Bill Cosby, Eddie Murphy, George Carlin, Cheech and Chong, Monty Python, Saturday Night Live, David Cross, Louis CK, Patton Oswalt, Mitch Hedberg, Bill Hicks
I enjoy exerting my control over other people's minds by forcing them into physical, emotional reactions: making them laugh, making them scream, making them throw-up. Also, I like to draw and play guitar.
Music
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Movies
I'm still basking in the afterglow of my new favorite movie, available for instant viewing, "Teeth."
I was in love with the concept since 2004 when my friends Amber and Dan and I were swapping movie titles we made up, but we'd love to see. Their version: "Her Thing Had Teeth!"
I don't know if Hollywood spies had the room bugged or what, but I giggled my fool head off when I saw the trailer for "Teeth" hit theaters last year.
"Teeth" is about a teenage girl named Dawn who promised Jesus that she was going to keep her "gift wrapped" until marriage. But then Tobey decided he couldn't wait past the second date and from there on in Dawn meets a lot more sleazy guys and leaves a trail of severed penises in her wake.
Why? Because of evolution. Dawn realizes, then suffers, then embraces the power of a peculiar mutation known to nearly every ancient culture as "vagina dentata."
Dawn goes to a high school that teaches evolution with nod of respect to "other theories." The film doesn't go into much depth on where Dawn sides on the whole creationism thing, but we know she's anti-pre-marital sex, and the diagram of the vulva in every health textbook at her school has an enormous sticker over it so none of those little hooligans go getting any ideas.
When are the anti-education fundamentalists going to learn that when you insist on teaching "abstinence only", you're only preventing a young girl from learning about her body and recognizing that it's not normal to have rows of razor-sharp shark teeth in her cooter? When will they see that nature will take its course, especially if you live in the shadow of the nuclear power plant's cooling towers?
I like "Teeth" because on one hand it's apparently designed to piss off the religious right. I'm sure once the ads came out for its national release, the publicity people tuned into FoxNews and started checking their watches: "When is Bill O'Reilly gonna angrily say the name of our movie?" Fifteen minutes later: "Okay, we'll settle for accusations of poor taste from Sean Hannity."
But it's more than that. It's the story of a teenage girl, which is not an easy thing to be. She's at first naive about the power of her sexuality, then terrified of it, then embraces it as she vengefully takes on the mantle of womanhood. It's a heartwarming, coming-of-age tale where a lot of douchebags lose their peckers.
Sorry if this review is a little rambly and unorganized. I'll try to make revisions after I've watched the movie another five or ten times.
Television
Whatever's on, unless it's so bad I have to put in a DVD, which is often.
Books
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers (by Mary Roach); Killing Monsters: Why Children Need Fantasy, Super Heroes, and Make-Believe Violence ( by Gerard Jones); Profoundly Disturbing: Shocking Movies that Changed History! (by Joe Bob Briggs); Et Tu, Babe (by Mark Leyner); Make Your Own Damn Movie (by Lloyd Kaufman); Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (by Douglas Adams); Dick Smith's Do-It-Yourself Monster Make-up Handbook
Yeah, I have a roller coaster picture I like. One time, me and a friend road the viper over and fucking over until we figured out where the camera was and, well, the rest is confidential.
