The sound of bacon frying, the constant buzzing in my head, the sound of bacon frying.
Movies
"Gym Star Sacrifice" starring Will Ferrell and the drummer from Puddle of Mudd, "Basketball The Moovie" starring the cow from the "I'm a cow cow cow cow COOOOOOW" cow commercials, "Gimme A 'C'" about the cheerleader who gets cancer, "Meet the Movie" starring You, the fact that the makers of "Meet the Movie" live in a house cobbled together from other celebrity houses located under AND above ground inside Beverly's Hill, Captain EO.
Television
America's Biggest Butt Slutts, Sleep With An ABC Executive Superstar, Who Wants To Vomit On Camera, The Adventures of Sixteen Jagoffs Happier Than Gandhi, Late Night With The Guy Who Thinks He's Robocop, Two And A Half Sandwich, Basketballs On Camera III, Watch Newt Gingrich Drown In A Bathtub Of Root Beer, Explosionation Island, Dracula's State Of The Union Address, God's Big Ass Nature Fuck, Dennis Rodman's Bladder Activity, Who Wants To Blow The Kid From Home Alone 3, What The Fuck Let's Just Show You A Bowel Movement, The Inside Of A Snake Starring Baby Jacobson, The Phil Collins Uncle Hugaboo Variety Hour Style Hour, The Secret Life Of An Angry Spaniard, The Secret Life Of A Horny Buffalo, The Secret Life Of A Cyborg Giraffe, Bewitched reruns.
About me: I've spent half my life trying to destroy my own legacy, and the other half bemoaning my lack of one. I've never smoked pot - I act that way anyway, pot would only make me an accountant - and I only drink in the alternate universe where liquor tastes good to the mouth. Between my various rejections I write comedy, eat unhealthy amounts of fresh fruit, procrastinate releasing my next album, and try to superglue back together the bridges I've burnt for kindling. And for one precious year of my life I may never get back, I had enough of my shit together to write, produce, direct, edit and appear in THIS thirty-minute sketch film, which is full of sketches but not shot on film. So I was half right!
