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The Masonics - a winning combination of Milkshakes, Pop Rivets, Wildebeests, Kaisers, film editors, Micky & Ludellas, Vectors, Headcoats, commercial artists, Kravin "A"s, Auntie Vegetables and landscape gardeners.
(Not bad, seeing as there's only three of 'em.)
THE MASONICS ARE...
- MICK 'THE MILK' HAMPSHIRE: singing & 6-string guitar
- BRUCE 'BASH' BRAND: traps & backing vocals
- JOHN 'LARDY' GIBBS: bottom guitar & backing vocals
- (with thanks to former bass-jockeys: Johnny Barker, Johnny Johnson & Liam Watson)
Having attended the same secret lodge - the Omnipotent Order of Eccentric Rapscallions (OOER) - together for 25-odd years, our three heroes were united in their cause when they were elected to search the UK for a sacrificial virgin to be deflowered at the sacred Dodecacentenial Orgy (or 'DO' for short).
A 16-year search - during which Micky was mistakenly assumed to be missing, presumed unable to take the pace - yielded nothing. In short, they had no joy, neither on their home turf nor during a brief sojourn to western Europe. (Hence their anticipated presence in the Promised Land).
To lure their prey they hit on the ingenious plan of disguising themselves as a musical 'rock-group' (presently very popular among young folk we are led to believe).
Therefore, we urge all parents, siblings, friends, acquaintances and cohorts of any known (or not) unblemished no-tails, (irrespective of age, race, creed, cooking-ability etc.) to attend the soon to be announced Masonic gatherings, accompanied by same.
Your assistance in this matter is greatly appreciated.
Note: We would like to thank ourselves for allowing whippersnapper colonial upstarts The Wh*te Str*pes to close a series of performances for us in the early part of this century, during their maiden voyage to This Great Country Of Ours. (Crumbs! etc.)
DISCOGRAPHY:
ALBUMS:
- THE MASONICS (Hangman) 1991
- SILENTLY BY NIGHT (Little Teddy Recordings) 1998
- DOWN AMONG THE DEAD MEN (Sympathy for the Record Industry) 1998
- THE MASONIC MACHINE TURNS ON YOU! (Vinyl Japan) 2003
- LIVE IN LONDON (SmartGuy) 2004
- OUTSIDE, LOOKING IN (Vinyl Japan) 2005
- ROYAL & ANCIENT (Circle Records) New album recorded at Circo Perrotti Studios, Gijon. Out NOW!
SINGLES & EPs:
- Empty Shell Of A Man/You Just Dont Care/Tell That To A Hungry Man/Why Did She Have To Go (Wonderlamp) 1994
- In A Mans Heart/Hey Calinda / She Cut Me To The Bone (Royal Records) 1995
- Mumbo Jumbo/Good Or BadDont Complain/Creature Called Doubt (Little Teddy) 1995
- The Earl Of Hell/Upside Down Man / Never So Sad (Super-Electro) 1997
- Skull Of A Man (featuring Miss Ludella Black) (SmartGuy) 2004
- When You Cry At Night / Where's Johnny Moped Now? (Slovenly 702-58) 2006
- Sometimes Friend (feat. Ludella Black) / Hungry Monkey (Circle) Later in 2008
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