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Nicotine, Valium, Vikodin, Marijuna, Ecstasy, Alcohol co-co-co Coco Pops. No shit! Ide rather have a bowl of Coco Pops. Susan Boyle (when she bumps you), Jeremy Kyle (When he snakes yer bird), Drinking games innit?, Puppets, Other peoples misfortunes, Homemade soup that knocks you unconscious, Fun days out at Saltcoats beach, Being attacked by bouncers, Handcuffs that break your wrist, Credit crunch when it was tender- before it was crunchy, Giraffe Flu, Cat flu, One flew over the cukoos nest flu,Mystic Meg, 10 Mayfair and a bottle of cider, Bombay badboys, Getting hired and being fired, Bank Charges, Fag doubt fines, Why is the cabbage? , Drinking outside and smoking inside, Pat Sharps Jumbo circus of hamster wheel fun, teleportation, being patronized at the bru, Dial a swally, sedation, Inflation and masterbation, Bad language, Ducks that bring their own loaf, Mr. Miagi.. s paintstripper, Clownface Pigeons of Babylon, Meaningless pebbles of the Mechanical Chicken, Bon Jovi for Bampots, Shep and Porkies Farmyard Adventures, Livestock, Deadstock, Stock cubes, Remember Timmy Mallet? He was one sick puppie, Terry Wogan cause hes always looks like he..s up to something, The baffled Steve McDonald ..cause he s always looking baffled, Crisis Loan rejection, 35 year olds being I.D..ed for skins, Dinosaurs with spikes, Button moon, Talking animals, Vague Horoscopes, Scotrail fare evasion, Joe Pesci in a que, circular time machines, Talking in your sleep- saying things like ..Bung it in the microwave then its full steam ahead.., Lunacy, Electrical storms that save you money on powercards, Jeremy Clarkson driving a shitty moped, Bernard Matthews babysitting your turkey, A number that starts with the letter J, Giro Groupies, Box-wars, Bulb juice, Being Boo..ed by the enemy, Did Charlie Nicholas just call me a Puffin?, Here is this now, You think you can defeat me by cheating?, just call me a prick?, Get a job! Got a job? then Get a REAL job! Got a real job? Get another job!

George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Charlie Brooker, Eric Cartman, Jeremy Kyle, Randy Marsh, Joe Pesci, Irvine Welsh

Stone Roses, Pink Floyd, Rage Against the Machine, Immortal Technique, Beerjacket, Minimal Techno, Clinker, Aphex Twin, Mogwai, Nick Cave, Madskull, Glasvegas, The Prodigy, Beta Band, Brian Jones Town Massacre, Sister Bliss, Radiohead, Nas, Dr. Dre, Faithless, Eminem, Tricky, Jesus & Mary Chain, Ol Dirty Bastard, Arab Strap, Mercury Rev, LSD and the Search for God, Underworld, Flaming Lips, Charlatans, Fun Lovin Criminals, Jaydiohead, DJ Shadow, The list goes on and on HAZY- Radiohead, Muse, Pink Floyd