Jim Dickson - bass & altitude /
Stuart Wilson - drums /
Dave Kettley- guitar /
Brent Williams - guitar & keyboards /
Rob Younger - vocals /
Management & staff: Napoleon (no relation) Wilson - make-up & advice /
Baghwan Campbell - laundry & hand relief / Hortense Mueller - team tactics & much-needed discipline / Bent Johnson - love interest
THE NEW CHRISTS was formed by ex-Radio Birdman singer Rob Younger in 1984. Pretty much anyway. Since then, myriad line-up changes, management fuck-overs, conflicts within and without, numerous record releases, a plethora of wasted opportunities, and six European tours have transpired. History, being largely detestable, certainly tiresome, forbids further detail. The future has always been of greater interest, probably because it involves things that haven't happened yet. ***
LAST JUNE - a seeming eternity ago now - the five highly talented, keenly motivated individuals I'm honoured to call my friends, returned from Europe, having played shows in Spain (the Azkena Rock Festival in Vitoria-Gasteiz specifically where they rocked big-time), France, Germany, Holland, Slovenia, Italy, Norway and Sweden. The boys had quite a few laughs over there, so many in fact that plans are underway for a repeat dose next year. I use the term 'dose' advisedly. ***
MORE RECENTLY, the band's run of shows in Melbourne, Brisbane, Gold Coast, Lismore and Sydney went off famously; a rockingly good time all round. Many - be they cynics, realists, arseholes, Rob, what have you - have long maintained that The New Christs can't get arrested in Brisbane, but screw those tossers because it so transpired that they pulled a surprisingly decent crowd comprised of the hippest of that great city's hip cognoscenti. Further, they rocked these good people. Further still, a male was seen to be dancing. Remember, this is 2009. And their Lismore show apparently was an utter gas and for all the right reasons. It seems the friendship and hospitality afforded the boys was staggering, as indeed were a couple of the boys according to inside reports. It's all a bit of a giggle on the road, so I'm told, a bit of fun. No harm done I'm sure. And, to top off a hectic month for our irascible enfants terribles, their recent performance at 'headquarters' - the Excelsior in Surry Hills, Sydney, Australia, The World - reportedly left people wondering if life could actually be more enriching. Of course it can, but that's an unrelated matter. Anyhow, curious, and admittedly just a little skeptical, I asked the boys to comment in regard to all this heady catharthis. Their response to a man - in even, sober tones betraying nary a trace of irony, immodesty, nor hubris, and all the more compelling for it - was a plain, country simple: 'Napoleon, somebody has to make a difference.' I don't mind admitting here and now I had to turn away to hide the tears welling in my eyes, for this is the sort of thing that makes it all worthwhile. ***
AND IT"S NOT only the dear lads who are on the case. Concurrent to all this furious activity, white hot Australian label IMPEDANCE has released GLORIA, the band's latest, wondrous waxing, on compact disc and fantastic black plastic. The 12", being noticeably larger, looks and feels a right treat and only a sheer berk (look it up) - I can think of several, in fact, 2 of them play in the same band - would pass on this one. And the music cradled lovingly within this lavish presentation? As in, is it good? Are the Kennedys gun-shy? Does Dave own a brown towel? Exactly. ***
WHAT"S MORE, the visionary people at France's PITSHARK RECORDS have seen fit to release two tracks from GLORIA - Bonsoir A Vous b/w Animalisation - on 45, though mistakenly, I'm informed, pressed up as a 10". Locally, copies are available at MOJO Records in York Street, Sydney (between Market and King Sts), an altogether excellent shop run by decent people, so they assure me. I'm not certain where else you can look. Perhaps you should contact the label itself. What am I, your babysitter? Check their website; do whatever it takes. It's a free country, last time I looked. ***
HOLD THE PHONE Joan!! The previously penciled-in Mona Vale gig with the Celibate Rifles has been knocked on the head inexplicably, annoyingly, and rather mysteriously. Anyhow, just keep your eyes peeled for upcoming NC5 excitation, unless you're completely nuts. These sites frequently attract marginal types so nothing personal if that's you. And the news just gets better and better: dig it - the fabulous five shall also be holding forth at Newtown's famed and recently tarted up (?) Sandringham Hotel on Friday December 4, confirmation of same withstanding BECAUSE NO-ONE SEEMS TO REALLY KNOW IF THE PLACE WILL BE READY IN TIME. Look beyond this vague uncertainty and proceed to pencil that one in forthwith or risk being seen as some prat who missed the bus completely. All this, just to flog a t-shirt. Still....... . ***
ECSTATIC - in the main anyhow - reviews keep rolling in for GLORIA. Anything less than ecstatic ends up in the e-bin faster than a rabbit gets fucked, for these guys are so sensitive to criticism it's unbelievable. I don't much care for it either, now I think about it. Nonetheless I hereby declare right here and now, however premature, however simpleminded, that GLORIA has withstood the test of time ALREADY and whilst there's no way on earth I'm sticking it out for 10 years before I can legitimately claim that, I am absolutely 1,000,000% positive GLORIA will very soon occupy a much-coveted stool (careful...) in the Pantheon, right alongside other bona fide shreddery as Binky and the Arsonists' 'Burn In The USA', The Rim Rockets' repugnant diatribe 'Moistener?'; 'Fabric Softener' by The Night Soil; 'Shit For All Eternity' by Organised Religion; 'Personal Hygiene' by S.O.A.P; 'X-Communication' by Vatican art-terrorists cum peep freaks Confession Box (featuring 'Altar Boy', 'Eat More Slowly', and 'You're Here For A Reason'); and last though not at all least, the chillingly blithe, unquestionably transcendent 'Too Hard and Much Too Long', that astonishingly offensive 3 disc tour de (dare I?) farce by Minge on the now-defunct Harness label. Astute readers will surely note I eschew - quite without apology - any mention of 'Climb Aboard' (The Poppinwood Years) by Todge Common, a recording I consider to be irredeemable tosh, though, in fairness, the single taken from said album - 'Unwelcome Proposal' b/w 'Get On The End Of This (Hey Sharon)' - is a most notable exception, these demented 'songs' being possessed of immeasurable insouciance, having been penned by the Todge's producer of long-standing - Phil Dettol - to bolster the band's flagging stocks. But you know all this. ***
THE NEW CHRISTS recently played shows in Wollongong and Newcastle. Who said 'big deal'? Both places eat the bag, though one far more so than the other. I'll give you three guesses as to which sucks more and the first two don't count. The Wollongong gig at The Harp Hotel was poorly attended and thus had precious little in the way of atmosphere. Of course, outside that building there's none whatsoever. In fairness to this not-so-fair 'city', the gozleme place around the corner has something to offer, it has to be said, and having said that, I now say something else: the support band Leadfinger did everything rockingly right, braving the numbing, pervasive indifference, and deserve a listen anytime. Nonetheless, the dismal turnout served to cast a shadow over further prospects viz a viz the Newies playing the 'Gong. Since there's an 'up' side I'll forthwith mention that the Newcastle show was light years in advance of the former; the general 'vibe' being altogether much livelier, the girls dancing with something quite akin to abandon. The Hamilton Station Hotel itself is possibly the most distressingly tasteless example of interior 'design' one could ever clap eyes on, and sure enough, overheard were pointed references to Arse Nouveau. Perhaps as many as 15 video screens shriek football results, Grand Prix standings, comparative dick-lengths, and TAB dividends from every which way. Appalling. However, the house tucker is reasonably priced, the menu exhibiting a wide range of delectable fare, and the venue management seeming to know precisely what day it was while being courteous and considerate in the extreme. As my mother-in-law is often apt to say: 'Good manners cost you nothing.' Tell that to some of the pricks that run other venues. The good city of Newcastle itself, whilst unlikely to bend one's jaded johnson, at least seems more like a place one might choose to live, rather than one where you simply wait to die.
***STOP THE PRESSES!!! HOIST THE MAINBRACE!! STOW THE MIZZEN MAST!! HANDS OFF COCKS AND ON WITH SOCKS!! The New Christs will play a show - a BIG show - at The Sandringham Hotel in Newtown on December 4! Hell, I might make the scene myself. Then again, somebody has to stick around the office and man these phones. They've really been running hot of late. Oh yeah.
Napoleon Wilson - Fluffer / Sensualist / Podiatry
In our tragic and misguided bid to relive past glories, drink far to much
for men of our age and stay up way past our bedtimes Decline of the
Reptiles will once again be gracing the stages of Sydney for some
middle aged mayhem. Our first appearance is that rock god staple - THE
IN STORE APPEARANCE - at Allan's music in the city at 3pm Friday the
6th of November where we'll be simultaneously playing every instrument
in the store for what promises to be a very special 30 minutes.
After that we have the pleasure of putting our disco jive togs on to play
with the Hitmen in both of their two rare appearances at the Sando in
Newtown on the 20th and 21st of November. This will be just like old
times, only a bit chubbier and with less hair - well at least on our
scones anyway. Better see some of you guys at one of these.
Oh, wish i could attend the concert!! But going to the other side of the earth is a little bit to expensive for me.. Until you get here , i will listen to the 7" & 12" by you i have finally gotten my hands on..
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