The Storyteller

About me:

If I went to school for everything I'm seriously interested in, I would have to take up volunteer work as the Dalai Lama.

If presented with the ability of truly choosing the Lesser Evil, I would opt that monkeys are about to take over the universe and that we're all going to hell, anyway.

Sanity is for the weak.

I've wanted to be a singer, an actress, an archaeologist, an animator, a composer, a painter, an author, a minister, a counselor, a meterologist, an astronomer, a jockey, a teacher, a critic, a comedian, and a musician during the course of my lifetime. I have accomplished a little of each and none to the fullest extent.

I am one of the 15% of Americans to own a passport *and* use it.

I share the same birthday as Pee-Wee Herman and Mother Theresa.

My childhood TV reportoire consisted of: The Joy of Painting, The Frugal Gourmet, Brave Star, She-Ra, He-Man, DinoRiders, The Smurfs, My Little Pony, Lady Lovely Locks, Care Bears, Dungeons & Dragons, Strawberry Shortcake, Punky Brewster, Growing Pains, Saved by the Bell, New Kids on the Block, Star Trek, Bewitched, Beverly Hills 90210 (the cartoon), Gloworms, Thundercats, Voltron, and Jeopardy. This is why I'm a demented freak.

Useful Latin Phrases (because I'm a geek like that):

Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?

Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est.
The designated hitter rule has got to go.

Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.
I think some people in togas are plotting against me.

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.
If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar.

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
If you can read this you're over-educated.

Vidi Vici Veni
I saw, I conquered, I came

Raptus regaliter
Royally screwed (though 'pedicatus regaliter' would be more fun)

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

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