Download our new single 'You are wrong' from tomorrow (Monday 22nd October) exclusively from Pure Groove, a WHOLE WEEK before it comes out physically!!!!!!! We're so excited we just came in our pants!!!!!!!!!
I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4The Patty Winters Show will be releasing a second single - 'You Are Wrong' - as a seven inch record through Vacuous Pop on Monday 29th October (check our top 8 for details).
Our first single - 'People Like Us Aren't Meant to Win Things' - is just about still available to buy through Tigertrap's website - also in the top 8. We are also whored on itunes like everyone else, ever. The rather appalling video can be seen below!
Once upon a time there lived a jerk called Tom. He was a girl. After a rather miss-spent youth listening only to Tina Turner, Abba, and Will Haven he decided Goddamnit! I want to form a band! However- there was one small problem He didnt have any friends. And so night after night he would cry himself to sleep, inconsolable. How could he be a part of the most groundbreaking band since Vanilla if he couldnt find anyone to join forces with?
Calm yourself Thomas, his sister would say. Dont dirty your knickers. The task is clear. You must scour the land in search of people who will join you at your table.
But where can I find such lousy jerks? he would plead.
Please do not torture yourself my friend. For there are people suitable for this position, she croaked, but you must look hard to seek them out, she added, cackling incessantly, before inexplicably exploding in a cloud of pink dust.
You crass bitch! Tom would scream, while lashing out at nothing. You must tell me where I can find these persons! But alas, Toms sister had meatamorphosised into a crème brulee and so it seemed that there was no help at hand. The task would be a lonely and arduous one.
Over the coming years Tom would think long and hard about what it was that he wanted. The first conclusion was simple. A girl must be found! he said aloud, proudly. With blonde hair and big tits. After a rather ill advised period spent toying with German lesbianism Tom experienced a kind of spiritual epiphany. As if out of nowhere appeared a girl who wanted to fuse the melodic brilliance of Melt Banana with the subtle complexity of Paula Abdul. Her name Kirsty. Alas, she didnt have blonde hair. But her tits were certainly big enough. And so these two rather silly bounders went about forming a band.
Under what name shall we be known? commanded Kirsty.
Hmm, pondered Thomas. I cannot be sure. Have you any ideas?
What about Black people dont sell magazines? she replied.
Well I certainly like that idea, Tom mused, but Im not entirely sure. What do you think of Frottage?
Its got a nice ring to it, thought Kirsty, but doesnt it sound, well, a trifle silly?
Perhaps, replied Tom. How about The Patty Winters Crème Brulee?
Again, said Kirsty, it does possess a certain charm. But I fear it may be a little long winded. How about The Patty Winters Length?
Or The Patty Winters Face? Tom added.
I dont know! said Kirsty frustrated. We may as well just be called The Patty Winters Show!
Thats wizard! said Tom, ejaculating in his pants. That must be the name of our band! Kirsty, you are a rock!
Well I'm all for it, said Kirsty.
My! said Tom, If I wasnt such a raging homosexual then I may just bally well eat your pants!
Later.
This is just silly, Tom found himself saying. We cannot carry on without a drummer. This machine that we are using is simply vulgar.
Yes, mused Kirsty. I too am sick of this drum machine. We need someone who can hit things in time with our melodic yet dissonant post-pop anthems.
Yes. Someone must be found. And they must be real.
And so The Patty Winters Show embarked on a perilous mission to find a drummer. They knew that it would not be easy. But, alas, life rarely is. All that they could hope for was that any potential candidate did not like the Red Hot Chilli Peppers or, worse still, favour them to the extent that they refer to them simply as the Chillis. Could there be anything worse? Hunger, disease, rape All such problems fade into insignificance when confronted with this particular pseudonym.
Anyway, after months of searching, a suitable person was found. Their name - Ben! And so The Patty Winters Show was born!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is Maria, are you guys still together?? I love yous!!
30-31 October 2009
Come with us now on a journey through Camberwell and light up your inner Pagan with Bored Youth Makes Music: The Halloween Rave
Dance into your grave with knights of Nu-Rave Trash Fashion and do the zombie to a deathly DJ set from first ladies of electronic punk, Robots In Disguise (of Mighty Boosh fame).
Other electrifying acts include dark lords of London O’Children; riot grrls Violet Violet; vocal-trumpeter come Edinburgh Festival comedian Earl Okin; Welsh electro bleaters Dreamer; and wild card Gypsy rockers Sanjuro.
Expect: insane outfits, barmy tracks and nutty drinks deals, and nothing less.
Its been selling faster than we expected, and we currently only have around a quarter of our stock left - so we thought we'd better you all know that if you want a copy then now would be a good time to pick one up! If you buy it from the link above then you're buying it direct from us, the label aren't taking a cut - so its a bit like Fair Trade for struggling musicians.
International mail-order is available, just follow the instructions.
Thank you very much, and sorry for making a mess of your profile. If its any kind of consolation, we don't have a MySpace bot, so I'm leaving these comments the old fashioned way. Three -and-a-half thousand of them. My life is so exciting.
Register your interest now at www.topoftheox.co.uk to compete in the first UK song contest of it's kind. Win a huge record deal, tour, management, merchandise, perform at a world class venue and become a household name. www.topoftheox.co.uk supported by Marshall, StarNow, SAE, Turan Audio and many more key industry names.
rakocuuuuuuuunn thanks very much for the add!!! the devolution is real and imminent....put you under cover!!!!! how are you doing of crazy? see you soon!
NO FUSS! PARTY 4... SAT 25th APRIL FEATURING THE LEGEND DON LETTS, NEW MASHUP MASTER MR.BENN + THE NO FUSS! SUPASOUNDSYSTEM: MATMAN+KINGTOBY... ALL @ THE WESTY 34 KILBURN HIGH ROAD NW6... Come get hectic!
Respect! What awesome ideas are floating about here. Well put together and wow. Stunner stunner. Wow. We like the stuff you have got going on here. For real. Loads for the ears and the eyes which is what I like. And you will find just that on our my space. We do fusion mixes and have posted new videos. One we have given you a sneak preview of is Computer Talk ft Coldplay and Kraftwerk. Just posted is a radical combo of Rihanna with an infusion of Peter, Bjorn and John. Rebooted, filtered, animated, shaken, cut, pasted, shown Timberlake who said he had not quite brought sexy back enough but I had, smashed with a great hammer, deconstructed and turned into Young Folks with Umbrella. Another newey called Scooby Mama moulds Fun Lovin Criminals to a Scissor Sisters. Watch out for our SeXDwArF v The Cure v Tori Amos tune which is almost ready to be unleashed. We would also recommend the Lauryn Hill v Marvin Gaye fusion if you like a cooler soul vibe. If it don't move ya yo dead. The myspace is getting new tunes and vids regularly. So let us know what you think. What floats your boat. But then pah I am not worthy! Thanks for the add and your interest.
Hi The Patty Winters Show :) Welcome to our page, good to have you with us! We need your support to give a voice to the children who have none of their own...So please be loud and proud with us...and all the great bands you will find on this page who have made a noise to break the wall of silence that traps the innocents...together we can break it down!! So, listen to the great music, look at the excellent pictures, and know that you, along with everyone else on this page, can make a difference... The children must be protected, and we must all do our part...thank you for wanting to do yours and for adding your voice to ours, we grow louder every day...soon they WILL listen!!! The Team @Rock Against Child Pornography UK
And if you are not already our friend over there :), please add our main page ...
Hi The Patty Winters Show, 'appy new year! Our debut album 'Hope Is Not Enough' has been nominated for the XFM New Music Award 2009. If you like it please click on the banner to vote for us. Thanks! Sam & rtP p.s. Come and see us play tomorrow Friday 16th Jan at Bush Hall, 310 Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ. On stage 9:30pm.
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