YOU START WITH DANNY GARDNER. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOU ARE WHO IS READING THIS, DANNY PLAYS GUITAR BETTER THAN YOU DO. HE ALWAYS WILL. BLINDFOLDED. WITHOUT A CIGARETTE. HE WRITES BITCHIN' SONGS, TOO. BLINDFOLDED. WITHOUT A WORD PROCESSOR. OR A THESAURUS. THEN YOU ADD IN A PINCH OF MISTER DAVE. BECAUSE ANYMORE THAN A PINCH OF MISTER DAVE IS LETHAL, AS THE VIENNA CHOIR BOYS, LIBERACE, AND THE BOLSHOI BALLET HOUSE BAND HAVE COME TO FIND OUT. HE ONCE PLAYED KEYBOARDS WITH JUKE BOY BONNER FOR 145 YEARS. THEN THE SUN CAME UP IN THE WEST. DAVE WEARS FUNNY HATS AND PLAYS SERIOUS KEYS. DON'T FUCK WITH THE HAT. THE VATICAN HAS RULED IT OFF LIMITS. THE SWISS GUARD WILL KILL YOU. NEED A REASON TO LIVE? THAT WOULD BE STEVE BROD'S DRUMMING. WHEN STEVE IS FINISHED CUTTING A TRACK, THE RECORDING AUTOMATICALLY GETS PUT INTO A TIME CAPSULE BY BARRACK OBAMA AND SHOT INTO OUTER SPACE BY NASA. WHEN HE'S NOT BUSY SETTING OFF AIRPORT METAL DETECTORS, MIKE MANNING HAS BEEN LAYING DOWN FUNK-A-LICIOUS BASS SINCE HE WAS STRUCK BY LIGHTNING IN HIS MOTHER'S WOMB IN 1957. GOOD THING, TOO, BECAUSE HE HAS NO OTHER REDEEMING QUALITIES.
THE BRIDES OF JESUS...
JONES NEVER MET AN OVERDUB, EQ, MULTI-TRACK, EFFECT, SUB MIX, CIRCUIT, OR WHEATSTONE BRIDGE THAT HE COULDN'T CONQUER. NOR HAS HE MET A PIECE OF VINTAGE GEAR THAT HE DIDN'T ACQUIRE. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU MIX A GEAR HEAD GUITARIST WITH A MASTER ELECTRICIAN. MARK MURPHY? HE WAS JESUS ON BROADWAY, WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PROJECT NAME BUT EVERYTHING TO DO WITH WHY HE IS THE LEAD VOCALIST IN THE PROJECT. MISTER DAVE WEARS MANY HATS. BUT HE PREFERS TO WEAR YELLOW REGULATION RAINCOATS FLASHERS PREFER WHEN IN STUDIO WITH THE BRIDES. HIS KEYBOARDS ARE EVEN MORE LETHAL CONFINED IN A STUDIO, WHERE HE ISN'T LIMITED TO JUST 20 OR 30 SOUNDS, AS HE IS LIVE. JIMMY BEACH IS ONE HAPPY MOTHERFUCKER. HE SMILES WHEN HE PLAYS DRUMS. PROBABLY BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE HAS FEW PEERS ON THE KIT AND A NEVER ENDING CALENDAR OF HIGH END BOOKINGS. WHEN MIKE MANNING ISN'T WONDERING HOW ANYBODY COULD BE AS HAPPY AS BEACH, HE'S BUSY ASSASSINATING A BEVY OF INSTRUMENTS UNTIL THEY MAKE SOUNDS THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO MAKE. HE ALSO WRITES THE HITS. NOT SONGS. HITS. SOMETIMES YOU EVEN HEAR THEM ON RADIO AND TELEVISION COMMERCIALS. THAT IS BECAUSE MIKE SOLD OUT. HE DID THAT BECAUSE HE WANTED TO BE WEALTHY. HE IS. EQUALLY IMPORTANT TO THE PROJECT IS ENGINEER MATT FABULOUS, WHO HAS THE DOCTORATE IN CHINESE ARITHMETIC NECESSARY TO KEEP ALL OF THE SOUNDS FLYING AROUND THE STUDIO WHEN THESE MADMEN CONVENE IN SOME KIND OF MEANINGFUL ORDER.
Last week state Rep. Wayne Christian pulled a sly move in the legislature and created an exception to the Texas Open Beaches Act that allows him and his neighbors on Bolivar Peninsula to build houses on the PUBLIC BEACH.
This is bad news.
We have a campaign to convince Texas Governor Rick Perry to veto this bad bill.
This is very simple and your email could make the difference.
Hi everybody, just here to say our new RORY GALLAGHER HAWK BOOSTER is ready for shipping. Have a listen if you get a chance, All the best, Stevie Flynn.
I'M MAKING MY CALL. LAKERS IN 7 (GODDAMNED ROCKETS). HEY MM, SINCE YOU ARE GOING TO BE HERE ANYWAY, WANT TO GO TO GAME 7 WITH ME? WE COULD MAKE ONE OF OUR WORLD FAMOUS BETS!
Hey Arthur Carr! Seeing the show you crazy old bastards put on and the smiles you put on everyone's faces was worth the 2 hour traffic jam getting out of Downtown that you guys caused.
That was the most entertaining thing I've seen in a long, long time and I was thrilled to see how many people got to fall in love with you guys and your music!
An HPD traffic control captain friend of mine said the crowd was closer to a quarter of a million and maybe as much as 300,000!
89.7 KACC is getting ready to add even more Texas rock and roll to the playlist this summer and needs your music ASAP. If you think we don't have your newest CD, get it in the mail - be sure we know where you are from and maybe include a bio - and send it to:
You know that song "BUCKET"? Hottest song of its genre since... "UNDER MY THUMB". Word to your mothers. Totally kicks a**. And I'm not even a Jagger fan...
