...Army O' Darkness.
Television
Flight on the Concords...is nice!
Books
I only read HP.
Heroes
Ronny the Bear, HP, Yogi bear, Dirty Harry, Animal (the muppet), Booger (the nerd, although I have no idea why he was considered a nerd), John Rambo, Mr. T, Freddy Krueger, Hulk Hogan, Cobra Commander, Snakes Eyes, Frankenstein, Chewbacca, Jack Burton, the Breakfast Club, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Doc (from BttF), Darth - fucking - Vader (before he became a whiny nob), Boba Fett, E.T., He-man, Skeletor, Ash, Evil Ash, the D, Wicket (you know, the Ewok), Chucky, the fucking Alien Queen, the millennium falcon, Uncle Buck, Number 5 (AKA: Johnny 5), Tyler Durden, Spiderman, zombies, Jesus Christ (the original zombie!), Eve (the original hottie!), The Man with No Name, Falkor the Luckdragon, Superman, Inspector Gadget, Sailor Moon, Kitt (the car), Yojimbo, Batman, Zim, Frank Dukes, Buzzsaw, Fireball, Conan, Jerry Maguire, Count Chocula, Yoda, Mad Max, the Crites, the Goonies, Jeff Spicoli, Axl Rose, Slimer, The One (not fucking Neo, Jet Li! Actually he sucks too, forget that one), Mr. Miyagi (and Daniel-san), Cobra Kai Sensei, the Terminator, Zangief, Sub Zero, King Kong, Frank T.J. Mackey, Lo Pan, Pai Mei, Beatrix Kiddo, Harold, Kumar, Kramer, Tony Montana, the Last Starfighter, Dark Helmet, Lone Starr, Princess Vespa, Barfolemew 'Barf', Colonel Sandurz, Dot Matrix, Radar Technician (played Michael Winslow), Yogurt (you know...yogurt!), Dr. Peter Venkman, the Jerk, Fletch, the Pink Panther (not the toon), Captain Crunch, Godzilla, Danny Zuko, the Monster Squad, Beavis, Butthead, Ren, Stimpy, C-3PO, R2-D2, Det. Axel Foley, Sgt. Martin Riggs, Lt. Frank Drebin, Edward Scissorhands, Wade 'Cry-Baby' Walker, John 'Bluto' Blutarsky, Rosemary, Rosemary's BABY, Jack Torrance, the T-Rex from JP, John Milner, Terry 'The Toad' Fields, Wolfman Jack, Bob Falfa, Dirk Diggler, Jules Winnfield, Mr. Pink, Lt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell, the Rain Man, Gizmo (oh yeah, he's my hero, you best believe!), Stripe, Harry (and the Hendersons!), Vinnie Barbarino, Frank Castle, the Incredible Hulk, Snake Plissken, Swamp Thing, Cartman, Team America, Ace Ventura, Pat Healy, Jaws, Chop Top, Foxy Brown, David Lee Roth, Yoko Ono, Richard D. James, and wait some of those people are real!!! Are you really reading all of this??? You must really want those TASTY MINJA wafers...
...but not Wayne Gretsky. Did you actually read all that? You suck!
About me: Decided to restore my myspace back to it's original form...not sure the pictures are working though...dang.
Yo! Everybody thinks of me as this really, really, really sexy warrior. But what they don't fucking know is how goddamn SENSITIVE I am and shit, you know? Like they see me shredding on my ax and then banging chicks with huge party-hooters while several of my veiny-er body parts bulge and throb to the rhythm that the sweet love makes and just assume that I've never cried watching Steel Magnolias!!! DOES THAT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE TO YOU?!!?!??!!?!?!
Won't anybody appreciate my heart for how beautiful and complex it really is?!!? FUCK ALL OF YOU!!!! you don't REALLY love me!!!!
Anyhooza, I get a pretty decent boner every time I watch this!!!
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As you can see, I'm a completely bored out his frickin' skull kind of guy who wastes his time doing shit like this cause I'm a sex machine extroidinare (or however it's spelt, who cares!!!!!!!) And although it says I'm 29, mentally, it's more like 16...I like to watch movies while scratchin me nuts but checka dis! I am also alive, which is okay I guess...it's pretty nifty at times when it don't suck ass. I constantly breath air!!! From Earth!!! And trees, apparently!!! It's refreshing as fuck!!! I am also sweet or at least can be...I tend to eat a lot of sugar so...who knows...
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I once arm wrestled Sylvester Stallone and won. Twice. He's kind of a puss. I also like food, which is a good thing, cause if I didn't, it'd suck cause (and you may find that you are very similar in this regard) I have to eat in order to sustain my life, which, as I've already mentioned, is okay and pretty nifty when not sucking ass.
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That's a picture of me with Bruce back in the day. This is a perfect example of HOW MUCH COOLER Bruce Lee is than me!!!! Plus, I was the dude who suggested to him that he eat the potato chip that he ate in that movie of his where he eats the potato chip. That makes me cool or sexy, I guess. I'm also the co-author of the famous line "I'll be back" even though that has nothing at all to do with Bruce Lee...
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That is a picture of me and one of my many, many Mogwai's. I like Mogwai's (understatement). But don't get 'em wet!
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Yes, I like to jump around on my bed wearing nothing but underoos and a samurai hat so what! You know the legend of how Van Halen, in the early days, played with his back to the crowd to hide how he did his "Tapping"? Well, I was the guy who told him to do that. FACT!
I poop at least once a day (which is normal, I think). I fart even more. Are you really reading all of this? Well, read on ya boobs! Speaking of boobs...I like 'em!!! And Butts (big ones). I also like gams (which is a sexy cool word for legs!). These things make me horny! Especially when in motion and/or on videotape! FACT!!!
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With the help of these tasty Ninja Wafers and this Ninja Juice I've become a master of Ninjitsu; the deadly art of the orient. (that means I'm a Ninja!)
Look at me fly!!! Like Keanu Reeves and shit!!! Fuck, I look so muscular and sexy!!!! Do I not make you a horny?!!!! NO?!!!
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Fuck you, I make you horny!!!
This is some guys review site. Haven't been there much...I guess it's okay. I think there's some nekkid girl pics so it can't be all bad...
Persons having read all of the above are now eligible for lifetime supply of NINJA WAFERS!!! Now YOU TOO can impress the ladies with your mastery of stealth, smokes bombs and wicked cool jammies!!!
Who I'd like to meet: I'd like to meet other ninjas like me and start a support group sorta like AA, except for ninjas, so we can discuss how to become NINJA DINOSAURS.
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I found a place to live. Can't jinx it yet, but it's pretty much fo sho. Sad though in a way, as I was totally digging sharing a bed with Cheeto as you slept soundly on the couch. Maybe I'll be seeing you this weekend?
Turbo is a Sexy Beast...me is impressed...he is so damn good. And that guy who played Gandhi was in that movie Sexy Beast. And I love that song that plays at the beginning by the Stranglers.
holy shit that is great i've got a record from that tv show i bought at a garage sale years ago cause i thought it looked rad from that show i've never listened to it!!!! i can tell that was a grave error.. thanks now i just gotta find it if anything good comes out of it i'll record it and send it your way
