“Folks, the point of life is to memorize and believe in the events that took place in my life. As long as you know that I rose from the dead, you can actually forget about most of that 'Love thy neighbor' talk. I mean...I freakin' rose from the dead. How cool is that?” ~ Jesus
Ray, people will come, Ray. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway, not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. "Of course, we won't mind if you have a look around," you'll say. "It's only twenty dollars per person." They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it; for it is money they have and peace they lack.
...
And they'll walk out to the bleachers, and sit in shirt-sleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game, and it'll be as if they'd dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick, they'll have to brush them away from their faces.
...
People will come, Ray.
...
The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and it could be again. Ohhhhhhhh, people will come, Ray. People will most definitely come.
V For Vendetta, Scarface, Gandhi, The Untouchables, Menace II Society, The Big Lebowski, Half Baked, Back To The Future, Friday...
I like most anything with a good story and good acting. I like comedy, thrillers, mysteries...I like stories that fuck with my mind, stories that make me think. I also love mindless zombie movies and comedies that are so stupid they're funny. I also enjoy a good documentary, especially those that feature the mating habits of busty lesbians.
Television
I love cartoons, because I'm a baby. I love demented shit. [adult swim] I hate when shows are broadcast in letterbox. What's the fuckin' point of that?
Baseball, South Park, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Aqua Teens, Robot Chicken, A-Team, Monk, House, Bones, The 4400, Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law, Lil' Bush: Resident Of The United States, Lucy Daughter Of The Devil, Home Movies, Deadwood, Sopranos, Chappelle's Show...
Books
Someone read to me, I don't have time. I like to look at the pictures. Thanks Hef.
I use a lot of different names, like The Muthafuckin' D, Dyluminati, 3D, D, Don Wilson, Dick Deringer, The Almighty Dezus, Denver The Last Dinosaur, Dildo The Vibrating Dick, Justiceman, JusticeGentleman Of Justice, Pussy, etc... The important thing is the D. just remember the D, that's the important part. Call me what you want, just don't forget the D. Oh wait...douche starts with D. You can't use that one. Don't call me Douche. Unless you mean it like, "I'll get all up in that pussy and clean that muthafuckah out," then it's o.k. I have a super-sexy bio below, so go down, please, and read that, when you're done.
Put this link on your muthafuckin' profile & help let muthafuckaz know!
Copy and Paste the HTML below into any section of your MySpace profile. Fuckin' do it. Don't fuckin' argue with me, fuckin' do it. I'll fuckin' bite you.
It all started one winter day in Bodega Bay, CA, in a location where there is currently an Italian restaurant. My father's semen evacuted his one functional testicle and swam forthwith toward my mother's vagina, then uterus and finally her egg. One special sperm, one might even say "super" sperm, was the smartest, strongest and fastest of the bunch, of course there was only half the semen there would normally be if there were two fully functional testicles. This special, super sperm penatrated my mother's egg and a baby began to grow inside her. Or maybe I was adopted. Maybe I could still be adopted. Angelina? I do still breast-feed. I hope you don't mind.
It was shortly after that, within fuckin' weeks, my parents were evicted and rendered homeless. This is the point where someone with a brain, someone untainted by the 60s, would seek an abortion. My parents weren't quite that intelligent.
That's pretty much all there is to tell. Well, I started doing radio when I was in high school. My friend Noah Stevens had his very own radio show. Another friend, David Robinson, was assisting him. David knew I was the "CD Guy", because all the muthafuckaz in our class would borrow my discman all throughout every school day. People would literally seek me out to see what CDs I had with me that day. Noah and Dave began asking me to borrow some CDs for the show they were doing. After a while they just started bringing me up there with them. Eventually I inherited the show and ran with it.
After a while I started toying with the idea of making a website for the show, which would feature all the shit I have available for radio play. My brother's friend, Adam Taylor, who was also the little brother of my friend and co-host for a while, Kevin "Gumby" Taylor, jumped on it. He already had it designed and started before I was even fully commited to the idea. Literally without Adam, none of this would have been possible. I wouldn't even have known where to start. He started it and I just copied what he did and went from there, so, even though he hasn't actually worked on this site for years, his fingerprints are all over it. He taught me the most important thing about doing this, how to learn how to do shit.
Other than my cats, I love three things very much; music, baseball and comedy. I would love to pursue a career in any of those, but the first two already didn't work-out, so it's on to the third. I've been writing for years, lyrics, poems, stories, jokes... I compiled many of my poems and lyrics for my book Love, Life, Humor & Revolution: My Book Of Rhymes. I don't really like to write stories, so fuck them, but I didn't have an outlet for my jokes. I looked for comedy clubs nearby wherein I could possibly try out some of my jokes, but I couldn't find any. Being a huge fan of Hip-Hop, mixtapes are a part of my everyday life, so I picked up my microphone and started talking shit.
When I told Phil I was going to do a comedy mixtape, he loved the idea and immediatly volunteered to help. It was his idea to include Raul and Raul's idea to include Old Joe. Even though none of them actually appear on Let's Fuckin' Do This Or Jesus Is My Bitch, they all played a big part in making sure it was made.
facebook is so much better than myspace!! .......get one otay : ) i had a good birthday , went away to geyserville for the weekend gambled a little ...it was fun! are you livin in the bragg still or santa rosa:?
AYO WUT UP FAM, JUST DROPPIN A LIL LUV 2 DA PAGE N 2 LETCHA KNOW ABOUT MY NU HIT BEAT CALLED "RUNNIN THESE STREETS" ITS FIRE HOMIE, PLZ TAKE A VERY BUSY SEC OF UR DAY 2 LET A BROTHA KNOW WUTZ GOOD. OTHER THEN THAT HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH U N DA FAM!! 1LUV!
Sawatdii Pimaï! In Thai culture, it's customary for all unmarried women of child birthing age to produce a gag reel to celebrate the New Year. And thus...
We stand so vainly ,full pockets and bellies. Lazing around watching our wide screen tellies. Munching away on snacks upon snacks.
Cash in our cards and designer clothes on our backs! Do we stop to think about little maryam who is fighting for her life ,
or Ali across the sea who lost his kids and wife. How about Joseph who is just a 4 year old, scraping through the trash and dirt in agonising cold. Young and old suffering in this damned day and age, and we all sit responsible for their anger and their rage.
Give a little to those in need . Be the one to water the seed. Say a prayer ,the least you can do. Protect mankind so God protects you
It's going to be a busy weekend for me. Gonna be tons of milf's at the mall taking care of some last minute x-mas shopping. And I've got a fresh battery in my camera. I'm going to hang out on the upper level of the mall and zoom in down the shirts of the ladies below. Get some primo cleav-o shots. Wanna come along?
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