Thee Exes
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"All it takes is one hit."
Female
22 years old
So Cal, California
United States
Last Login: 8/8/2008
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Mood:
enlightened
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http://www.myspace.com/theeexes |
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Thee Exes's Interests
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| General |
WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
Domestic Violence (sometimes referred to as domestic abuse or spousal abuse) occurs when a family member, partner or ex-partner attempts to physically or psychologically dominate another. Domestic violence often refers to violence between spouses, or spousal abuse but can also include cohabitants and non-married intimate partners. Domestic violence occurs in all cultures; people of all races, ethnicities, religions, sexes and classes can be perpetrators of domestic violence. Domestic violence is perpetrated by both men and women, occurring in both same-sex and opposite-sex relationships. Domestic violence has many forms, including physical violence, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, intimidation, economic deprivation or threats of violence. There are a number of dimensions including mode - physical, psychological, sexual and/or social; frequency - on/off, occasional, chronic; and severity – in terms of both psychological or physical harm and the need for treatment – transitory or permanent injury – mild, moderate, severe up to homicide (Wikipedia.com, 2008).
Violent Behavior is an Abuser's Choice
Reasons we know an abuser's behaviors are not about anger and rage:
He does not batter other individuals - the boss who does not give him time off or the gas station attendant that spills gas down the side of his car. He waits until there are no witnesses and abuses the person he says he loves.
If you ask an abused woman, "can he stop when the phone rings or the police come to the door?" She will say "yes". Most often when the police show up, he is looking calm, cool and collected and she is the one who may look hysterical. If he were truly "out of control" he would not be able to stop himself when it is to his advantage to do so.
The abuser very often escalates from pushing and shoving to hitting in places where the bruises and marks will not show. If he were "out of control" or "in a rage" he would not be able to direct or limit where his kicks or punches land.
Source: Mid-Valley Women's Crisis Service
Spousal abuse and battery are used for one purpose: to gain and maintain total control over the victim. In addition to physical violence, abusers use the following tactics to exert power over their wives or partners:
Dominance — Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his possession.
Humiliation — An abuser will do everything he can to make you feel bad about yourself, or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.
Isolation — In order to increase your dependence on him, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone.
Source: Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, MN
Threats — Abusers commonly use threats to keep their victims from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.
Intimidation — Your abuser may use a variety of intimation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences.
Denial and blame — Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abuser may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He will commonly shift the responsibility onto you: Somehow, his violence and abuse is your fault.
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Thee Exes's Details
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| Status: | In a Relationship | | Here for: | Networking, Friends | | Ethnicity: | Other | | Zodiac Sign: | Scorpio | | Smoke / Drink: | Yes / No |
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Thee Exes Are here to help!
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Thee Exes's Latest Blog Entry
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Song - Stabbing Westward
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Some of the Week - ANNIHILATOR
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Am I Being Abused? Checklist
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Song of the week, 2
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Websites and Phone Numbers for Domestic Violence
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Thee Exes's Blurbs |
About me:
BiteSizeKai, SpookshowBaby, and Little Miss Scare All welcome you to The Exes.
Hello, we are Thee Exes. Us three girls have all been in a domestic violent situation, and are now all out of it. We are here to listen to stories.
Stories such as:
* Are you in domestic violent relationship now?
* Have you been in one before?
* Do you know someone who it is happening to?
* Or would just like to give an opinion or ask questions pertaining to any kind of abuse.
We are here on our own free time, to help and understand those in need. Please keep in mind that we are volunteers in this.
We do NOT provide:
* Legal Advice
* Our personal information
We will NOT:
* Mention anyones name or information. All messages sent to us, are completely anonymous. This is for the protection of any individual. PLEASE remember that our profile is public, and any comment posts is displayed to the public. So please keep in mind that for your safety and the safety of others that your stories etc. are best kept in our inbox and not on public posts.
* If you tell us your story whether it be current or past, and we decide to use it in one of our demonstrations. We will ONLY do so with YOUR full permission. And PROMISE never to release names, photos any personal information from you or of anybody else.
* Ever EVER call a hotline number or the police ourselves. Legally that is not our area. We can only hope that we or yourself can help you find the strength to do that on your own.
We WILL provide:
* Knowledge from our own previous experiences.
* Opinions (NOT LEGAL ADVICE, remember we are not professionals and are only here to help others in need)
* What we call RED FLAGS or warning signs of abuse. Not only from our own experiences, but from resources, research from statistics, domestic violence websites.
* Advertisements on our page (currently still undergoing construction) For domestic violence hotlines, companies. Remember that we are based out of California and will advertise around our area the most. BUT you can always message us if you are not in our area, and we will research the best source for you in yours.
* Segment videos. Each week we plan to shoot at the very least a video of all three of us demonstrating warning signs and bad situations. These segments are meant to help lighten the mood through comedy. We do NOT in any way find domestic violence a funny situation, for we have experienced it ourselves. The comedic relief is our way of therapy as well, and can only hope the warning demonstrated help you realize that you are NOT stupid, weak, and that you do have a choice. Each segment will be ended with the "Moral of the Story"
* MEN! No not provide them for you! At least once a month, maybe more depending on our outreach from people. We will provide a men's segment, because we also understand that women are not the only victims, there are men out there who are too. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS IS NOT A MAN-HATING WEBSITE. We are only here to try our best to help those in need, in any way we can.
Domestic Violence does NOT only consist of physical abuse. There is also emotional, mental, sexual etc. And we will try our best to pertain to all of these different ways of Domestic Violence. So if you haven't been physically hit yet, this does not mean you are not a victim of domestic violence.
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Who I'd like to meet:
Does He…
Does he tell you what to wear,
Does he tell you how to dress,
Does he tell you to shut up,
because he knows what’s best…
Does he tell you how to act,
Does he tell you what to do,
Does he tell you that your nobody,
when he’s mad at you…
Does he tell you that your stupid,
when you , know your really smart.
Does he tell you that he loves you,
When you know your worlds apart…
Does he tell that he wouldn’t be,
So mad and so upset,
If you would only listen,
Because he knows what’s best…
Does he yell at you,
When he’s had a terrible day,
Now, he has you wondering;
If you, made him that way…
Does he tell you that you flirt,
With lots of other guys,
Does start to get on you,
Which now is no surprise…
Does he really frighten you,
Because he’s insecure.
Does it make you doubt yourself,
So now your not so sure…
All these things my friends,
Are nothing but abuse,
The time has come,
To live and have fun,
and turn that LOSER LOOSE…
Taken from a bulletin posted by the first person on our friends list (Humanity's Cries). Add him, he posts really good statistics and other resourceful information. Thank you Humanity's Cries, we all enjoyed the poem posted by you, and are glad to pass it on!
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