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Tom Segura
Ask your mom

Male
30 years old
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
United States



Last Login: 7/2/2009
View My: Pics | Videos

   Contacting Tom Segura

 MySpace URL: 

   Tom Segura's Comedian Bio
BioBorn in Cincinnati, Tom Segura has never stayed long in one place. After fleeing Ohio at an early age, Segura soon followed his parents fledgling business ventures and volunteer work to 12 U.S. states and 6 foreign countries. Segura eventually settled in Los Angeles to pursue a career on stage and television. You may have recently seen him sharing the stage with some of the biggest names in comedy: Dave Attell, Jay Mohr, Robert Schimmel, Charlie Murphy, and Sarah Silverman, just to name a few. Tom continues to tour the country performing for audiences with his unique perspective and filthy charm. You can see Tom in the hysterical new short CUTMAN or at a comedy club near you...check out www.cutmanthemovie.com
Websitetomsegura.com

    Tom Segura's Interests
GeneralMy girlfriend and her sweet, sweet milk flaps...and i love kids and watching insane people interact with their sane, imaginary friends.
MoviesHappiness is probably the funniest goddamn movie i’ve ever seen. You will laugh till you cry if you haven’t seen that. "Year of the Bull" is great. "Cutman" is the best. I really love the writing there. Oh and the BBC 7 UP series is phenomenal. And porno too, but only ones with asses and feet. You MUST see "Hated" --G.G. Allin is the craziest sumbitch to ever walk the earth! Oh and Fool’s Gold is Pure Gold! Really! Also, you should clean your eyes with razor blades. I don’t love Fight Club even though you’re supposed to. I can’t believe Keanu Reeves gets 25 million a movie. I think actors should be paid based on ability NOT ticket sales. I think Keanu, Cameron, and Cage should each get 7, 13, and 19 dollars per film, respectively. I also think Philip Seymour Hoffman, Naomi Watts, and Belladonna should get 58 million per movie.
HeroesMister Alexander, Teddy Loons, and Harvell Jenkins!

     Tom Segura's Details
Status:In a Relationship
Here for:Networking, Friends
Body type:Body builder
Zodiac Sign:Aries
Occupation:Comedian


Tom Segura's Clips [View All Clips]
Clips: 3 Total Plays: 12079 Plays Today: 0
Pay Phones in NYC
Pay Phones in NYC rating
The Real Racists behind Obama
The Real Racists behind Obama rating
Animal Attacks
Animal Attacks rating
 

   Upcoming Gigs
Jul 2 2009 8:00P
Hollywood Improv Hollywood CA
Jul 3 2009 8:00P
Comedy and Magic Club Hermosa Beach CA
Jul 5 2009 8:00P
Hollywood Improv Hollywood CA
Jul 14 2009 8:00P
Brea Improv Brea CA
Jul 18 2009 8:00P
RED ROCK Los Angeles CA
Sep 29 2009 6:00P
Private Event Cincinnati OH
Oct 22 2009 9:00P
Off the Hook Comedy Club Marco Island FL
Oct 23 2009 9:00P
Off the Hook Comedy Club Marco Island FL
Oct 24 2009 9:00P
Off the Hook Comedy Club Marco Island FL
Oct 25 2009 9:00P
Off the Hook Comedy Club Marco Island FL

Tom Segura's Latest Blog Entry  [Subscribe to this Blog]

Murder at the Zoo  (view more)

WELCOME BACK TO LOS ANGELES!  (view more)

FRIENDLY PILOT  (view more)

CUTMAN TRAILER!!!!  (view more)

Last Comic Audition!  (view more)

[View All Blog Entries]

   Tom Segura's Blurbs
About me:
Check out my bio over there <------ other than that I'm a really tall 6-time olympian and a certified spiritual psychologist. Layout Created at Mspremade.com
Who I'd like to meet:
Extremely tall and extremely short people. But only the very extremes of either category. Also, athletic dismembered people and all the Murder Ball guys. They’re fantastic. And also Coach Tim "ICE" Harris at Booker T. Washington High School in Miami (congrats on the 4A Title coach -RESPECT). That guy does not fuck around. Nor does Mickey Andrews, so I’d like to meet him. I’d also like to meet the Silver Lake "walker" who walks around silver lake and los feliz all day reading newspapers, for what seems to be 12-16 hours a day. seriously. Thanks to my buddy Full Charge and some other noteworthy locals, I’ve discovered that this seemingly schizophrenic drifter is actually an anesthesiologist - for reals. I do not want to "go under" in this dudes hands, which I can’t even imagine happening since ALL he does is walk. I also like stories about crazy people or crazy shit, so go ahead share those if you have any.

   Tom Segura's Friend Space (Top 20)
Tom Segura has 997 friends.
 Christina Pazsitzky 


 Ryan Sickler 


 Charlie 


 Teddy 


 Erik Lundy 


 Matt Fulchiron 


 Bert Kreischer 


 Jay Larson 


 Jay Mohr 


 Cutman The Movie 


 Casey Allen 


 The REAL Russell Peters 


 The Dana & Julia Show 


 Brea Improv 


 lacy marie 


 Dave Attell 


 Dan 


 Biggity Ben 


 Sean Quinn 


 Jason Gillearn 





Tom Segura's Friends Comments
Displaying 25 of 409 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
Matt Fulchiron





May 12 2009 3:23 PM

What up, freak? Shouts out.
Ron K. [MainPage]





Apr 29 2009 11:34 PM

Have a cool B-DAY & stay comedy!
Wondervik





Apr 4 2009 2:32 AM

Mr. Segura.. how is stand up? You going back on the Mohr Tohr soon?haha
Adam Richmond





Mar 16 2009 1:48 AM

Shake your ass this Thursday... Spread the good word...

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A TOWN





Mar 11 2009 1:47 PM

Bout Time....April 30th-May 3rd!! How do I get tickets....ticketmaster?
Buz





Feb 24 2009 8:32 AM

yOU TOTALLY ROCKED THE RICHMOND FUNNY BONE COMEDY CLUB THIS PAST WEEK!

GREAT JOB!

Buz with '1' z
Fork And Spoon Cartoon/Jesse Aguilar





Feb 4 2009 12:08 AM

awesome shit....ill try to catch a ct show
TK





Jan 29 2009 2:35 AM

Thanks Tom... I was hoping to see your show last week in Irvine but wound up hearing about Bert's urine leakage and wet crotch stained pants instead....
NEO





Jan 24 2009 8:07 PM

Well, they said they ordered a MAN video in the hotel room, then called you over, and you tripped out when you saw it on in the room! HAHA, what story you talking about!?!?!?
NEO





Jan 24 2009 6:22 AM

hey dude, missed ya last night with jay and burt.
they talked bout san jose and the gay porn! hahaha
12 Shiny Nickels





Jan 24 2009 6:22 AM

www.twelveshinynickels.com
www. twelveshinynickels. com
simP





Jan 19 2009 7:57 PM

Saw you in Atlantic City at Comedy Stop last Friday night. You were fucking awesome. wtf was with the dude with the sunglasses he fucking bombed, you should of been headlining. Keep up the good jokes.
peace
Matt Fulchiron





Dec 6 2008 12:22 AM

Yo. Yo. Respect.
JP





Nov 26 2008 4:21 PM

I can make the trip to Hartford to see a kick ass show. I have been to comedy places here and they even have some rated R club - meaning its the rudest and lewdest acts. You belong there... bc the guys they had were WEAK!!!
JP





Nov 19 2008 3:58 PM

Are you ever going to come out to Boston?! I have been waiting for a year - I saw you in Indy a few years back and you were great! Boston needs YOU!
Tom "The Tank" McClain





Nov 20 2008 7:38 AM

Hey Tommy! How are ya?
Turd Ferguson





Nov 5 2008 12:13 AM

Congrats, dude.


Matt(y) Balaker





Oct 21 2008 6:54 AM

See Tom at Red Rock. Go. You'll enjoy yourself.

Photobucket
Ken





Oct 14 2008 4:50 PM

http://www. youtube. com/watch?v=aJuaZKBABO0
"Friendly Frank"





Oct 13 2008 3:46 PM

Photobucket

Thanks for the Myspace add. Stay strong and funny.
Ruggles!





Oct 10 2008 12:22 AM

Segs! I couldn't get you for this movie so I got your stunt double! Help a brother with your celb status!

In the words of James Brown “Please, Please, PLEASE!” add my new movie Bicycle Lane to your MySpace friends!!! Subscribe to the blog! Tell your friends! Help spread the word!

www. myspace. com/bicyclelane

In the meantime watch the trailer and comment! Thanks for your help.

Love,
RUGGLES!

Bicycle Lane Trailer
NEO





Oct 4 2008 10:51 PM

Two homeless guys from L.A.
, World Tohr!!!
IRVINE IMPROV!





Oct 4 2008 5:56 PM

See Tom Segura at the Irvine Improv Tonight! He headline's the 11pm show. For special Tom Segura/MySpace discounts, use promocode: CUTMAN

www. improv. com
Box Office (949) 854-5455
Matt(y) Balaker





Oct 1 2008 6:19 AM

See Tom and his friend Chris Franjola at Red Rock Oct. 7 @ 8:15. Sickler won't perform but Dana will, so I imagine he's cool with that.

Photobucket
Turd Ferguson





Sep 26 2008 12:02 AM

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