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Good, Kind, Prudent and Sensible Companions of the Upper Crust,
It is with reserve bordering on trepidation that we warily venture forth to observe the arrival of Spring, noting that Nature, never friendly to the interests of Mankind, is wont to display her most gentle and beguiling disposition precisely when she wishes to surprise us with some fresh and unanticipated indignity.
And so we view the blooming of the flowers, the budding of the branches, the blossoming of the trees, the greening of the meadows, the lilting harmonies of the birds, the abrupt casting off of all modesty and restraint in dress on the part of what is called, without a trace of irony, the gentler sex—all this as an invitation to the sort of carelessness that can only invite disaster.
In this spirit of clammy-handed unease we most cautiously advise you of the doings of their Lordships, The Upper Crust. Having just returned from Los Angeles, they now heedlessly, recklessly propose to travel to Austin, Tx. (June 27th), Chicago, Ill. (July 17th), Detroit, Michigan (July 18th) and Provincetown, Ma. (July 22nd). Other shows, in Boston and New York, are under discussion.
This in itself would be enough to freeze the blood of any ordinary, deliberate and circumspect person. That they will in all likelihood embark on further, still more rash adventures—let us only hope that they come to their senses before it is too late!
I have taken it upon myself to chronicle the doings of their Lordships, and my fate is inextricably bound up in theirs. Like a man who has taken passage on a vessel helmed and officered by madmen, I can only offer up my heartfelt prayers that all shall emerge unscathed
Best of Companions, pray for me, for the sky is darkling, and I feel the first stirrings of a gale, whilst below my masters gambol and disport themselves with drink and all manner of debauchery,
Yours Most Fearfully,
Bumbles
Secretary and Manservant to Their Lordships the Upper Crust
OUT NOW!!
Click here to download the brand new album,
"Revenge For Imagined Slights"
available through Camp Street Records
Dear Friends of the Upper Crust—
It gives me great pleasure to announce the release of a new Upper Crust record, or rather, a batch of ten MP3 files, available for immediate download at Camp Street Records
The record is named Revenge for Imagined Slights—just as if it were an actual vinyl record album or a CD that you could hold in your hands, though in truth it is just a collection of digital ones and zeros floating in the ether… no sleeve nor jewel case contains or unifies it… just ten songs without physical form of any kind, any one of which might very well change the world as we know it. They are:
Long Table For Two
Coachman Drive On
Come Hither Fair Youth
Rococo
Class Up the Ass
Chateauneuf du Pop
Hereditary Insanity
Bedlam
I Stand Corrected
Wine Women and Song
These compositions are notable for their variety of style and content. Two of them remind us of the need for vigilance lest we inadvertently have carnal relations with our mother at a masqued ball ("Rococo," and "Wine Women and Song")—a problem which apparently vexes the Lord Bendover to no small degree.
Another two lightly touch upon the perplexing issue of hereditary insanity that afflicts so many persons of rarified birth and breeding ("Bedlam," "Hereditary Insanity")—another subject seemingly of interest to the Lord Bendover.
Count Bassie is anxious to make it known that he did not write, nor does he agree with the sentiments expressed in "Come Hither Fair Youth," neither does he resemble the protagonist thereof in any way. Moreover, he has never ingested hallucinogenic drugs of any kind, as the middle part of the song might suggest.
"I Stand Corrected" is an amusing trifle written and recorded in the studio, as it was felt that an album—even one without physical form—ought to have at least ten songs.
The worldly and erudite lead guitarist Duc d'Istortion sings "Long Table For Two"; the formidable Count Bassie sings "Class Up the Ass" and "Come Hither"; the other songs are sung by the exemplary Lord Bendover. Drummer extraordinaire Jackie Kickassis provides an exceptionally fine, robust percussion throughout, with just a hint of young cherry and a faint tang that lingers long after the aforementioned tracks have quietly gathered up their garments, pocketed your valuables and left the room.
To those loyal supporters who have long awaited a new Upper Crust record, we thank you for your patience and trust you will enjoy listening to this record as much as their Lordships enjoyed the creation of it,
Your Most Humble Servant,
Bumbles, Secretary and Manservant to the Upper Crust
Dear Friends
Allow me introduce myself: I am Bumbles, the faithful manservant of the Upper Crust, those most esteemd peers of the Realm of Rocque. It is my duty, my privilege and my pleasure to present to you this new edition of the Upper Crust's MySpace page.
Why "new," you ask? It is because, quite simply, there was none previously in existence. An omission, perhaps; an oversight, certainly; a regrettable faux pas which we seek here to rectify ("rectify," from the French: to electrify one's rectum).
The Upper Crust have set an impossibly high standard of rectifying Rocque and Roll for something like a decade, and it has been my good fortune to have played a small, obsequious, and servile role therein.
That they have continually gained in stature and reputation whilst others have fallen by the wayside, we owe to their unique talent and perspicacity, their formidable catalogue of songs, and the simple fact that none of them, as of this writing, have yet died.
Their recordings "Let Them Eat Rock", "Decline and Fall", "Once More Into the Breeches", "Entitled" now quite valuable and difficult to find, are now available online at theuppercrust.org and on iTunes. Look also for a Live DVD to be released by Reptilian Records in the near future.
Dear friends, we invite you to join the Upper Crust's circle of admirers. Together, you and they shall forge a bond of comradeship so strong that nothing barring their Lordships aversion to the use of condoms shall sunder it. They shall declare themselves to be your friends, and you theirs. They shall send you pictures of themselves in their underclothes, so that you may decide if they are hot, and they do not doubt that you shall reciprocate. And I, Bumbles, shall keep you abreast of such information as discretion permits regarding the doings of their Lordships.
May I take your coat? I perfectly understand you are wearing nothing underneath. You may wait in the sitting room.
Their Lordships shall be along presently.
Our space is your space. Welcome to the Upper Crust on MySpace.
Your Most Humble Servant in Rocque,
Bumbles
..This profile was edited with MySpace Profile Editor
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