the PNASTY

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When people hear the name of PNasty, they sometimes don't know what to expect. One must truly pity those poor souls, because their ignorance usually leaves them unable to come to terms with the whirlwind of sexual prowess, earth shattering intelligence, mind-numbing musculature, and overt pugnacious charm. On the cosmic scale of incredibleness, the PNasty is 4 notches below both Jesus AND Chuck Norris, and one half notch below Bruce Lee the drummer from Spinal Tap that spontaneously combusted. He has the strength of 14 Mack trucks, the agility of 23 Ninjas on crystal meth, and the mastery of things so complex that they don't even exist. When you awake in the dark in the middle of a horrible nightmare gasping for breath, the PNasty caused your nightmare. When good things happen to bad people, the PNasty was involved at some point of the process. When you're unpacking delicate things and the packing Styrofoam makes that noise that makes you want to rip your eyes out with a spork, the PNasty was responsible for the noise. Basically, the Pnasty is the archetype of excellence in every imaginable category. He is handsome, talented, well spoken, and makes 3 women swoon every minute worldwide. When you're walking down the street and you have that moment where you're almost knocked to the ground by something incredible that you just saw, but cannot remember what it was that you saw, you most likely caught a glimpse of the PNasty. You just didn't make eye contact. Because only the worthy can look into the eyes of PNasty without bursting into an instant conflagration. ................