the Eclectic Company

Most auspicious greetings & blessings to you, Eclectic Company. We want to let you know that we are recovering well from our injuries. A few days ago, we were having lunch in a nearby pub & became involved in some kind of riot. Some big brawly guy with a wild & scruffy beard came in wearing a wedding dress. It didn’t take long for some drunken guy to make some snide remark. A heated exchange escalated rapidly. Before you know it, bar stools were being flung & smashed up against chins, backs, & knees. In the ensuing chaos, our friend, Frank, lost his left ear. It was torn off by one of the brawlers. At the hospital, the doctor told us that before his ear could be reattached it would first have to be properly re-nourished. The doctor recommended sewing the ear to Frank’s stomach, where it would receive needed nutrients. The surgery was supposed to take place the next day, but it didn’t happen. The doctor was eating Chinese food as he drove home that night when an egg roll became lodged in his throat. While choking on the egg roll, the doctor lost control of his Bentley, knocked out a couple of fire hydrants, before being t-boned by a train. When the doctor’s body was removed from the car it was discovered that he was naked from the waist down. His wife later confirmed he preferred to drive that way. You are beautiful & you deserve to be happy. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being a friend.