The Emperor, Dungeons & Dragons, cryptozoology, bacon, fire, Judas Priest, Kiss, Jim Gillette's metal technique, Sharky's Machine, and Chun from Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins--because he can hear the sound of your flexor tendons as you try to squeeze the trigger and can dodge bullets.
The Hydrogen Hell Horses—drummer Paul Maul H., bassist Four Shaking Cables, vocalist Skullator, and guitarist Julius J. Juicebone—formed in 1987 in Churchville, PA, a bucolic Philadelphia suburb. Juicebone remembers: “The mid-80s were a turbulent time. I remember being discriminated against when I attempted to buy Armored Saint’s first album at the Listening Booth in Neshaminy Mall. The jerk working there thought heavy metal was dumb and he made fun of me. If it weren’t for the fact that I was only 15, and didn’t have a lot of arm strength, I would’ve punched him in the face.”
Indeed, it was a heady time for the four young Horsemen and the heavy metal music they loved. Kiss was about to release Crazy Nights. Rob Halford was still in the closet. And a young environmentalist named Al Gore was preoccupied with his wife’s crusade to destroy all things metal and hard rock.
“In forming this band,” says vocalist Skullator, “we knew that we had to raise our game. We had to be an aural assault—double entendre intended. We believe that the wand is mightier than the sword.”
The Hydrogen Hell Horses’ self titled debut—over 20 years in the making and clocking in at almost 27 minutes—is a testament to their belief in the power of metal. One listen to the Judas Priest-inspired “Skeletonizer” will leave you fully skeletonized, meaning all of your flesh will be burned off. So you only get to listen to it once.
“But it’s not just bands like Priest and AC/DC who influenced us,” says Juicebone. “We draw influences from all over the artistic spectrum, from the cinema to fine literature. For instance, when young kids come up to us and ask for tips, we tell them not to practice. We say ‘Put down the guitar and start reading your Dungeons & Dragons Monster Manual. Start watching 80’s cop movies like Sharky’s Machine and Nighthawks. And start paying attention to the gorgons and evil court jesters you see in your dreams. Only then will you be a complete musician.’”
In addition to its sonic muscle and ribald lyrics, the Hell Horses’ debut also contains two very special guest appearances, one by Angus Scrimm, better known as the Tall Man from the Phantasm films, and another by George Lynch, former guitarist for 80’s metal legends Dokken.
“It’s not easy to get stars of that caliber on your record,” says drummer Paul Maul H. “You have to have the stones to walk up to them and ask them to read a script into a cell phone. Other bands don’t have those kind of stones. You only get them by possessing a dark magic, and that dark magic is ours.”
Ultimately, the future looks bright for the Hydrogen Hell Horses. Not content to simply record and play live, the band has bigger dreams. “We intend to capture on film the actual Hydrogen Hell Horse,” says Juicebone, referring to the Bigfoot-like creature which the band is named after. Old timers in Churchville still spin yarns to this day about the beastly equine monster with silver eyes and a mane of hissing albino asps which haunts the woods of Bucks County. “We want to find it, document its existence for the sake of science, and then possibly ride it back into Hell so we can deliver a copy of our album to Satan himself, our master,” Juicebone concludes, wiping away a single tear. “I guess we’re just kind of sentimental that way.”
The HYDROGEN HELL HORSES are simply one of my favorite bands. I'm honored to be on their friend list. I eagerly await the HHH debut album which has been a long time coming. Also, I am real fired up for the upcoming show at the Khyber. Finally, I'd like to say that I enjoy watching the HORSES carrying the hydrogen torch proudly into the hard rockin' future ---so good travels guys...and try not to burn your fingers too much! SINCERE MOLTEN REGARDS---Hugh :)
