Daniel O' - Daniel was born in a small rustic village in China, where he was taught the art of song by a deaf sheep. He was piloting the Turf Brothers tour plane on the day of its fatal crash. Some say the crash was caused by mechanical failure, others suggest that Daniel spotted a half-eaten hotdog on the floor and veered into a mountain whilst trying to reach it.
Bob Turf - Eldest of the Turf Brothers by 8 years and 6 days, Bob, the keyboard player, lost all eight fingers and three toes during a partcularly violent darts game. His competitor, one Richard M, didn't even say sorry.
Dilbert Turf - One of the band's principal songsmiths, Dilbert added kudos to the band by exposing them to Dungannon's burgeoning rap scene in the mid 70s. The introduction of drummer Notorious S.P.U.D. and rapper Rancid Fishpaste left the band stunned and the soundman dead.
'G' String - Lone survivor of the plane crash, Gutwulf 'G' String now lives in New Zealand where he pretends to work, but in fact spends his time taking photos and writing e-mails. Conspiracy theorists suggest that it was he who planted the half-eaten hotdog in the cabin of the plane.
English Mustard - A late addition to the band, English Mustard met the band when he accidentally wandered into the practice rooms while looking for the toilets. This was understandable, as the band where practicing in the public toilets at the time. English Mustard later joined after the entire band were arrested for soliciting.
Captain Cuthbert - Producer, cellist and owner of a small fleet of fishing trawlers, Captain Cuthbert also survived the plane crash that killed the band. In a bizzare twist of fate, however, he was killed 8 years and 6 days later when a turbot ruptured one of his verucas.
Since their fatal plane crash in 1979, the Turf Brothers have remained at the forefront of their musical genre, thanks to the formation of a tribute act formed by neighbours, illegitimate children and degenerates. The Turf Brothers Tribute Band continue to find new Turf Brothers material, in dustbins, bus shelters and down the back of the sofa. This they release, before retiring for the evening with a book and a cup of warm leek soup. The Turf Brothers are brought to you by the letters O and H, and by the number 74.
