The fight against Marital Rape
The fight against Marital Rape The gun fire around us makes it hard to hear. But the human voice makes a different sound. It could be heard over everything else, even when its not shouting. Even if its just a whisper. Even a whisper can be heard over armies, When its telling the TRUTH.

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    The fight against Marital Rape's Interests
General
1 in 7 women will be sexually assaulted by her husband. Sexual contact gained through force, coercion, manipulation or fear of harm is rape.
Only 16% of rapes are ever reported to the police.

Only 2% of rapists are convicted and imprisoned!
Are you pissed off yet???
Had more then enough??
Because I have!
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Eighteen percent of young women experience sexual victimization.
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BUFFALO, N.Y. -- Sexual victimization can mean several things -- verbal coercion to have sex with an intimate partner, rape by a stranger, a woman fondled in a bar or forced intercourse when a woman is too intoxicated to consent or object.

Researchers at the University at Buffalo

INTRODUCTION
While the legal definition varies within the United States, marital rape can be defined as any unwanted intercourse or penetration (vaginal, anal, or oral) obtained by force, threat of force, or when the wife is unable to consent (Bergen, 1996; Pagelow, 1984; Russell, 1990). Most studies of marital rape have included couples who are legally married, separated, divorced or cohabiting with the understanding that the dynamics of sexual violence in a long-term cohabiting relationship are similar to those of a married couple (Mahoney & Williams, 1998). For this reason, this document will include women who are raped by their current marital partners, previous marital partners, and cohabitors as survivors of marital rape. To date, no study of marital rape has included cohabiting gay and lesbian couples. Diana Russell’s (1990) landmark study of sexual assault that involved interviews with 930 women in a randomly selected representative community sample in San Francisco established that marital rape is a serious problem that millions of women face each year. Researchers estimate that between 10% and 14% of married women experience rape in marriage (Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985; Russell, 1990). When researchers have examined the prevalence of different types of rape, they have found that marital rape accounts for approximately 25% of all rapes (Randall & Haskall, 1995; Resnick, Kilpatrick, Walsh, & Vernon, 1991). Rape in marriage is an extremely prevalent form of sexual violence, particularly when we consider that women who are involved in physically abusive relationships may be especially vulnerable to rape by their partners. Studies using clinical samples of battered women reveal that between one third and one half of battered women are raped by their partners at least once (Bergen, 1996; Browne, 1993; Campbell, 1989). Despite the prevalence of marital rape, this problem has received relatively little attention from social scientists, practitioners, the criminal justice system, and larger society as a whole. In fact it was not until the 1970’s that we began, as a society, to acknowledge that rape in marriage could even occur. Despite this acknowledgement and the recent changes in legislation that have criminalized rape in marriage, there is still much that we do not know about this type of intimate violence. The intent of this report is to briefly summarize what we do know about rape in marriage (for a comprehensive review of the literature on marital rape see Mahoney & Williams, 1998). This report will provide an overview of the research on marital rape with (1) a brief legal history of marital rape; (2) a discussion of the occurrence of marital rape; (3) a summary of the effects of marital rape; and (4) an analysis of practitioners’ interventions with marital rape survivors.

A BRIEF LEGAL HISTORY OF MARITAL RAPE Much of the scholarly attention that has been given to marital rape has emerged from the legal community. This has occurred because throughout the history of most societies, it has been acceptable for men to force their wives to have sex against their will. The traditional definition of rape in the United States most commonly was, “sexual intercourse with a female not his wife without her consent” (Barshis, 1983, p. 383). As Finkelhor and Yllo (1985) have argued, this provided husbandswith an exemption from prosecution for raping their wives—a “license to rape” (See Drucker, 1979; Eskow, 1996; and Sitton, 1993, for a discussion of the marital exemption). The foundation of this exemption can be traced back to statements made by Sir Matthew Hale, Chief Justice in 17th century England. Hale wrote, “The husband cannot be guilty of a rape committed by himself upon his lawful wife, for by their mutual matrimonial consent and contract, the wife hath given herself in kind unto the husband which she cannot retract” (quoted in Russell, 1990, p.17). This established the notion that once married, a woman does not have the right to refuse sex with her husband. This rationale remained largely unchallenged until the 1970’s when some members of the women’s movement argued for the elimination of the spousal exemption because it failed to provide equal protection from rape to all women (Bidwell & White, 1986; Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985). On July 5, 1993, marital rape became a crime in all 50 states, under at least one section of the sexual offense codes. In 17 states and the District of Columbia, there are no exemptions from rape prosecution granted to husbands. However, in 33 states, there are still some exemptions given to husbands from rape prosecution. When his wife is most vulnerable (e.g., she is mentally or physically impaired, unconscious, asleep, etc.) and is legally unable to consent, a husband is exempt from prosecution in many of these 33 states (Bergen, 1996; Russell, 1990). Table 1, based on the findings of the National Clearinghouse on Marital and Date Rape (1998), is a state law chart that indicates which states have some exemptions from prosecuting husbands for rape. The existence of some spousal exemptions in the majority of states indicates that rape in marriage is still treated as a lesser crime than other forms of rape. This perpetuates marital rape by conveying the message that such acts of aggression are somehow less reprehensible than other types of rape. Importantly, the existence of any spousal exemption indicates an acceptance of the archaic understanding that wives are the property of their husbands and the marriage contract is an entitlement to sex (Russell, 1990).

THE OCCURRENCE OF MARITAL RAPE To date, the best research on marital rape has come from interviews with women about their experiences of sexual violence. This body of research has its limitations (it may not represent those women who are raped by their husbands for years but never talk about it; and it may over-represent women who are raped and battered because samples of women in battered women’s shelters are frequently used); however, it has provided us with important information about how some women experience rape in marriage. Information about marital rape will be presented in the following sections: (1) social characteristics of survivors; (2) types of marital rape; and (3) risk factors of marital rape. Social Characteristics of Marital Rape Survivors Marital rape occurs in all types of marriages regardless of age, social class, race or ethnicity. In the largest study, Russell (1990) found that women were raped by their partners at a variety of ages; however, almost two-thirds of the wives were first raped by their husbands when they were under the age of 25. Social class is a more difficult variable to measure and the literature is less conclusive. Russell (1990) found that women in the upper middle class were slightly over-represented among marital rape survivors while Finkelhor and Yllo (1985) found that those from lower socialclass backgrounds were more likely to report experiencing marital rape. With regard to race, Russell (1990) found that the rate of marital rape was slightly higher for African-American women than white women, Latinas, and Asian women, respectively. Research has also revealed some variation with regard to women’s decisions to leave their husband-rapists. Latinas were less likely than other women to immediately define their experiences of forced sex as “rape” and terminate their relationships; some viewed sex as a marital obligation (Bergen, 1996). Russell (1990) found that whitewomen were less likely to stay with their husbandrapists than African-American, Latina, and Asian women. Economic resources played a particularly significant role in women’s ability to leave as those women who were most likely to leave their husband- rapists were the ones who were financially independent (Russell, 1990). Russell’s research also revealed that traditional wives (measured by conformity to traditional female sex roles) were more likely to blame themselves for the violence and stay with their husbands. The lack of racial, ethnic, and cultural diversity in samples of marital rape survivors makes generalizations difficult; however, these findings point to the importance of addressing cultural variation and differential understandings of what constitutes one’s wifely duty. Types of Marital Rape It appears that marital rape is most likely to occur in relationships characterized by other forms of violence. This has led some researchers to argue that marital rape is “just one extension of domestic violence” (Johnson & Sigler, 1997, p. 22). On one hand, viewing rape in marriage as a form of domestic violence is logical given that researchers have found that the majority of women who are raped by their partners are also battered. In “battering rapes,” women experience both physical and sexual violence in the relationship (Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985). Women who are raped and battered by their partners experience the violence in various ways—e.g. some are battered during the sexual violence or the rape may follow a physically violent episode where the husband wants to “make up” and coerces his wife to have sex against her will (Bergen, 1996; Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985). Other women experience what has been labeled “sadistic” or “obsessive” rape; these assaults involve torture and/or “perverse” sexual acts and are often physically violent. Pornography is frequently involved with sadistic forms of rape (Bergen, 1996; Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985). On the other side of this debate, some have argued that marital rape should not be subsumed under the heading of domestic violence because doing so in the past has led to rape in marriage being overlooked as a distinctive problem (for more on this debate see Bergen, 1996; Russell, 1990). It is necessary to recognize marital rape as a distinctive problem because for many women who are battered and raped, the sexual violence is particularly devastating and that trauma must be addressed specifically by service providers (Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985). Additionally, it is problematic to assume that marital rape survivors are all battered wives because this ignores the reality that some women are raped by their husbands but do not experience other forms of violence. It must be reiterated that most of the research on marital rape has been conducted with battered women. This methodological problem may overstate the extent to which women are both battered and raped by their partners. Indeed, Russell (1990) found that four percent of women in her sample who had ever been married had been raped by their partners but not battered. In what Finkelhor and Yllo (1985) have called “force-only rape,” husbands use only the amount of force necessary to coerce their wives; battering may not be characteristic of these relationships. Forty percent of Finkelhor and Yllo’s sample of women were victims of “force-only rape.” Thus, to categorize marital rape only as an extension of domestic violence excludes these women and their experiences. As we will address later, it is important for advocates who are involved in trying to end violence against women to see marital rape both as a form of rape and of domestic violence in order to assist survivors. This assistance may be particularly necessary given that women who are raped by their husbands are likely to be raped many times—often 20 times or more before they are able to end the violence (Bergen, 1996; Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985; Russell, 1990). Marital rape survivors not only experience a higher number of assaults, but research indicates that they are more likely than women raped by acquaintances to experience unwanted oral and anal intercourse (Peacock, 1995). Husbands often rape their wives when they are asleep, or use coercion, verbal threats, physical violence, or weapons to force their wives to have sex. Importantly, some researchers have found that compared to batterers, men who batter and rape are particularly dangerous men and are more likely to severely injure their wives and potentially escalate the violence to murder (Browne, 1987; Campbell, 1989). Risk Factors Most researchers of marital rape agree that rape in marriage is an act of violence - an abuse of power by which a husband attempts to establish dominance and control over his wife. While the research thus far reveals no composite picture of a husband-rapist, these men are often portrayed as jealous, domineering individuals who feel a sense of entitlement to have sex with their “property.” Given this, women appear to be particularly at risk for being raped by their partners under some circumstances. As was previously indicated, women who are battered are at greater likelihood of being raped by their partners (Frieze, 1983). Additionally, pregnancy appears to be a factor that places women at higher risk for both physical and sexual abuse (Bergen, 1996; Browne, 1993; Campbell, 1989). Being ill or recently discharged from the hospital are also risk factors for women (Campbell & Alford, 1989; Mahoney & Williams, 1998). As research with battered women has previously revealed, women are at particularly high risk of experiencing physical and sexual violence whey they attempt to leave their abusers for this represents a challenge to their abusers’ control. Finkelhor and Yllo (1985) found that two thirds of the women in their sample were sexually assaulted at the end of the relationship. Other researchers have found that women who are separated or divorced from their partners appear to be at high risk for sexual abuse (Dobash & Dobash, 1992; Kurz, 1997; Russell, 1990). Some researchers have noted other risk factors including drug and alcohol use by the abuser, and previous experiences of sexual abuse among the victims. However, these factors are perceived as more controversial and the research is far from conclusive (Frieze, 1983; Russell, 1990; Whatley, 1996).

THE EFFECTS OF MARITAL RAPE Despite the historical myth that rape by one’s partner is a relatively insignificant event causing little trauma, research indicates that marital rape often has severe and long-lasting consequences for women. The physical effects of marital rape may include injuries to the vaginal and anal areas, lacerations, soreness, bruising, torn muscles, fatigue and vomiting (Adams, 1993; Bergen, 1996). Women who have been battered and raped by their husbands may suffer other physical consequences including broken bones, black eyes, bloody noses, and knife wounds that occur during the sexual violence. Campbell and Alford (1989) report that one half of the marital rape survivors in their sample were kicked, hit or burned during sex. Specific gynecological consequences of marital rape include vaginal stretching, miscarriages, stillbirths, bladder infections, infertility and the potential contraction of sexually transmitted diseases including HIV (Campbell & Alford, 1989). Some researchers have compared the psychological effects of being raped by one’s partner to other forms of violence. Given that women who are raped by their partners are likely to experience multiple assaults, completed sexual attacks, and rape by someone that they once presumably loved and trusted, it is not surprising that marital rape survivors seem to suffer severe and long-term psychological consequences (Kilpatrick, Best, Saunders, & Vernon, 1988; Frieze, 1983). Similar to other survivors of sexual violence, some of the short-term effects of marital rape include anxiety, shock, intense fear, depression, suicidal ideation, and post-traumatic stress disorder (Bergen, 1996; Kilpatrick et al., 1988; Russell, 1990). Compared to women raped by strangers and those whom they don’t know well, marital rape survivors report even higher rates of anger and depression (Koss, Dinero, Siebel, & Cox, 1988). Long-term effects often include disordered eating, sleep problems, depression, problems establishing trusting relationships, and increased negative feelings about themselves (Bergen, 1996; Frieze, 1983). Research has also indicated that the psychological effects are likely to be long lasting—some marital rape survivors report flash-backs, sexual dysfunction, and emotional pain for years after the violence (Bergen, 1996; Whatley, 1993). INTERVENTION WITH MARITAL RAPE SURVIVORS Experts estimate that survivors of marital rape are less likely than other survivors of violence to report their assaults to formal service providers, friends, or family members. This estimation is grounded in studies that show women who are raped by acquaintances are less likely than those raped by strangers to report their assaults (Koss et al., 1988; Mahoney & Williams, 1998). Reporting rape in marriage may become even more complicated because of a woman’s relationship to her assailant. Women raped by their husbands may hesitate to report because of family loyalty, fear of their abuser’s retribution, inability to leave the relationship, or they may not know that rape in marriage is against the law. Furthermore, many researchers have written about the discomfort that women feel when they discuss the sexual violence experienced with their partners (Bergen, 1996; Browne, 1987; Russell, 1990). A final compelling reason for women’s under-reporting is that many do not define their experiences of forced sex in marriage as rape. Some believe that only stranger rape is “real rape;” and other women see sex in marriage as an obligation and define forced sex as a “wifely duty,” not rape (Bergen, 1996). If they do not define their experiences as rape, women are unlikely to seek outside assistance to stop the violence. Research indicates that when women do seek assistance for marital rape, there is often a failure on behalf of others including police officers, religious advisers, battered women’s shelter advocates, and rape crisis counselors to provide adequate assistance. The following sections will address each of these groups of service providers. Police There is a large body of research that addresses the inadequate response of the police to the problem of wife abuse (e.g. Pagelow, 1992; Saunders & Size, 1986; Stanko, 1985). The limited research on the question of police response to marital rape reveals an equally dismal picture. The majority of women reporting their assaults to the police in studies by Bergen (1996), Frieze (1983) and Russell (1990) found the police to be unresponsive. Bergen’s (1996) interviews with marital rape survivors reveal that when police officers learn that the assailant is the woman’s husband, they may fail to respond to a call from a victim of marital rape, refuse to allow a woman to file a complaint, and/or refuse to accompany her to the hospital to collect medical evidence. Frieze (1983) argues that police officers are even less responsive to survivors of marital rape than they are to battered women. Recommendations for police departments include educating officers about the reality of wife rape; teaching officers how to sensitively ask women about sexual violence when they respond to domestic violence calls; confronting sexist attitudes that assume women are the property of their husbands and, thus, unrapeable; holding police departments accountable for their non-responsiveness; and involving more women police officers in domestic violence and rape cases (Bergen, 1996; Russell, 1990). Religious Advisors Many women do not feel comfortable contacting the police, and alternatively choose to speak with their religious advisers. Researchers have found that support for women in violent relationships is not always forthcoming from religious advisers. In a study of battered women, Bowker (1983) found that they ranked clergy members as the least helpful of those to whom they had turned for assistance. The emphasis of some religious institutions on wives’ responsibility “to obey their husbands” and the sinfulness of women’s refusal to have sexual intercourse with their husbands, perpetuate the problem of marital rape. Yllo and LeClerc (1988) and Adams (1993) offer several recommendations for religious advisors to assist marital rape survivors, including: inviting women to speak about their experiences of sexual violence, helping women to name their experiences as “rape,” focusing on the responsibility of the abuser and not the wife, and working to challenge social conventions that perpetuate marital rape. Battered Women’s Shelters and Rape Crisis Centers Two major sources of potential support for survivors of marital rape are battered women’s shelters and rape crisis centers. Research indicates that many of these organizations have failed to adequately address the problem of marital rape (Bergen, 1996; Russell, 1990; Thompson-Haas, 1987). A survey of battered women’s shelters and rape crisis centers in the United States by Bergen in 1995 revealed several deficiencies in the services being provided. For example, less than half of battered women’s shelter programs (42%) and 79% of rape crisis centers provide training on marital rape specifically to their staff members and volunteers. Bergen’s (1996) research also revealed that only 2% of battered women’s shelters and rape crisis centers provide a support group specifically for marital rape survivors. Interviews with survivors of marital rape indicate that they have different needs than battered-only women and those raped by someone other than their partners (Bergen, 1996; Hanneke & Shields, 1985). Finally, although rape crisis centers and battered women’s shelters routinely ask women about previous experiences of sexual and physical violence, fewer than half (42%) regularly asked women about experiences of marital rape. Specifically, only 17% of rape crisis centers routinely ask about rape by a partner. Asking sensitive questions about marital rape is critical because women are unlikely to volunteer this information on their own. Furthermore, merely asking if one has “ever been raped?” is insufficient because so many marital rape survivors do not identify the sexual violence as rape. Instead, women should be questioned about their partners “forcing them to do things sexually they are uncomfortable with,” “pressuring them to have intercourse,” “forcing them to have sex against their will” and so forth (Bergen, 1996; Hanneke, Shields, & McCall, 1986; Russell, 1990). Once these questions are asked, service providers must be prepared to bear witness to the stories that many survivors of marital rape will share. Bergen’s (1996) research indicated that many service providers were uncomfortable hearing about women’s experiences of sexual violence and felt that they lacked the information needed to adequately respond to these women. Training specifically on marital rape is critical for staff members and volunteers; such programs should comprehensively address characteristics of marital rape and how to identify survivors, the state’s laws on marital rape, and counseling techniques. Rape crisis centers and battered women’s shelters can provide a variety of other services for marital rape survivors including shelter, medical and legal advocacy. Many marital rape survivors would benefit from counseling. Ideally, a program would provide individual counseling as well as a group specifically for survivors of marital rape. Alternatively, offering survivors of marital rape the options of joining support groups for sexual assault survivors, battered women, or both, is beneficial, as individual women will define their needs differently. Finally, it is necessary for both battered women’s shelters and rape crisis programs to claim ownership of this problem. This can happen by including marital rape in the mission statement, providing educational programs to the community, and distributing literature on rape in marriage. Providing outreach to certain groups such as people with disabilities, and those in rural areas, samesex relationships and non-English speaking communities who may be unaware of available services is particularly critical. There are many other professionals who are in positions to assist marital rape survivors and there is a small body of research that addresses specific types of assistance. For example, Weingourt (1985) provides information for how those in the psychiatric community can identify and treat marital rape survivors in their practices. Given the physical and specifically gynecological effects of marital rape, medical professionals are important resources for marital rape survivors (see Campbell, 1989; Campbell & Alford, 1989). nally, Eskow (1996) provides a detailed analysis REFERENCES of California’s spousal rape law and some thoughts on how to reform the strategies of prosecutors and educate jury pools in order to improve the treatment of marital rape survivors in court. She suggests challenging rape myth acceptance by focusing on the trauma associated with marital rape and introducing victim syndrome evidence through expert witnesses. CONCLUSIONS Despite the fact that marital rape has not been criminalized for long in the United States, it is clearly a serious form of violence against women and worthy of public attention. The research to date indicates that women who are raped by their husbands are likely to experience multiple assaults and often suffer severe long-term physical and emotional consequences. Marital rape may be even more traumatic than rape by a stranger because a wife lives with her assailant and she may live in constant terror of another assault whether she is awake or asleep. Given the serious effects, there is clearly a need for those who come into contact with marital rape survivors to provide assistance and challenge the prevailing myth that rape by one’s spouse is inconsequential. Rape crisis counselors and advocates for battered women are in particularly important leadership positions to address the problem of marital rape in society and to assist survivors of this form of violence. In the future, researchers should continue to try to determine the prevalence of this problem in society through the use of large, nationally representative samples (Mahoney & Williams, 1998). More research on the effects of marital rape, particularly for pregnant women and the children who witness the sexual violence is necessary. Additionally, researchers should investigate the motivations for why men rape their wives and address prevention and treatment strategies. Author of this document: Raquel Kennedy Bergen, Ph.D. St. Joseph’s University Department of Sociology Adams, C. (1993). I just raped my wife! What are you going to do about it, pastor? In E. Buchwald, P. Fletcher, & M. Roth (Eds.), Transforming a rape culture (pp. 57-86). Minneapolis, MN: Milkweed Editions. Barshis, V. (1983). The question of marital rape. Women’s Studies International Forum, 6, 383- 393. Bergen, R. K. (1996). Wife rape: Understanding the response of survivors and service providers. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Bidwell, L., & White, P. (1986). The family context of marital rape. The Journal of Family Violence, 1, 277-287. Bowker, L. (1983). Beating wife beating. Lexington, MA: Lexington Books. Browne, A. (1993). Report of the Council on Scientific Affairs. I-91. Prepared for the American Medical Association. Browne, A. (1987). When battered women kill. New York: The Free Press. Campbell, J. C. (1989). Women’s responses to sexual abuse in intimate relationships. Health Care for Women International, 10, 335-346. Campbell, J. C., & Alford, P. (1989). The dark consequences of marital rape. American Journal of Nursing, 89, 946-949. Dobash, R. E., & Dobash, R. (1992). Women, violence and social change. London: Routledge. Drucker, D. (1979). The common law does not support a marital exemption for forcible rape. Women’s Rights Law Reporter, 5, 2-3.

Are you in an abusive relationship?

The answer is YES if your partner...

* Withholds approval, appreciation or affection as punishment.

* Continually criticizes you, calls you names or shouts at you.

* Ignores your feelings.

* Ridicules or insults your most valued beliefs, your religion, race, family or class

* Is very jealous, harasses you about imagined affairs.

* Manipulates you with lies and contradictions.

* Insist that you dress the way he/she wants.

* Takes away car keys or money

* Subjects you to reckless driving.

* Locks you out of the house.

* Throws objects at you.

* Threatens you with violence.

* Abuses pets to hurt you.

* Punches, shoves, slaps, bites, kicks, chokes or hits you.

* Rapes you.

* Threatens to kidnap the children if you leave.

* Threatens to commit suicide if you leave.

How victims can assist when police respond to a domestic violence call!

* Try to stay calm.
* Describe the incident in detail.
* Show the police any injuries, bruises, or damaged property.
* Inform the officers of any witnesses.
* Tell the officers about other violent incidents.
* Show the officers any court documents you have, such as a No-Contact Restraining, Anti-harassment, or Order for Protection.
* Ask the officers for community resources such as shelters, hotlines, counseling and advocacy.
* Ask the officers for the case number of the report and a phone number if you want to follow up on the case
You can call AWAIC’s crisis line, 907-272-0100, 24-hours a day to speak with a trained advocate.


CHECKLIST - WHAT YOU NEED TO TAKE WHEN YOU LEAVE:
* Identification
* Drivers license
* Child's birth certificate
* Money
* Lease, rental agreement, house deed
* Checkbooks
* Insurance papers
* House and car keys
* Medications
* Address book
* Pictures
* Medical records (all family members)
* Social Security card
* School records
* Work permits
* Green card
* Passport
* Divorce papers

(source from www.awaic.org/leaving.html)

Lesbian and Gay Partner Abuse and Rape *I am still collecting information on this form of partner and marital rape, I am finding that there is not much information on it... when I find more I will add!

Lesbians report “physically or mentally coercive sex” more
often than do gay men. One study found that thirty-one
percent of lesbians reported forced sexual encounters
versus twelve percent of gay men. (Scholars have presumed
that lesbians and gay men disagree on what is
considered “aggressive.” Often, lesbian reports contain
statements of how they were emotionally abused as well as
physically abused. Moreover, lesbians are often times more
“sensitized” to “sexual coercion” and can more easily
identify it, while gay men more often consider “coercion as
fair play.”) (Schwartz and Rutter, 67)

1 in 10 rape victims are men. (Rathus, Nevid and Fichner-Rathus, 568)
- In a survey answered by hundreds of rape and sexual assault support agencies, they estimated that 93.7 percent of male rape perpetrators are male and 6.3 percent were female. (Greenberg, Bruess and Haffner, 575)
- Many people do not believe that male rape by a female exists. However, penile erection can be achieved under emotional duress such as anger, fear, and pain even if the male does not wish it. (Greenberg, Bruess and Haffner, 576; Lips, 234)

* In a study of 162 gay men and 111 lesbians, 52% reported at least one incident of sexual coercion by same-sex partners. Gay men experienced 1.6 incidents per person, while lesbians experienced 1.2 incidents per person. (Waldner-Haugrud, et al., 1997. "Sexual Coercion in Gay/Lesbian Relationships: Descriptives and Gender Differences." Violence and Victims, 12 (1))

15% of men who lived with a man as a couple reported being raped/assaulted or stalked by a male cohabitant. (Saltzman, et al., 1999. National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. Intimate Partner Violence Surveillance: Uniform definitions and recommended data elements.)

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Report Rape!
If you need help call 911 or your local police station. some Links that can help:
www.rapeis.org
www.RAINN.org
www.thesite.org
www.teenadvice.about.com
www.rapecrisis.org.uk
www.survive.org.uk


Women who are raped by their husbands are likely to be raped many times. They experience not only vaginal rape, but also oral and anal rape. Researchers generally categorize marital rape into three types:
Force-only rape: The husband uses only the amount of force necessary to coerce their wives.
Battering rape: Husbands rape and batter their wives. The battering may happen concurrently or before or after the sexual assault.
Sadistic /obsessive rape:Husbands use torture or perverse sexual acts. Pornography is often involved.


Women are at particularly high risk for being raped by their partners under the following circumstances:
*Women married to domineering men who view them as "property"
* Women who are in physically violent relationships
* Women who are pregnant
* Women who are ill or recovering from surgery
* Women who are separated or divorced


Sexual assault is one of the most underreported of all crimes. Victims do not report for a number of reasons, which can include, but are not limited to: *Shame
*Fear of retaliation
*Fear of being blamed
*Uncertain whether a crime has been committed
*Fear of not being believed
*Embarrassment


Healing begins with having a safe place or person to talk with about the sexual assault. Since victims may not recognize the assault as "rape" and may be confused by their feelings, it is important to open a line of communication. Some questions to ask that might open this line, without making the victim feel threatened or making the victim identify the incident as a "rape" are: *Has your partner ever made you have sex when you didn’t want to?
*Have you ever been uncomfortable with a sexual request from your partner, but did it anyway?
*Have you ever had sex with your partner because you were afraid to say "no"?
*Have you ever given into sex because your partner would not stop harassing you about it?
(sited form www.star.ak.org/Library/files/maritalrape)

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     The fight against Marital Rape's Details
Status:In a Relationship
Orientation:Straight
Zodiac Sign:Libra
Children:Proud parent
Education:In college



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   The fight against Marital Rape's Blurbs
About me:
Dearest Visitor,
Thank you for visiting my site. There is a lot of information on here. And I hope you can use it. Or share it with someone that needs it. I feel as if it is my duty to inform you that I am no longer checking this site on a regular basis. If you need immediate help Please contact your local police station, womans center, hospital, or womans shelter. You can find most of this information in the front of the phone book. Or by calling the telephones operator. I wish you all the best in the world. I pray that this fight is continued and With your help I know we will win. Take great care of you.
Sincerely,
Rebecca Clifford
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I stayed with him because he never punched me.When he punches me, then I will leave. Then I can justify leaving.
What?! Who was this girl? I am blessed to say that, that was the old me. I don't know that girl anymore. With saying that, I feel as part of MY healing process. I will share what and how I have healed.
I started this site on Nov. 3rd, 2006. I started it right after I got off the phone with my Ex-husband. Me in tears, he told me that he conveniently forgot that he raped me. I wish I had the same Convenience. I was raped by my (then) husband in September 2005. I no longer remember the exact date. Which is good. I am finally moving on. I used to have nightmares. But through counseling- I know they won't ever completely go away. But for know I have gotten strong enough to keep them at bay.
I know for a fact that when I made the decision to leave my Ex. I would never get into another abusive relationship again. I promised myself. But most importantly, I promised my daughter. With saying that. I did not know what to do. I had places to go. I had loving supportive places to go. But I did not know what to do. How to heal? I still thought like a victim. And that crushed me inside. I was able to get a terrific counselor who helped me. I have gotten stronger. And I am proud to say that I no longer think like a victim. Now I think like a survivor.
I had learned that not everything was my Ex's fault. That I too had bad habits and personal issues that contributed to the breakdown of our marriage. I am not giving him an excuse. But I am holding myself responsible for my share.
One of the most important things I have learned is why I stayed? Why did I stay... why did I ignore all the warning signs. Why did I forgive the first act of violence? The second? What was it in me that kept me there? When I knew better. I am happy to say that, I am still a work in progress, but I am better. Stronger, happier, confident, a better mom, and a better me, and I no longer have all those victims tendencies. I survive. I am a surviver and I always will be.

"When it is the person you have entrusted your life to who rapes you, it isn’t just physical or sexual assault, it is a betrayal of the very core of your marriage, of your person, of your trust."
(www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Articles/maritalrape.htm)


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I need you to get Pissed off... I need you to get to the point where you have had enough! Where you are not taking another second of this..... that.....everything.... until you get pissed off....you are still there.... not really living... waiting... to taste freedom again... to be proud of yourself again....So are you there yet??? Are you now pissed off?????
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Isn't it amazing! We have children with these men....The amazing part is, there will come a time when we will have to explain to our children that the one man in the world that was supposed to protect us. Did the opposite of that. We will have to work twice as hard to assure that our son's do not grow up to rape and that our daughters do not fall for the men that do. Its hard, long, and at times too much... But it is a struggle that we will have to embrace and win!
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.. ..
Who I'd like to meet:


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"Rape really is a way of killing a person, but then asking them to get up afterwards. So it's a way of stealing one's spirit, but somehow they're supposed to keep going."

I have added this video because I think everyone needs to see it. Abuse among law enforcement is Very High. Both as cililan and Military. I know because the man who raped and abused me was Military Police for the Army. The more we know the better we do. Lets use our new knowledge and Reap its powers! Thank you for posting this video. Please visit http://www.myspace.com/tacoma_taser for more information.



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If there is any information that you need that is not on here...Please feel free to contact me or check out any of my beautiful friends! There are a lot of different causes on my friends list and a lot of information.... Please add them and show your support!
Please feel free to visit and add my other Myspace profile to your friends list... it's #1 on my profile...

   The fight against Marital Rape's Friend Space (Top 24)
The fight against Marital Rape has 2394 friends.
 Don't Be Silenced 


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 Invisible Children 


 Tom 





The fight against Marital Rape's Friends Comments
Displaying 25 of 1544 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
linette

linette



Sep 11 2009 9:08 PM

thx for the add...have a great week
Official Peaceful Solution Site

Official Peaceful Solution



Sep 11 2009 12:22 AM

We are devoted to promoting character education as the main tool for positive character development. Tell us what you think & help us educate today for peace tomorrow!
To Change The Hearts And Minds-Part 1!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yUD9pvPy_g&feature=PlayList&p=70538298FC141BB9&index=3
The Way of Christ Ministry - Pastor Rick von Eye

Richard Von Eye



Sep 11 2009 12:21 AM

"Psalms 118:4 Let them now that
fear the LORD say, that his mercy
endureth for ever. 5 I called upon
the LORD in distress: the LORD
answered me, and set me in a
large place. 6 The LORD is on my
side; I will not fear: what can man
do unto me?
Proverbs 11:8 The righteous is
delivered out of trouble, and the
wicked cometh in his stead.
Romans 8:31 What shall we then
say to these things? If God be for
us, who can be against us?"

To stand strong in this spiritual
battle is our part. It is God's
power that provides the victory
when we stand strong. Our God
fights for us.

God bless your heart .

Your brother and servant in Christ,
Pastor Rick
TAT SISTERS/ TAMMY OWNER (WV) LADIE'S ONLY

Terrific all together Tammy
Online Now!


Aug 12 2009 2:58 PM

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY & IT IS A BLESSING TO HAVE YOU AND ALSO WE ARE JUST STARTING OUT AND IF YOU OR ANY ONE YOU KNOW THAT MAY HAVE 1 -2 EXTRA HOURS A DAY TO BE A TAT PARTNER & HELP OUT BY GIVING HOPE AND LOVE TO OTHERS PLEASE LET ME KNOW,
TAT IS GOING NATION WIDE AND WE HOPE TO FIND GOOD PARTNERS IN EACH STATE , SOME ONE THAT WILL REPRESENT THEIR STATE AND TAT WITH LEADERSHIP SKILLS AND GRACE. ALSO WE NEED TO GET ASSISTANTS FOR EACH STATE TO HELP THE PARTNERS , SO IF YOU THINK YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE A TAT PARTNER OR ASST LET US KNOW !! JUST SEND ME A MEMO TO MY EMAIL IN MYSPACE OR SEND ME AN IM TO tat_sisters @yahoo I WILL GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU AND TALK TO SEE IF IT'S WHAT YOUR REALLY INTERESTED IN. IT DOES NOT REQUIRE 40 HRS A WEEK BUT AT LEAST AN HOUR OR TWO EACH DAY FOR THIS WILL HELP ALL STAFF TO BE ABLE TO KEEP UP AND HELP OTHERS.. SO COME JOIN TAT IN HELPING OTHERS WITH LOVE AND SUPPORT ON A BAD DAY OR IN A BAD SITUATION!.. BUT ALSO IF YOU ARE IN NEED TO TALK TO SOME ONE THEN WE ARE HERE 24/7 I MAKE PHONE CALLS ALSO. JUST COME CHECK US OUT AND SEE WHAT WE ARE ABOUT AND YOU WILL SEE TAT IS FOR REAL!! ALSO IF YOU GET THE CHANCE READ OUR BLOGS AND SEE WHY I STARTED TAT , IT'S WONDERFUL TO HAVE YOU AND I HOPE TO HAVE YOU AROUND FOR ALL THE JOY TO COME TO TAT YEARS FROM NOW ALSO PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT OUR PHOTO ALBUM AND LET US KNOW IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE IN OUR SISTERS ALBUM WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU IN IT BUT IF NOT THAT'S OK WE UNDERSTAND ,HUGS AND GOD BLESS ,TAMMY AND THE TAT STAFF.
Official Peaceful Solution Site

Official Peaceful Solution



Aug 12 2009 2:55 PM

Check out what educators across the nation are saying about the PSCEP...
"This is an exceptional program which will meet the needs of educators to provide direction for the lives of our children so they may live in peace and security, rather than violence and instability. ...The Peaceful Solution Incorporated is quite an outstanding organization. Your character education curricula clearly demonstrate practicality, applicability and solutions to the problems we face today. ...I am pleased to support your character education program." ~Cecil J. Picard, Louisiana State Superintendent of Education
We are devoted to promoting character education as the main tool for positive character development.

Tell us what you think & help us educate today for peace tomorrow!
Bobbie

Bobbie



Aug 12 2009 2:55 PM

thanks for the add friend. hugs and love
+Cyndie.

+Cyndie.
Online Now!


Aug 12 2009 2:55 PM

Thank You My Friend And God Bless You.

Psalm 63
1~O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;

2~To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.

3~Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.

4~Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.
jj, he cant help it

jj, he cant help it



Jul 29 2009 9:14 PM

I caught the gaze reflecting from the pool, sight seeing into nowhere and nowhere looking cruel. And as a single tear fell from the sky it cut through all emotions while never asking why. But in the ripple I saw what appeared to be, another person all together precious as can be. Wading through the shallow parts into the ocean deep, I know it lies within you these whispers and these dreams. It is my desire to find them, draw them to the top, so all will see this beauty I see, perhaps the world will stop. But you must find within yourself this beauty I behold. You must see that precious gaze reflecting from the pool.
Shawna

Shawn Yaroch



Jul 29 2009 9:14 PM

Thank you for the add. Did you know it was not until 1994 that the Violence against Women Act was passed? Before that, women were sexually assaulted and battered by their husbands and it was not considered a crime.
Shawna

Shawn Yaroch



Jul 29 2009 9:14 PM

The shadows of the women before us echo like a silent cry through our soul. We can almost hear their subtle whispers in the waves of the ocean or in the breeze that whistles through the trees. Each generation carrying their passions within; longing for their voice to be heard. Draw upon the strength of those before you and pave the path for equality and justice for the generations of daughters to follow…And know in your heart your pain and suffering was not in vain. -Shawn Stephens Moore
Girl Power!!!!

Girl Power!!!!



Jul 29 2009 9:14 PM

Hello
♥†♥Sharon♥†♥YourBeautifulSelf.com♥

♥†♥Sharon♥†♥YourBeautifulSelf.com♥



Jun 6 2009 5:07 PM

From My House To Yours......

I am truly blessed with the gift of your friendship. I'm very sorry that I haven't been in touch like I should have lately. With all that has been going on with Winston I have not gotten too many chances to be online. The weeks have really gone by fast. I praise God so much that Winston is improving and is almost back to 100%. Hopefully everything will be back to normal soon. Thank you for understanding and continuing to be my friend.

Love and Blessings Always,
Sharon & Family†
www.Wingrace.com
Barack Obama: HEALTHCARE BILL PASSED

Barack Obama:  HEALTHCARE BILL PASSED



May 5 2009 11:20 PM

Thanks for all that you do to make a difference in this World. I am so grateful for your friendship and for all that you do. I'll do my part to
keep the message moving. Much Love respect & gratitude!
Law Enforcement Today

LEo Law Enforcement today



May 5 2009 11:44 PM

COME JOIN US!!!

http://www.lawenforcementtoday.com
MERSY...aka DONE-DEAL

MERSY...aka DONE-DEAL



May 6 2009 1:48 PM

Blessings! Thanks For The Add! Your friendship is greatly valued and appreciated! I truly respect and support your cause, continue doing what you do for those who have or may be going thru marital rape. And the blessings of God be upon you! Be Blessed, Stay Blessed, And Be A Blessing! -Mersy- Follow Me @ (twitter.com/mersydonedeal) Stop by my page and sign my guestbook, and drop me a voice comment. I will surely return the love! Thank You!
Time

Time Passages



May 7 2009 3:07 AM

WELCOME, AND THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING OUR ELDERS. PLEASE SIGN OUR PROFILE GUESTBOOK WHEN YOU HAVE TIME TO FURTHER THAT SUPPORT. - DIANE
Pieces of Me

Pieces of Me



May 7 2009 3:48 AM

thanks for the add!
Official Myspace Princessofstreets

Princessofstreets P



May 7 2009 5:54 PM

Thank you very much for your support.

Nothing is impossible.

Together, we can fight against the sexual exploitation and the traffic of the children in the world.

Thank you very much for your kindness.

Thank you very much for your friendship.

Princessofstreets
Her Fearless Heart

Her Fearless Heart



May 9 2009 2:02 PM

Hey,
Thanks for the add :)
How are you?
Take care
xx
HFH - her fearless heart
Warriors For Jesus Christ Ministry

Shane  Mary ann Wells



Apr 8 2009 2:53 PM

GOD BLESS YOU THANKS FOR THE ADD.
Justice for Caylee

 Justice for Caylee



Apr 6 2009 12:42 AM

Thank you and blessed be
Alianza

Alianza



Apr 8 2009 4:44 PM

Thank you for adding Alianza to your ‘friends’ and helping us in our initiative to come together to eliminate domestic violence among the Latin community. We are 1 of the 5 domestic violence cultural institutes and a part of a national effort to address the domestic violence needs and concerns of under-served populations. With your help, we hope to continue to move forward with a passionate commitment to our mission. We invite you and your friends to visit our page and help us in our endeavors by spreading the word about our organization. Thank you for strengthening and supporting our efforts. Together, we can all make a difference. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ CALL FOR ARTISTS/CALL FOR RECIPES!!! ALIANZA will be publishing a Latino Cookbook with all proceeds going to our organization, The National Latino Alliance for the Elimination of Domestic Violence. We are seeking survivors, victims, advocates, organizations, or individuals who simply care about our cause to JOIN IN OUR EFFORTS! Please see our blog for details and deadlines and share this information with your friends! =)
Tera

Tera



Apr 12 2009 3:04 PM

HAPPY EASTER ..LOVE TERA
ELDER SOLOMON N HORSEY

ELDER SOLOMON N HORSEY
Online Now!


Apr 16 2009 7:52 PM

" WE JUST STOPED BY TO SAY HELLO AND GOD BLESS-YA! " WE LOVE YOU! HAVE A BLESSED DAY IN THE LORD. PASTOR SOLOMON & FIRST LADY NOVELLA HORSEY.
ELDER SOLOMON N HORSEY

ELDER SOLOMON N HORSEY
Online Now!


Apr 16 2009 7:52 PM

" WE JUST STOPED BY TO SAY HELLO AND GOD BLESS-YA! " WE LOVE YOU! HAVE A BLESSED DAY IN THE LORD. PASTOR SOLOMON & FIRST LADY NOVELLA HORSEY.
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