I have these brief momentary lapses where I don't encounter your memory for a couple of hours, maybe even part of a day. Then it comes. I see your name in random places, or hear a song that you liked, or something.... I always ask myself if I'm supposed to ignore those things or consider it as a sign of something larger.
I have days, sometimes a week of relative calm, and then someone will say something related to them, but resonates so strongly with me and how I'm missing you. The tears come, flooding, exposing me again to the rawness of your vacancy.
I know that both of us are doing what we need to do. I know that the moment, our moment isn't now. I don't want to get attached to the possiblity of someday. It hurts too much to consider that "someday" won't ever come. Does Someday ever come....no. But our now certainly could. And what I know for sure is that our now isn't now.
Our time together was relatively short and brief, but it was wonderful and amazing and absolutely full of possibilities.
You need time to adjust to your new situation. The euphoria of being on your own and the low of being alone when you ache to be with someone; those are great and inspiring moments. In that space things happen within us. It's where you're supposed to be. I am supposed to be living my life, doing my thing, figuring out what I want and don't want in a friendship and relationship and who I am within that context. It's becoming clearer.
Occasionally I'll hear people talking about their own friends who drifted apart for a while and then came back together...I always think of us in those moments.
I miss you....there's no way you could know how much.
Until Now.
Influences
Hello,
This is someday. Until now, I didn't know that you didn't know that someday's are made now. Someday's are stories we tell ourselves and each other to encourage the now to form into the kind of now we want someday to be. And if that's not stressing the point, you can only act now and now, and now and now, now, and now too.
It's the vision (though you might read and interpret that as division) and connecting it to the present
I know my vision, I know what can be done now. I know strength and I have known the depth of love - that never goes away. It's like riding a bike, visceral. No, it's like pouring rain, until now I didn't know you were soaked with me.
For now, how's that working out for you now? and now?
Now
Sounds Like
I have clung to a memory of how it was without remembering so much the way it became. What was dreamy euphoria for me when we were connected, together in our fascination with each other, turned to despair as you drifted away. So impersonal was your last communication to me. So distant and devoid of feeling it made you seem.
She did that to us. We were doomed from the start.
I tried to reach out to you once. I did not even recognize the indignant, apathetic stranger I encountered. I felt resented. Honestly.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I have left her behind and in my path ahead are the most turbulent trials of my existence. I will face them on my own and I will succeed. One thing I hope to have gained from knowing you is the will to persevere. I always admired that in you. Now I will revere it of myself.
The much trumpeted Wet Pizza Compilation is finally here! There are many artists on this compilation, with a few of them residing in Denver. The styles range from noise, gabber, industrial, all the way up to grindcore. Highly recommended experimental album, this release is a .zip file. Wet Pizza can be contacted at wetpizza@gmail.com. Enjoy!
Tracklist: 01 - lungscuzzler - Sewerboy.mp3 02 - Gross Dog - The Tickler.mp3 03 - Smoke Pot Til U Rot - Painus.mp3 04 - Drug Addict Maid Yakui - Princess Army Wedding Combat.mp3 05 - circles - DxDx.mp3 06 - UNTITLEMENT - Math You.mp3 07 - ball gag asphyxia - DLZN.mp3 08 - Heel - Wenapta.mp3 09 - Mourns the Loss of Your Mother - Nehemia Saint Danger.mp3 10 - disco enfermo - Sewerboy.mp3 11 - Smarmy Burrito - Painus.mp3 12 - bloody balls - The Tickler.mp3 13 - konata izumi is my dick 1 - Nurse With Geri.mp3 14 - To Bury a Parent - boodge.mp3
wowzer you're not gunna believe this...i clicked this offer to get a REAL name-brand purse on Coach absolutely FREE and it totally came in the mail!! since i KNOW its no joke now, i'm going to go back real fast and get more to send out as goodie..you really should go grab a few too LMFAO! isnt this one that came tight?
Hey, how are you?! what's going on? we just thought we'd let you know we put two new songs up on our myspace =] please comment us back, or message us. or whatever to tell us what you think!
HEY JUST STOPPING BY TO SHOW OFF LOL! BECAUSE I JUST GOT A FREE EZXCHANGE CARD!! CLICK HERE TO GET YOURS BEFORE THEIR BACK2SCHOOL PROMO ENDS. ILL TALK TO YOU LATER. I HAVE TO PUT UP THE REST OF MY CLOTHES
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