STORIES!!!

Presents Under the Grave

This song was written for someone very close to us, and I think we all know who we’re talking about …Rick Astley. Well, as the story goes, Rick was sitting in the living room with us a week before Christmas channel surfing, trying to catch TNT’s feature presentation of Dr. Seuss’s classic “How the Grinch stole Christmas”. All of a sudden, we both realized that we had neglected to get our good friend Mr. Covington a Christmas gift. We got in the Mini Van and drove to the nearest Target (since Mr. Covington was leaving the next day and it was the only store around still open). When we got there we realized that we’d left the oven on. We drove home even faster than we had driven to Target originally, which was also pretty fast. Then we got drunk and sort of fell asleep. We felt real bad though and wrote this song.

Robots vs. Trolls... PartI

Remember that time when the OG Jacks created a time machine out of chew spit, cheese balls, and a 2000 Volkswagen Euro-Van with a Barbie steering-wheel-cover?...you don't...well it happened anyway a-hole so listen up ok?...ok. Back to the action/adventure/things, GJ and OJ traveled to the time 3200AD, in a time where mankind had changed immensely from what it is today. For starters, there were more humans. Also, they were a little taller and had a much better understanding of the world around them.

But there was a great swelling in the underbelly of one of the bigger land masses on Earth, (ie. the Earth itself) For little did man know, but ever since the OG Jacks were begotten by the God of fruity loops, an underground civilization heard the heavenly chords of the super group and began to worship them secretly. They named themselves the Trolls, cause they looked like trolls. They began to rise from the ground and slap people who didn't like the music of the OG Jacks until they did like it or they said they liked it even though they still didn't. Well, the people of Earth who had bad taste in music got mad and created Troll-slapping Robots to slap the Trolls if they slapped people who also had bad taste in music.

It was then that the OG Jacks arrived in the future. They had been beckoned by an unforgettable urge to help their Troll brethren. So the OG Jacks played a 40 day and 40 night set in front of all of mankind, and they won over the entire Earth. From that day on, the Robots and the Trolls could stop slapping everything and became friends, and no one got slapped on Earth from that day on, accept for the time when a guy stole a Trolls copy of Tandem and Together in Any Kind of Weather.

Wind Moves Munchkins

We all were living in Golden when the front came through. Taking place shortly after the precedents of the Revolution. OGJ had suddenly taking the Front Range by siege but wasn't wary of what was to follow. It wasn't even those two who could stop what they created.

Dunlorp and Tommy Clang (AKA Tang) rushed into our loft warning us of the storm we had created. Dunlorp and Tang were a little smaller then us, so we refrained to mention that wind does move munchkins. But they weren't just a little smaller, they were munchkins, only with less make up. After calculating the force of the wind by noticing that it grew at an exponential rate, and would arrive at its peak in about an hour, we decided it really wouldn't hurt anything but a munchkin. This kind of made our little friends sad. Staring at the blowing trees and eating stuff to eat, we kind of dazed off ignoring the munchkin's plans for survival and wining about dying. Forgetting his place, OJ mentioned with enthusiasm "Why what a wonderful day for a kite fly, I don't mind to ring John Swift and question if he wouldn't like jump start my ratters".

So the 4 packed a picnic and set out for a kite fly. There kites flew high as the wind began to grow. And the sky glowed strange with tints of Orange and Green. Only the Jacks and John Swift were able to fly kites because munchkins are really not strong like humans. Dunlorp and Tang began to panic with thoughts of moving. They just arrived in Golden and didn’t want to go anywhere. And they were obligated to serve there masters who had bough them on EBAY after there first platinum record. Faster and faster did the wind blow. And the munchkins felt threatened. John Swift mentioned that the munchkins better take cover. They had to walk a whole 50yds off the football field for shelter which was impossible with the short stumpy legs god had given them. Faster and faster did our kites fly. And then a new front (of which we didn't know) arrived. The sky was tattered with munchkins as the wind currents carried them to the sees of grass. Then as the 3 humans turned there backs, they heard a scream, and caught a glimpse of the two munchkins that had always served them best. Over the houses and into the sky, they drifted. Dunlop and Tang tried grasping onto our kites. Swift said, "God gave them really small hands which really can't hold on to anything worth a nugget." And as that sentence was finished, Dunlorp and Tang were ripped from the comfort of the kites and drifted into sorrow along with the other munchkins in the sky. And so the story is told of the wind that moved munchkins. After finishing the delightful lunch of fizzle berries and crod juice, the three packed there kites and then trotted home happily singing elvish riddles. And then they wrote a song in sadness, "Wind Move Munchkins"