Dennis says:
"Hello and welcome."
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I live in the UK with my two ferrets, Brigadier the Right Dishonourable Hiccups Disraeli Cleese Danger Vetinari Danzig Carstairs, Heir to the Duchy of Chipping Sodbury and Celebrated Author of Hitler's Diaries aka The Flying Giuseppe and Commodore the Remotely Reverend Biscuits Gladstone Palin Trouble Snapcase Vanian Fairfax, the 14th Earl of Newport Pagnell and Renowned Father of the 2nd Renaissance aka Fat Tony:
I'd like to say that I use their full names when they've been naughty, but I suspect you'd know that I was lying.
It is worth nothing, however, that Danger and Trouble are their middle names.
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I can be MSN-friendly on request. This too is on the condition that you're nice.
It also helps if I like you. And if I'm not feeling like being an awkward bugger.