Edward H
Edward Montgomery
Edward Montgomery What You Don't Know CAN Hurt You

Male
97 years old
Greater Whimpney
United Kingdom



Last Login: 9/29/2009
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    Edward H's Interests
GeneralSurvival, Victorian postcards, curios... www.permanentbookshop.com www.borbonesa.co.uk
MusicI enjoy anything with a light Jazz feel. My current favourite is Mr Duke Special and his band, a rare treat to see, especially the marvellous playing of Mr Ben Castle.
MoviesBlinky's Revenge (the 1912 version), How we conquered the Mendips, Spend a Little Time with the Amazing Zukowski and Randall's Chance are among my favourites.
TelevisionI do not own a picture box, as it is used to control our minds. I refer mainly to the work of Noel Edmonds.
BooksI rather admire Orwell, though I also like a good Agatha Raisin mystery. I do mostly read non-fiction & pamphlets on survival, however.
HeroesGeneral Hubert Rhys, Albert Armstrong, and Tomance Chupney.

     Edward H's Details
Status:Single
Here for:Friends
Hometown:Burma
Body type:6' 6" / Slim / Slender
Zodiac Sign:Sagittarius
Education:Post grad
Occupation:Philanthropist & Editor


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   Edward H's Blurbs
About me:
I, Edward H. Montgomery, have now completed my new 'myspace' page. It is here that I shall be noting my thoughts and findings concerning the primary focus of my life's work - the protection of the weak and endangered. Many of you may have already read my research, in the noted publication 'Unforeseen Terrors'. For those of you who have not read my esteemed journal, however, let me explain.

'Unforeseen Terrors' was conceived in the hope of sparing many of my fellow humans the horrors that I have had the misfortune to encounter during the peculiar course of my life. The periodical takes the form of a small, hand-crafted 'zine, and is packed with advice and hints on how to avoid such dangers as Vampyres, Spies and Inclement Weather. Images can be viewed in my 'photos' section.

A little about myself now; I served in Burma throughout the late forties, then retired from the military to travel around the globe collecting curios. I now devote my time to helping those in deadly peril, and maintaining my archive of Victorian postcards.

Please leave me your comments and questions, and be sure to request 'Unforeseen Terrors' from your local merchant. It is also available from the delightful people at the Permanent Bookshop in Brighton.

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Who I'd like to meet:
Sir Tomance Chupney. In my humble opinion, one of the finest actors to have graced the silver screen. His performance as Doctor Schnotz in 'That Wonderful Doctor Schnotz' (1928) was delightful. Sadly he passed away last year, so I regret this ambition has only a slim chance of being fulfilled.

   Edward H's Friend Space (Top 10)
Edward H has 33 friends.
 Demetri Martin 


 Adam Green 


 Formally - His Son Elroy 


 Ben Folds 


 Mortimer Dulwich 


 Duke Special 


 The Mighty Boosh 


 Papercut: temporarily closed 


 Ben Castle 


 They Might Be Giants 





Edward H's Friends Comments
Displaying 6 of 6 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
Uffmoor Woods Music Club

Uffmoor Woods Music Club



 Nov 8 2008 1:19 PM

My esteemed colleague, be wary. My charwoman tells me of a wretched oupire stalking the halls of houndmills.
Schuman the human

Schuman the human



 Jun 4 2008 3:51 PM

Thanks for being our friend Edward, pleased to make your acquaintance and hope you enjoyed the songs Sir.
Mortimer Dulwich

Mortimer Dulwich



 Jul 17 2007 1:18 AM

Edward,

While I am, of course, aware that our association has been less than cordial of late, I feel that being the decent, honest, sort of chap that I am I simply cannot disregard your impending surgery. I realise, of course, that the procedure to re-attach one’s Robertson’s Guffaw is but a trifle in medical terms. However, the fact that you have insisted upon going without the customary ether-induced stupor is truly remarkable (you were inspired, no doubt, by your late uncle’s unfortunate experience – and who would have thought it possible to abscond with a fellow’s eyes during a simple foot examination?)
Although this would be enough to perturb most men, that you have also allowed the procedure to be conducted by an untried practitioner from St. Bran’s Sanatorium indicates considerable stalwartness and stoutness of constitution. And the surgeon in question is a thrice-convicted pickpocket! Astonishing!

No doubt I shall pay some manner of visit in the coming months, that I might look over your condition. I trust the malady will prove not to be feigned, as was the last. How you managed to simulate rigor mortis for six months I shall never know. And all so you could play an infantile prank on that bothersome rascal Lord Inverness…

Never-the-less, assuming that the ailment is genuine, I trust you shall enjoy a full recovery with only minimal facial scarring.

Regards,

Mortimer Dulwich, esq.

PS. Having said that, should you perish, might I take custody of your delightful azure tea-set? And perhaps that Pigeonware decanter?

PPS. Oh, and what about that rare Toby-jug sculpted to represent General Brigsom-Timms?
Mortimer Dulwich

Mortimer Dulwich



 Feb 14 2007 8:20 PM

Edward, Edward… Please do not allow us to descend into petty enmities. Time and again I have expressed regret for the unfortunate incident involving your laboratory assistant, but, as revealed at Doctor Finkle’s trial, I was entirely innocent of any wrongdoing. This aside, I am saddened that you feel it appropriate to insult my works in print. I now realise that my statement regarding a favourable review credited to you was made in error (the review in question was in fact by a Mrs. Penny P. Haberdash – I am unsure why this error was made). However, I feel that, as the editor of such a disreputable publication as ‘Terror Unseen’, or what-ever you call it, you have no right to criticise my exertions. Your tawdry ‘penny-dreadful’ is a disgrace to the world of literature, and I remain astounded that you are able to sleep at night.

Regards,

M. Dulwich esq.

PS. How might I go about renewing a subscription? I only ask since my Great-Aunt is a subscriber and has asked me organise this on her behalf. She subscribes under the name ‘Mortimer Dulwich, esq.’ Many thanks.
Mortimer Dulwich

Mortimer Dulwich



 Feb 12 2007 9:28 PM

Edward…
As much as it pains me to return to your 'Trans-world Grid' page, I feel I must object in the strongest possible terms to your recent communiqué. While I found the message itself brusque in tone and incoherent in content, 'twas the medium I found most offensive. Your aged carrier-pigeon (I believe it is named Mintsy) arrived at my residence and disrupted my uneasy slumber this night past, and proceeded with an attempt to gain my attention, in the process dislodging a prized chrysanthemum atop my window-sill. The bird remained out-side my dormer window for the best part of an hour after I had collected the attached document, and caused great distress to not only myself, but my caged song-bird, Benfry. In future, I must request that if you must initiate discussion, you do so via the system currently employed by myself. If this is for some reason impractical and bird-based contact must be made, then please do so at a reasonable hour. By the time yesterday's incident had concluded, it was almost half-past eight.

Regards,
M. Dulwich esq.

PS. I shall be billing you presently for the cost of replacing the chrysanthemum, pot and soil. Please expect delivery of the invoice no sooner than Thursday, as it has been dispatched by dog.
Mortimer Dulwich

Mortimer Dulwich



 Feb 10 2007 9:23 PM

Greetings, Edward. It's been a long time. Some might say too long.

Not me, however. Suffice to say I consider you a 'friend' only as a consequence of your positive assessment of my first novel, 'Eranthanon!' (the Fudgeley Review, 23rd Nov. edition) and our mutual admiration of Sir Tomance Chupney.

I trust this has settled the matter.

Regards,
M. Dulwich, esq.

PS. Oh yes, a review copy of 'Eranthanon Revisited' is on its way.
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