When the fuck does the new season start? I've gone without kickball for over a month now. It's been the worst month of my life. We'll see everyone at the Kickballidazzle.
Yes that is correct!
Toxic Shockers suck.
Dee's Nuts
It was a hell of a game, though. Dee's Nuts commend the Shockers for their vast improvement in a short time. The Toxic Shockers are a worthy fucking adversary. Great job this year, and we will see you in the spring, if not before so. But always remember......you got beat by Dee's Nuts!
45 degrees and a little snow in the air. Perfect kickball weather. Have fun on your bye week, bitches. We'll be playing kickball while you sit on your asses watching Married....with children re-runs. DEEZ NUTZ!
Monkeys rained out in Milwaukee tonight, so we are playing on the internet before going to the Monkey Bar. Going to drink ourselves back to the stone-age!
That was some smashmouth kickball last night, Shockers. You played 'em tough, but Big Leg overpowered you once again. Playing in the cold-ass rain is not for the faint-of-heart, and I admire your courage. By the way, have you talked to Bob Oliver yet?
Somebody turn on the negatrometer! There is some deep-seeded anger formulating here. I wish you all good luck in the upcoming kickball season, except for the people whose last name rhymes with "Twanson." Those people can just fuck off. Unless they were married into the family. Then, they're cool. By the way, does anybody know the best way to remove tiny, oblong bits of sedimentary rock, formed by the constant forces of Earth's natural functions of glacial movement that caused rivers to form, enveloping all creature's deaths to settle to the bottom of the river, which eventually dries up, leaving tiny bits of oblong sedimentary rocks left on a kickball field, that ends up in my skin on a mint slide into first base?
Shockers,
We had a good show in last weeks scrimmage against Dee's Nuts. Although we didn't get the win, I wanted to give everyone a chance to play some different positions. As a result, we weren't always matched up properly against Dee and his constant need to win. That is fine. He can have that false sense of accomplishment. Maybe his daddy will love him now. We will get the win when the game actually matters.
Do not fear Dee's Nuts, Embrace Dee's Nuts! Dee's Nuts come with the most honest of intentions. Dee's Nuts wish you luck in the Fall Leagues. Alas, you only get to play with Dee's Nuts once, this season, and it is the last game of the year. Yes, it will be a while before you get to play with Dee's Nuts, so make it count when it happens.
It was a bitchin' inaugural season Shockers, and it was a privilege to play with you degenerate bastards. I'm looking forward to battling you in the fall league with the new team. It's gonna be a powderkeg of good-timery!
Okay, mofos! It's time to go fuck the prom queen. The rest of the games mean a whole lotta shit, and I expect nothing but the best from this group of outcasts. The whole town's against us, so I want to give a proverbial "fuck you" to them, and finish like Champions. I haven't worked so hard at being an asshole just to watch us fail. With god as my witness, I will press myself beyond reparable harm to win the next few games, provided your commitment is of the same intensity. Our time is NOW!
my fellow shockers,
kitty kat wouldn't let me sleep in my toxic shockers jersy last night. i think she called it stinky. last nights game was only a tie so i backed down. but what will happen after our next win?
i thought i knew her and now this!
any suggestions?
I'm thinking next year, we go to the Nationals. We'll do some fund-raisers......you know, a bake-sale here, a bingo night, there, maybe a shitload of keg parties with some bands playing, yadda, yadda, yadda, then we go out to the East Side, and meet those cool looking mofos, and kick balls in the name of the Midwest!
I declare a new baserunning strategy, by the way: clumsily fall to the ground, roll spastically in the gravel, then laugh hysterically. This completely confuses the other team and they're not sure what to do with the ball. Then you just get up and fucking run for it.
