GROCER
The vegetable shop was sweating. The bananas were peeling as was I; Old Helmet head, a scamp, a waif, a daft angel. And so I ran my tips over the limes in the citrus section while gazing at this lady who just had the biggest tits ever like yo-yo’s they were-spinning up and down into the soil clad turnips they were. “Wow mama,” I say and then glide over the new potatoes so as to serve this fella. He’s bent over the pitted fruits section. “Are these dates ripe?” he says. “For you me fella they are, as ripe as your fig like eyes,” but old helmet head does not say the latter. “I’ll take three pounds worth then,” he says. “Yeah they will get you regular old fella…that’s two fifty me friend.” Old fella now turns and gallops out of the shop like some kind of animal who just found some nuts…a squirrel. “Ha ha,” I say. I am a daft helmet head. “Woop, woop.”
The pub was misty; clad in sweat, farts, piss pores and let’s face it probably a bit of fanny guff and like usual Old-cock nose was behind the bar. “Pint of the thick stuff,” I say. “A pint of the thick stuff me old chum, ta ta.” I were gasping for that brown ooze I can tell ya. I make fast for my table it’s by the window, so I can watch the lamas in their heeled hooves stroll by. Old helmet head does like to gleg at their arses. “Oh peachy peach…” I sit and wip out me nuts, I’d asked for nuts off Old-cock nose, and then checked me watch; ten to six it was. I must have got out early…. well fuck it I hadn’t got any more tats to bag. You see a while back some porky root digger had delivered loads of spuds to the shop. There were mountains of em fliping mountains and of course old helmet head was the sap that had to bag em in cloth at the end of the day. Well not today, so cheers root digger you rootie old fruit this ones for you and the end of your tats.
It took a while for our Rubin to get to the nags head, hell id already done another brown brew- but he was here now- sweating in streams he was. “Bad day at the post house,” he said. I tell him to suck on these and I hand him two Friday clams. Yeah everybody likes a pill at the weekend says I. We suck our lips and pucker and hiss our way through more of the brown stuff. Rubin tells me how his mam’s not too chipper. She bent over backwards in bed or summat. Hell if I can concentrate now anys-how as there were an angel buzzing in me head making me eyes dance like hungry baby crows. Word was as Rubin went on to say was that there was a shindig going on at some lambs house. The lambs were back from uni or summat. “Great,” I say and after another brown we made fast.
Hope you’re all fantastic! Saturday 28th November sees THE PLAYGROUND present the Nominees for the Best Breakthough Act BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB on the decks along with the most exciting, innovative and genuinely imaginative force in music right now- GAGGLE.
BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB- DJ// GAGGLE// THE COOLNESS// COLD IN BERLIN// PUSS IN BOOTS// ELECTRIC RIOT// MICRON 63// LEIGH DE VRIES// THE GAA GAA’S // THE DEEP BELOW// DJ Darkorse// Straightola (VJ Set) and Burlesque performances
Expect a sell out show so to avoid frustration at the door get your early bird tickets in advance below!!
THE PLAYGROUND presents Filthy Electro Trash on Saturday 14th Novmber. Come along and celebrate with:
Punks Jump Up (KITSUNE)// Punx Soundcheck (KITSUNE)// Steed Lord// Gobsausage// Glass Diamond// TOY TOY// The Education// Mr. Beasley// Ben Osborne// DJ Darkorse// Circa Burlesque- Little Bo Freak// Chrys Columbine// Slinky Sparkles and Straightola (VJ Set)
Hey there Get up close and personal with Franz Ferdinand at their official Brixton UK Tour after party. Expect FRANZ FERDINAND drummer Paul Thomson spinning indie-punk mayhem on the decks along with Sleazy-electro in room 2 from AfroPunk DJ’s and a live set from DELOOZE until 4AM. Advance tickets from www.ticketground.co.uk
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